


Hungry Eyes

by Ishipalot92



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, I did warn you I was reylo trash, Leaving numbers and notes in secret places, On HIATUS because idk what I’m doing, Possible smut, Secret Identity, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship, Trope galore, this is fun and fluffy and romantic at times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-04-26 02:13:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 62,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14392080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ishipalot92/pseuds/Ishipalot92
Summary: Rey should really try to succeed in her Psychology class, even if her teacher doesn’t make it easy. But she can’t help spending her time reading the terrible advice column in the school paper where students face ruthless answers to their questions by one Kylo Ren.Well, everyone but her. There’s something about him she can’t quite place





	1. It Had to Be You

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing Reylo so please excuse me. I just couldn’t help it and I have so many kinks when it comes to Reylo fanfiction. I am absolute trash when it comes to our space leaders. Also, there’s a tribute to our captain Rian Johnson in here.

$129.98

_Why couldn’t that just been rounded up to $130, even if her wallet begged for it to be $129?_

 

Rey didn’t even know why she was looking for textbooks so early in the morning. Maybe it was anxiety about a new year, which was still a week away. But she was an over achiever according to her few close friends. That’s what she had to be growing up the way she did. She didn’t want to be dumpster diving her whole life. 

“Books don’t take that long to come in the mail,” her friend Finn would tell her. 

Rey refused to order her books the Wednesday before school started and risk having them not come in time. Poe and Finn were champions when it came to getting a late start, especially Finn. 

“Amazon prime,” Poe would say with a wink.

She hadn’t forgotten when his package was stolen because it was left at the door and nobody was home all day. But Poe claimed it’s because it was ordered through a third party on the site.

Unable to fall back asleep, Rey turned to her left and reached for her laptop. It wasn’t one of the fancy ones that Poe would get. Hers was cheap but well taken care of. Then again, Poe needed the best laptop for his classes as he used some programs that Rey had never even heard of until she met him. 

She opened her upcoming schedule, as it screamed at her to sign up for 2 more classes. 12 credits were needed to be full time. 

“Let’s find an easy 1 credit course and an easy 3 credit course, shall we?” She muttered to herself. 

Health? Possibly. But she preferred classes in person rather than online, where she risked the chance of forgetting a due date. 

The other health class taken in person at an atrocious time. Rey worked Monday nights and while it would work around her schedule, she did not want to piss off Plutt right now any more than she already had. He hated her for no reason and often called her a stubborn girl. She called it independent thinking. 

She should look at other classes.

Psychology 101.

No prerequisites needed except for an English class she had taken her freshman year. The teacher was Ben Solo and the class was at a perfect time- Mondays and Wednesdays from 9-10:15 a.m. Her next class those days wasn’t until 11 so it left her plenty of time to get from one class to the other without having to rush. 

“Ben Solo, Ben Solo,” Rey muttered to herself.

“Rey?” there was a quiet knock on her door.

“Yes?”

Rey’s roommate, Kaydel, poked her head in. “I’m sorry but I heard you say something so I thought you were awake.”

Rey gave her a small smile. “I was.”

“I’ve seen you reading the school paper. I have to go in for a final today but would you like me to see if they have the weekly copy? They’re always new on Mondays.”

“That would be fantastic! The paper isn’t very interesting during the summer term but with school starting, I might see a few good articles.”

Kaydel (or Ko, as their roommate Rose would call her) gave Rey a thumbs up before quietly closing the door and heading to her last week of summer term. 

Rey looked back to her laptop. The name Ben Solo stared back at her from screen. She opened up a new tab and looked up his ratings on rate my professor. Any lower than 3.5 and she tended to avoid that teacher.

She snorted. The first thing that had caught her eye was the chili pepper. 

His ratings weren’t too bad. The would taken again section was only at 68% and judging by the comments, it was only due to his looks. Rey had lost all faith in the “hotness” factor after her first two years. She hadn’t found much appeal in Professor Hux. He scared her too much.

And then there had been Professor Dominic “DJ” Juarez. Attractive for an older guy, but the way he spoke about cracking code made it seem as if he had done it for both sides of the law. Even Finn had given her puzzled looks during those classes. 

Ms. Holdo had been Rey’s favorite teacher sophomore year. She taught physics and while she was a stern woman, she cared for her students. Ms. Holdo had made herself available after every class period for one hour and clarified any confusion students may have had. Rey had been in the class with Poe, who was one year ahead of her in school and about 12 years older in age. Poe had been with the air force for a few years and decided to pursue more education after he was sent home. 

But back to Ben Solo.

Not a bad rating, Rey thought to herself. Overall a 3.8 even though the difficulty was a little higher than she wanted for a class that had nothing to do with her major.

She signed up.

Now just a 1 credit…

Finn  
_7:33 a.m: You awake?_

Rey smiled. Finn had work in the mornings until the fall semester so they would make time for each other in the afternoons or evenings.

Rey Johnson  
_7:34 a.m: I am. Is everything ok?_

Finn  
_7:35 a.m: Did you read the new paper?_

Rey Johnson  
_7:37 a.m: How did you get it so fast? Kaydel hasn’t even gotten it yet._

Finn  
_7:40 a.m: I work at the computer lab. It prints out in an office next to me…_

Rey Johnson  
_7:45 a.m: Send me a screenshot of that advice column!_

Finn  
_7:47 a.m: The one by that Kylo Ren person you’ve become obsessed with reading from?_

Rey Johnson  
_7:48 a.m: I’m not obsessed._

Finn  
_7:49 a.m: Intrigued by._  
[Image sent]

Rey saved the screenshot and zoomed in. She couldn’t see much except for one question and one response. A writer with the nickname Mitaka asked Kylo Ren-  
**I ran into my previous employer this morning. And the old feelings of hate surfaced because of how miserable that job was. Is that common?**

 **Mitaka, yes. I have been in that position, and, without saying much in regard to anyone, I may or may not be in the same predicament and it may or may not be with a current employer. Let the past die.**

Rey needed the new paper now. She had several other copies of the school paper where this Kylo Ren had responded to students and (likely) faculty and staff. 

**What girl??**

That was his response to somebody only writing **“There’s this girl…”** and nothing else. Rey did not know Kylo but she could sense his irritation just through his writing. 

Before she knew it, her roommate was home from her classes. Rey had spent more than two hours rereading all of Kylo Ren’s responses throughout the semester. Kaydel left the paper on the kitchen table. 

“Any easy 1 credit classes I can sign up for?” Rey asked her.

Kaydel shrugged. “Not unless you want to do an hour of weight lifting a week.”

“I could do that. I signed up for a psychology class today. Have you ever had Ben Solo as a teacher?”

“I’m studying physical therapy, not psychological therapy. But I have heard the name before.”

“This is only an intro class.”

“Then you should be fine. All I hear is that there’s a psychology teacher who gets into your head. Not in a creepy way, but he knows what kind of thoughts you’re having based on your facial expressions and tone of voice. Apparently, you can be under hypnosis and not know it because it’s not the hypnosis on tv where they swing something side to side in front of you. The teacher might be Ben Solo but it’s hard to remember every teacher’s name, you know?”

“Who is this?” Rose walked out of her room, looking as if she had just woken up. “Sorry, I just woke up and heard the name Ben Solo.”

“You know him?” Rey asked.

“Paige does. She said she’s surprised the girls and even some of the guys managed to keep their pants on in class. Something about his voice apparently.”

“Well I can keep my pants on while I listen to Jeremy Irons, so I think I’ll be okay,” Rey assured her. She held her hand out. “Do you have the paper?”

Kaydel slapped it onto the table. “At your service, Mrs. Ren.”

Rey blushed, taking the paper and going back to her room. There was a sandwich stand opening up at the university, a few new staff members, and more products to buy at the bookstore. Rey shook her head. As if there would ever be someone who would buy fresh flowers or treats for her (not counting Finn as a friend). 

To her disappointment, there wasn’t much from Kylo Ren this week. Maybe it was because school hadn't started or maybe it was his lack of propriety. 

_Should I?_

Rey glanced at the new paper and the previous ones she had. This was an itch she could easily scratch. Much unlike her romantic life. 

What have I got to lose?

She opened up her computer and began to type.

**Kylo- As a loyal reader, I was hoping for some advice…**

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was unlikely to see a smile on someone’s face on the first day back after summer. Even on Finn, who walked to campus with Rey as he had signed up for psychology with her. 

“Anything to avoid a class with Mr. Hux again,” Finn had told both Rey and Poe on Friday night. 

“Right here,” Rey held onto Finn’s hand as they walked into the classroom. Very few people were there. One person was sitting in the corner on the right hand side, someone with dark hair and (as far as she could see) a full set of lips that would distract anyone who cared to look. Rey, to avoid sitting in the back and getting called on, sat at the desk in front of him. She tried to say hello but he was too busy writing notes.

More students came in and took seats. There was no bell at the University but Rey kept an eye on the clock on the wall. Out of 50 seats, only three were left empty. 

Something moved in her backpack. 

Looking over, Rey saw Finn look down and back up to meet her eyes. She reached into it and pulled out the weekly paper.

“All right then,” the student sitting behind her stood up. Rey jumped. His voice was deep and commanding. “Let’s begin.”

Finn met her eyes, which she was sure were as wide as his.

Rey watched the man get up and walk to the front of the room. She turned around and looked at the empty desk.

Make that 46 students.

Her favorite column was left unread.

**Dearest Sunny.**


	2. Soul Meets Body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is to fill the hole in my heart that has been there since Kismet stopped updating. I realized to that I should not have let Rey put her real name in. I changed that.

_This_ was Professor Solo?

He was…tall and young. With messy raven hair, a full set of lips (Rey was, in fact, looking at them more than she wanted to admit), dark eyes, and broad shoulders. 

Not at all what Rey was expecting. 

“Everyone should have their books by next Monday,” he turned to the board and jotted down a few notes from the sheet of paper in his hands. “Who has them now?”

A few hands went up, including Rey’s. Professor Solo turned around for a split second to count the number of people who had their books. 

“Will somebody pass these around please?” he held out his left hand filled with paper, while still writing on the board. After a few seconds of no one standing up, he shook the papers in his hand. “Now,” his tone became impatient. A girl from the front row stood up and took the sheets from him. “Make sure everyone gets a copy.”

Rey looked down at her desk once the girl passed her. It was the syllabus.

Professor Solo stopped writing and walked around the room. 

“I have a TA that helps me to grade assignments. As you can imagine, that thrills me more than sitting through an hour-long class thrills those here with attentions spans shorter than a child’s. I’m guessing that would be over 50% of you? You can’t go an hour without looking at your phone,” he held his hand out to a guy sitting in the second row, who begrudgingly gave his phone up, “or drawing hearts,” he stopped at a girl who had been on his phone and looked at her. “As you have been doing since this class started.” The girl blushed. “Already, that’s two of the 46 people. “Make it four with the two girls in the front row now texting each other.”

The two girls paused and looked over their shoulder at him.

“One of you forgot to turn the phone off of vibrate,” Professor Solo said coldly. “Try harder next time.”

Rey watched the scene unfold as he called out another guy who was making vulgar motions to a friend of his. The guy was told to leave the class if he was caught again.

“Now I’m debating on counting the two people who want to share the school paper with each other. That was before I stood up so I will let that go today, but if it ever happens after class, I can take the paper away and separate the two of you for the rest of the semester.”

Finn flinched. Rey kept a straight face. 

**Kylo- As a loyal reader, I was hoping for some advice. No matter how many others I surround myself with, there’s this hole. I think it’s the fear of always being alone, the same way I grew up. Maybe you haven’t felt like this, maybe you have. Have you ever known someone who grew up feeling alone?**

Rey replayed the words in her head over and over again. Why did she have to dump that in writing, for a stranger no less? Unkar had always told her to keep that to herself. 

“Did you girlfriend recently leave you?” a deep voice interrupted her thoughts.

Rey jumped. The voice was at the desk of the guy who had been making hand gestures to this friend. 

“Because I see vulgar motions that tells me you have no respect for women, but inside I see a 13 year old boy in a man’s body. Refer to the girl sitting in front of you like that again and there will be a 0 on all your assignments this week.”

The vulgarity stopped. 

Maybe Professor Solo wasn’t bad at all. 

“Can anyone tell me who this is?” he pointed to a name written on the board.

Hermann Ebbinghaus. 

Someone in the front raised their hand. “He was German.”

Rey could sense the amount of restraint Professor Solo used in order not to roll his eyes. “Anything else?”  
Silence.

He turned to the board and wrote in big letters. “Memory!” He put the marker down. “Also known for his work on discovering the forgetting curve and the spacing effect. I need a volunteer.”

Several hands went up, including Rey’s. 

“You,” he pointed to Rey, looking at her since class first started. “Come up here.”

Rey stood up, already feeling the eyes on her. She may not have been wearing a mini skirt like the bombshell girl who passed around the syllabi, or the $100+ pair of shoes she saw on the guy with the confiscated phone, but she had what she could afford. Even if it meant washed up jeans and a blouse from a thrift store. 

Hence the nickname that had stuck with her in High School. Scavenger. They didn’t know that she made several great finds just dumpster diving and going to a thrift store. It was amazing what people threw out. 

“What’s your name?” he asked Rey, once she was at the front of the room. He motioned for her to sit on the stool that he had pulled from the side of the room. 

She sat down. “Rey.”

“Rey,” he repeated. “Ok, Rey, without being specific, how much do you remember from the first time you went to a dance? And how long ago was it?”

She never went to one in school. “Three years ago. I remember that I was wearing,” she lied. He wouldn’t know. Rey had learned how to put on the honest face growing up in foster care.

“You do?” He studied her for a moment. “Ah, you do.”

Rey shifted in her seat. Suddenly feeling warm, she looked around to see her classmates looking at Professor Solo more than her. One person was on their phone, taking advantage of the fact that no eyes were on her. Finn looked at her and gave her a comforting smile. 

So why the sudden warmth? Could he somehow see that she was lying? Or was it the tone and look he gave her when he said those last three words. 

“What is your least favorite food?” he asked

She could never afford to be fussy with food but a few stuck out. “Eggplant.”

“Do you remember the first or last time you had it?”

Rey scrunched up her nose. “I only had it once and I don’t remember when.”

Professor Solo broke eye contact and looked to the other students. “Does anyone want to tell me why she doesn’t remember when she last ate her least favorite food?”

“Because she doesn’t want to remember!” someone called out.

“Thank you for raising your hand,” Professor Solo answered dryly. “That is true though. So why do we remember the bad times?”

Nobody spoke. 

“So we can learn from the past. Or because it’s humiliating and we can’t let it go,” Rey answered. 

“And a good memory,” Finn suggested. 

Surprisingly, both of their answers were well received by Professor Solo. “The strength of memory. Which we can contribute to if we allow it. The ones paying attention today will remember what we discussed today for the next few weeks. If, however, you do not enjoy it then you will forget it by next Monday. If you study and let yourself come back to this lesson, then it will be in your brain for a longer period of time. After finals week, you won’t have to remember anything so you will all likely forget it by New Years.”

Rey was sent back to her seat. The rest of the period went by quickly. She walked out of the room with Finn.

“So what did the paper say?” he asked her.

She gave him a blank stare. “The syllabus?”

“That too, but I meant the school paper!” he seemed almost excited to hear about it.

Of course he was letting her explain the syllabus to him. “Finn! I wrote the first thing that I thought of. Why was I so stupid? Kylo could be an 80-year-old man preying on young girls for all we know!”

“Has Rose been having you watch all those crime shows again? Except for that last part because I would hope the school wouldn’t hire someone out of criminal minds, I wouldn’t worry. Who cares if Kylo walks with a cane and talks about his childhood in World War II? That would mean he has a lot of wisdom.”

Finn had a point. But Rey learned early on to be careful and remain skeptical. 

“Either you can read it now and we’ll keep it to ourselves or Poe and Rose will hear it when we meet for lunch.”

Rey took the paper out of her bag and opened it.

“Dear Sunny,” she began to read, pausing to glare at Finn as he chortled. 

“I’m sorry, but Sunny?”

“Well I wasn’t giving my real name out!” Rey said defensively before continuing. “I know…” she paused as she read it to herself. 

“What? He knows what?” Finn asked, anxiously. 

As if in a trance, Rey stared at the paper before shaking her head. “Dear Sunny, I know the feeling you speak of. Maybe because I choose to keep myself separated from my family. I like it that way. To be alone rather than with my parents and my uncle or that thing my dad calls a pet. Would you choose to be alone or to be in a room with more strangers than friends? I chose the first more often than not when I was young,” taking a breath, Rey stopped to look at Finn. If they’re still alive, he’s not 80.”

“So that leaves the predator option.”

“Yes, or just someone who has never been able to open up to another person.”

“Don’t tell me you want to continue writing him?”

“I can take care of myself. He isn’t coming to me in a parking garage at night asking if I want a glass of white wine.”

Finn shrugged. “I have class this way, so I’ll talk to you later?”

“I’ll meet with you all for lunch,” Rey promised as she went to another class. 

There was time to spare. Setting her bag down onto the floor next to her, she sat on a chair in the hall and took out a pen and paper. 

**Kylo- I am sorry to hear that. Not everyone can be social and I do not blame you for wanting to be alone if you were uncomfortable. I would choose to be alone than in a room of strangers. Have you ever had to choose between those two? - Sunny**

The week long wait to hear back from Kylo was going to kill her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry, there won’t be one conversation a week. Maybe they can find a way to communicate more? Cough *leaving notes in secret places trope* cough
> 
> I know it was short. My parents are in town and we're doing wedding plans with my fiancee. I'll be able to write more this weekend :)   
> And I posted this late so I hope everyone sees this update lol.


	3. Owner of a Lonely Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more of the psychology class and a little more of Ben and Rey speaking. Introducing the "seeing each other in public" trope!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you have already been able to see, I’m adding characters. Not everyone in the Star Wars universe can be Rey’s classmates!  
> Thank you for the kudos, comments, bookmarks, etc. I know there was a post going around about how fic authors should reply to comments but not to boost the number of comments.  
> Here's a longer chapter! Hope it isn't too boring.

_Tap tap tap._

Poe and Finn exchanged concerned looks. 

“Rey, you’ve been staring at your screen and tapping your foot on occasion for the last 10 minutes,” Poe said. When she didn’t respond, he leaned to Finn. “What’s going on?”

Finn shrugged. “She was a little anxious yesterday, but that’s it.”

Poe reached out to touch her arm.

“Sorry,” she apologized. “Did you say something?”

“Now I am curious,” Finn leaned forward. “You got a boyfriend? A cute boyfriend?”

She looked up. “None of your business, that’s what,” she replied before looking back at her computer screen. 

Finn snuck up behind her. 

“Holy shit! You wrote him _again_ ?!” He peered closer. “I do not blame you for wanting to be alone,” he read. “No, but I bet you wish you could join him!” Poe gave him a high five. 

Rey closed the document, face red as a cherry. “And now Poe knows.”

“It’s to that Kylo person,” Finn explained to Poe. He looked back to Rey. “You know you have to wait until Monday right?” 

Poe shook his head. “I don’t know how you can wait so long for an answer. I get impatient just waiting an hour for a response on text.”

“I don’t imagine you could wait to give a response when you were in flight school. Must be the training you received there. Someone asks and someone answers,” Finn said. “Rey, are you ready to go?”

They had agreed to walk together to school on the mornings they had the same class. 

Rey’s civil engineering classes had all gone well after her psychology class. The only new one was weight lifting, held for an hour on Thursdays. There was no hands-on teaching for it. Only a professor who would supervise and keep an eye out. 

“I got my book today,” Finn said.

“Now I won’t worry you’ll be looking over my shoulder when we read,” Rey told him. 

“I would never do that.”

They walked into the room and noticed Professor Solo had not yet arrived. Rey noticed that the boy making lewd gestures on the first day was sitting with his friend in the very back. The same girl who had passed around the syllabus was now in the front, wearing an extremely short skirt and a low-cut top. Someone called her by the name Sarah. 

To Rey’s surprise, nobody had dropped out of the class after the first day. 

There was no greeting when he walked in. Today, he was wearing glasses (Rey would never admit aloud, but the look suited him) with jeans and a mustard yellow button down dress shirt. 

“Did anyone else get their books?” he asked, setting down his crossbody onto the desk.

Many hands were raised. 

He gave a silent nod and turned off one of the light switches. The room dimmed and there was silence as everyone watched the projector turn on. 

“Who remembers what we discussed on Monday?”

“The forgetting curve?” the girl in the short skirt answered. 

“Is that a question or was it meant to be an answer?” he said in that baritone voice, sounding bored. 

“You had that girl up here telling you she didn’t keep bad memories as often as she kept all the good ones,” when she said the word girl, Professor Solo looked to where Rey was sitting. They made eye contact for half a second before Rey looked away. 

“Moving on,” his desktop appeared on the projector. The only file Rey was able to see before he clicked on his lesson was a file with the name Responses. 

Understanding Behavior was the title of today’s lesson. 

Rey got out her notebook. 

“Let’s start with the lower levels of explanations. If you have your books, turn to page 12.”

Finn looked to Rey and mouthed “ _Levels?_ ”

Professor Solo started speaking. “There are various levels of explanations that we use to describe human behavior. The lower level is simple enough if you passed high school. Lower levels relate to biological influences. Those would include neurotransmitters, genes, hormones, and the-“

“That explains girls that one time a month,” commented the boy who had acted crudely in the first lesson. A few people, including his friend, snickered. 

Rey looked to Professor Solo, whose shoulders were hunched and whose fingers were tightly gripping the edge of his desk. 

“Anything else?” he asked in a voice more dangerously low than normal. 

Nobody answered. 

“The middle levels of explanation refer to the abilities and to the characteristics of individuals. Self explanatory. Any smart questions?” he looked up for a few seconds then back to his screen. The slide changed. “Higher levels of explanations are related to social groups, cultures, and organizations.” 

One person raised her hand. “Are we saying some people act a certain way because of the country they’re from?”

Professor Solo furrowed his brow. “I will take that as a sign you have not travelled more than 100 miles from here. Yes, I am saying that,” he motioned to Rey. “You, with the English accent.”

Rey dropped her pen. 

“You drive on the other side of the road in England. But that’s a cultural thing, not something you do because of hormones,” he turned back to the girl who has asked the question. “It’s not racist to automatically relate a behavior to someone’s culture. Everyone here grew up differently than the person sitting next to them.”

The discussion went on until the end of the period. Rey noticed Sarah always raising her hand, even without knowing the answer. Professor Solo assigned them all their reading assignment for the next class- factors of depression and Sarah stayed after class for a few minutes to “ask questions”. Rey was actually interested in reading about the homework topic and writing a three page paper on it. 

“Three pages!” Finn grumbled when they left class. “With my luck, I’ll be assigned large writing assignments from all my other classes too.”

“If three pages is too many on a broad topic such as this one, then I don’t know how you write large essays,” Rey told him. 

“Lots of caffeine and lots of procrastinating,” Finn joked. “Well I’m this way, so I’ll see you at lunch.”

When lunch came, Kaydel was able to sit with the other four. Rey, Finn, Poe, and Rose split up to get the food they wanted. It was always agreed that one or two people would stay at the table to save the seats while the others got food. Today, Kaydel and Poe chose to stay and let the others go first. 

Rey stood in line with Rose for some sandwiches. 

“He’s cute,” Rose pointed to someone at the front of the line. “Not that I would ever admit that to Finn. I was thinking more for you or Kaydel or maybe Paige if she ever decides to date at all.”

“Who are we supposed to be looking at?” Rey asked her, lowering her voice to prevent being overheard and embarrassed. 

“That one,” Rose pointed discreetly. 

“There are at least five different guys there,” Rey hissed. “Mixed in with the girls standing in a disorganized circle.”

“Dark hair, jeans, and a shirt,” Rose explained. 

The dark hair description took away a redhead and a blonde. “Well at least you told me he’s wearing a shirt, Rose. I don’t know if I could have found him otherwise,” Rey rolled her eyes. 

“Tall! Next to the redhead!” Rose whispered more loudly. As if he had miraculously heard her, the dark-haired guy turned his face to the side to talk to the redhead. 

Rey looked more closely. 

Well shit.

“Yellow shirt and glasses?”

“Yes!”

“Oh. Oh, I-I’m definitely out,” Rey suddenly found it hard to speak. Kaydel might be too, for the um, the um…”

“The what?” Rose questioned. 

“Ethical reasons.”

“What do you mean by ethical reasons?”

Rey watched as Professor Solo ordered his food. “Remember Paige mentioning the name Ben Solo? Well that’s him. That’s who Finn and I have for Psychology Monday and Wednesday mornings.”

“Really?” Rose squealed. 

“Yes! Now shush, before he hears you.”

“Am I crazy or is he younger than most university teachers? Or maybe not. I remember a young one from my first semester. I don’t remember his name but he was very sarcastic. Oh, and my art teacher last year was only in her 30’s. Miss Courtney helped me a lot that semester.”

Rey was only half listening. Professor Solo had stepped aside to wait for his food. He took his food once it was ready, spotting her and Rose when he turned around. He left the food court without acknowledging them (even if he didn’t know Rose).

“I have an assignment to get started on,” Rey apologized once she had wolfed down her lunch. The others were still talking. “I’ll see everyone later.”

“See you back at the apartment,” Kaydel said. 

“Are you already starting that psychology paper?” Finn asked her.

“No,” Rey lied. “I’ll do that a little later. This is for a civil engineering class.”

“Don’t have too much fun,” Poe gave her a wink.

“I plan to actually study and not just say I will,” she had worked too hard otherwise. She had no inheritance and no family to fall back on. 

Once Rey had walked into the Health and Science building, she pulled out a folder and took out the syllabus from her psychology class. The homework assignments were clear (with a few “dates may be changed”) and an office number. His office hours were not for another 15 minutes. 

She could wait. She had no class for another two hours and this gave her time to do research before speaking with him. 

The 15 minutes flew by. Rey had written some notes about what to go over. 

She walked into a narrow hallway with different offices. A tall woman with short blonde hair walked past her.

“Excuse me,” Rey stopped her. “I’m looking for Ben Solo’s office.”

“I’m his TA, Phasma. Are you in one of his classes?” 

Rey nodded. “Psychology 101.”

Phasma nodded toward the end of the hallway. “Down there, last one to the right. He’s just writing down course material,” with that, she turned on her heel and walked away.

Rey took a deep breath and walked to the door. She must have been standing outside the door for several minutes, deciding whether to knock or go. She decided on the former. 

Professor Solo opened the door. His hair looked as if he’d been running his hands through them over and over again. 

“Ineedyourhelpwiththis,” she held up the paper that contained her ideas for the essay. 

He gave her a blank stare.

Rey tried again, a little more slowly. “I need your help with this.”

He held the door open for her and invited her in. “Already started?”

“I just want to make sure I’m on the right path,” she explained. He gestured for her to take a seat on the other side of his desk. 

He sat across from her. “What do you have?”

“Ideas,” she placed the sheet of paper on the desk. 

He didn’t even look at it. “I can’t help you cheat on this assignment,” he said, flatly. 

“It’s not to cheat!” Rey answered defensively. “I was only hoping for a suggestion on what might be important to note.”

Professor Solo took the paper and skimmed it quickly. 

“I asked about factors of depression. While I see no problem in mentioning statistics, don’t dawdle on them. Without saying much, you did mention the three factors…”  
“Biological, social, and cultural.”

He looked up at her, eyebrows raised. “You mention Prozac. “

“I know it’s not a factor but it’s been prescribed to decrease depression. I think it’s important to mention that.”

“And psychological therapy.”

“Also important. It helps to cope with negative life experiences.”

“All levels of explanation, from biological to personal to cultural, help us to have a better understanding of human behavior,” he stopped reading and handed her paper back to her. “Very well.”

“That’s it?” 

He shrugged. “I gave you some suggestions, but I want you to do this on your own. Write more on Prozac and psychological therapy but relate them to the factors. How does medicine that might help with depression relate to the contributing causes?”

Rey sighed. “Thank you Professor Solo.”

Her foot was almost out the door when he spoke again. 

“Why did you lie?”

She whipped around. “I’m sorry?”

“On Monday. You lied to me when I asked you about the dance.”

“How did you-?”

“There was pain in your eyes. It wasn’t the same pain I saw when you remembered your disgust for your least favorite food. What I saw for your so-called happy memory was sadness.” 

Rey didn’t answer. They stared at each other for a moment before she blushed and walked away. 

There was something about this girl, Ben thought to himself as he watched her leave. She was not vying for his attention like Sarah or being rude like Connor (Ben had learned his name after class when he pulled him aside and threatened a failing grade for the first assignment). Rey Johnson kept to herself and a few close friends.

All he could remember from Monday was the look in her eyes. 

Ben Solo had seen that same look many times. It was the look he would see in the mirror every day, telling him he wasn’t good enough and continuously reminding him of the past. 

He shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts from his head. Opening his laptop again, he went over his received messages. Only a select few people liked to speak with Ben Solo. Many more liked to speak with Kylo Ren. 

**Dear Sunny, I know the feeling you speak of. Maybe because I choose to keep myself separated from my family. I like it that way. To be alone rather than with my parents and my uncle or that thing my dad calls a pet. Would you choose to be alone or to be in a room with more strangers than friends? I chose the first more often than not when I was young ******

Ben tapped his fingers on his desk. Maybe, just maybe, he would hear from Sunny again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got to slowly build them up, y'know? :D  
> All mistakes are mine
> 
>  
> 
> An excerpt from the next chapter
> 
> "You're out here in the rain alone."  
> "Walk me home?"  
> Rey put the note away into her bag. She would respond to Kylo Ren later.
> 
>  
> 
> See you all in the Reylo trash heap sometime next week! You can find me on tumblr as ishipalot


	4. Collide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I’m doing wedding stuff and I work full time. Also, I know I mentioned Rey having Holdo during her sophomore year. She is in her junior year (for those outside the U.S- 3rd year of university. She is 20 for now). She works at what we call a “strip mall” in the U.S which is not a mall but a small shopping area.  
> I made a huge mistake- I wrote in chapter 1 that Finn had a class with Phasma and then made her a TA last chapter. Fixed to make Hux the teacher that Finn had. Sorry!
> 
> Thank you for the continued support!

Rey shut her laptop closed. 

“Done!” she breathed a sigh of relief. Work tonight was going to kill her but she was able to finish her psychology paper. 

The letter to Kylo was submitted to the paper, engineering homework done, and an hour of free time before she had to be at work. 

Working at the bookstore wasn’t a bad gig. Unkar was rarely lenient with her school work but the job paid the bills and food. She was scheduled for three nights a week with every other Saturday afternoon. This was one of those Saturdays. 

Finn  
_2:21 p.m: When are you done with work?_

Rey Johnson  
_2:24 p.m: When all the stores next to us close. At 9_

Finn  
_2:26 p.m: You and your roommates should come by. Poe is renting a couple of movies tonight_

Rey Johnson  
_2:28 p.m: That might be late Finn. I still have homework to finish before Monday._

_Finn  
_2:32 p.m: Bring your laptop. Or use mine or Poe’s. Our place is your second home. Most people in the building will be gone tonight and procrastinating their work.__

__Rey Johnson  
_2:35 p.m: I will see what I can do. Somebody would have to pick me up.__ _

___Finn  
_2:42 p.m: Just let me know when. I’ve got your back _____ _

_____Rey Johnson  
_2: 50 p.m: Thank you Finn__ _ _ _ _

_____Rey finished brushing her teeth and headed out the door, grabbing a sandwich she had made earlier for her shift. It was a nice walk during this time of year. In the winter, she would give a different story. Luckily, one of her friends would offer to drive her and pick her up. Finn and Rose would do that the most and it helped her not to freeze on her walk._ _ _ _ _

_____She regretted calling it nice weather 20 minutes into her walk. She was sweating, someone honked at her when she crossed on the green pedestrian light (heaven forbid they stop going 50 miles per hour on a turn), and a crosswalk ended without warning. Rey had never run so fast to the other side of the road before._ _ _ _ _

_____Even so, she got into work two minutes before her shift started._ _ _ _ _

_____Her boss was nowhere in sight._ _ _ _ _

_____Working at a bookstore had its ups and downs. There were days when they would only receive a few customers and other days when she had to stay late because a new popular book had just come out._ _ _ _ _

_____It was a slow day. By dinner, only three customers had walked in and one bought a couple of books. Unkar had arrived to work around 5:00 p.m, carrying a bag from a restaurant down the road. He ate it all and never offered Rey a bite._ _ _ _ _

_____Not that it mattered. She had at least packed a sandwich._ _ _ _ _

_____She had known Unkar since she was a child in a desert town of Arizona. He had moved to Chesapeake and offered her this job when he had learned she was coming to the same place to start university. The transition was a shock to Rey. Where she had been was hot and dry with a blazing sun. Her new home was green, changing seasons every few months, with plenty of students to meet and adventures awaiting._ _ _ _ _

_____Rey couldn’t complain about having a job. It was more than she had before. She barely remembered leaving England as a child. She did, however, remember her parents leaving her one night to never be seen or heard from again. No child should have to wake up and see his or her parents gone._ _ _ _ _

_____It was so kind of them to tell the owner of that rundown apartment, Unkar. She could relate to Cinderella ever since that day._ _ _ _ _

_____But even Cinderella was blessed parents who had loved her (not including her stepmother). Rey never knew the feeling._ _ _ _ _

_____Unkar’s voice broke her out of her spell. She was in the room behind the front counter._ _ _ _ _

_____She heard another familiar voice._ _ _ _ _

_____“Robert Cialdini. Do you have his book?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Silence._ _ _ _ _

_____“I’ll go look for it myself then.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Rey poked her head out the door. Professor Solo was walking to the other side of the store, searching for the name he mentioned._ _ _ _ _

_____Thank god it was her dinner break._ _ _ _ _

_____Running into any of the faculty outside of school was not high on Rey’s to-do list. Especially not when she had already seen him in his office to ask for help. Running into him would make her look like a stalker._ _ _ _ _

_____Though to be fair, _he_ was the one to walk into her walk. _ _ _ _ _

_____She heard his voice a few minutes later._ _ _ _ _

_____“It’s not here. Thank you,” he told Unkar before the door opened._ _ _ _ _

_____Rey came out from the back room._ _ _ _ _

_____“Customer?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Unkar grunted. “What do you think?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Sound like he didn’t find what he needed.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Some pretty boy who had people do all his reading for him. I take one look at people and I know who they are.”_ _ _ _ _

_____He didn’t know just how smart Professor Solo was._ _ _ _ _

_____A couple came into the store. Rey started to help them before the door opened again._ _ _ _ _

_____“You at least have Freud, don’t you?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Rey froze. He was back._ _ _ _ _

_____Maybe he wouldn’t see her. Unkar was back to the front, grumbling about young people not knowing how to even read without asking help from their phones._ _ _ _ _

_____Rey doubted Unkar even knew how to clean his own dishes._ _ _ _ _

_____“Who?” Unkar snarled at him._ _ _ _ _

_____“Sigmund Freud or Carl Jung. Any of those names sound familiar?”_ _ _ _ _

_____It was the same impatient tone she’d heard in class._ _ _ _ _

_____“The desert rat girl would know,” Unkar answered._ _ _ _ _

_____Rey stood frozen on the spot. She was going to have to stop hiding and eavesdropping now._ _ _ _ _

_____“The who?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Desert rat girl. I watched over her when she was a child.”_ _ _ _ _

_____That was putting it nicely. What he really meant was “I paid her a few dollars a week to help me with labor that included cleaning the apartments and addressing every maintenance request from tenants that were too angry or drunk half the time.”_ _ _ _ _

_____At least Unkar had let her stay in his run-down apartment when he left._ _ _ _ _

_____“I’m here,” she told her boss._ _ _ _ _

_____“Good. Then maybe you can help him,” Unkar shoved past her._ _ _ _ _

_____Rey was left alone with Professor Solo._ _ _ _ _

_____There was a moment of silence. He was dressed in all black today and holding a pile of papers in his hand._ _ _ _ _

_____“So um, Freud or Jung right?” She started to walk towards the aisles._ _ _ _ _

_____“You can report him, you know,” Professor Solo told her._ _ _ _ _

_____She stopped. “I can’t.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“You mean you won’t.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Rey turned around to look at him. “Despite everything, he did keep me from dying on the street. He owns this store. He might even let me have it one day,” she gave him a tight smile before going back. “Is there any book you’re looking for specifically or just anything with the name Freud or Jung?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“A book by either of them, hopefully.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Rey found the correct shelf. Professor Solo followed her. “Freud was all about sexuality right?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I prefer psychoanalysis.”_ _ _ _ _

_____His voice was close to her._ _ _ _ _

_____That wasn’t the reason Rey felt goosebumps on her neck. She spent another moment looking for the names._ _ _ _ _

_____“There!” She pulled something off the shelf. “Will this work?” she handed the book to him._ _ _ _ _

_____ An Outline of Psychoanalysis.  _ _ _ _ _

_____He studied it for a moment. “This will do just fine.” He opened the book and skimmed the pages._ _ _ _ _

_____“What exactly is a Freudian slip?” Rey asked him out of the blue._ _ _ _ _

_____He looked up at her, eyebrows raised._ _ _ _ _

_____What the hell had just come out of her mouth? She knew her face was getting as red as a human face could be, but it was too late to take it back._ _ _ _ _

_____Maybe she could laugh and say she was kidding?_ _ _ _ _

_____He cleared his throat. “It’s a,” he started scratching the back of his neck, looking as uncomfortable as she felt. What she wouldn’t give for the ground to open up and swallow her. “It’s the act of intentionally letting something come out of your mouth that you never wanted to. I’m sorry, I don’t know how to quite explain it to you properly.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Oh. Ok.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Our unconscious can reveal things about ourselves. It’s a slip of the tongue, if you will. Most people relate it to our id and…well,” he held up the book, “can I buy it now?” he asked, sounding like a child who was desperate to get out of a current situation._ _ _ _ _

_____Rey needed a distraction. “Oh! Yes of course. I’ll check you out.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shit._ _ _ _ _

_____Judging by the look on his face, she’d made a Freudian slip._ _ _ _ _

_____“I meant, check your book out so you can pay for it and go home,” _pull it together Rey!_ “Not that I’m kicking you out.”_ _ _ _ _

_____He put the book on the counter, paid, and walked out quickly._ _ _ _ _

_____“Dumb dumb dumb,” Rey muttered to herself._ _ _ _ _

_____She could wait for Monday at this point._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Unfortunately, Monday came fast. Which meant Rey was sitting at her desk for her first class of the day. Her essay had not been graded_ _ _ _ _

_____“I’ve graded a few essays that were turned in early. My TA Phasma is looking at the ones whose last names are in the A-L bracket.”_ _ _ _ _

_____That left out Rey’s last name. She hoped Phasma was a fair grader._ _ _ _ _

_____When Professor Solo turned his back to write on the board, Finn leaned over to Rey and slipped a paper into her bag._ _ _ _ _

_____Class was slow from then on. The school paper was in her hands the second she left the classroom._ _ _ _ _

_____**Sunny- I chose it. Takodana University is filled with lonely people who hide behind masks. It takes some strength to admit to a stranger that you would choose to be alone than in a room with strangers. I think you will find a gift in the bookstore that can help you- Kylo** _ _ _ _ _

_____Finn was listening as she read it out loud. “What does that mean? Does he want you to buy yourself a gift from the bookstore?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I hope not. I need to save money,” Rey read it again. What _did_ he mean? “I’m going to go find out before my next class. Walk me home after school?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Finn nodded before going his way._ _ _ _ _

_____The bookstore was still full of students and faculty in the second week of the semester. Rey walked through each row multiple times. Did he want her to buy a journal and write down her thoughts and feelings? That wasn’t something Rey was into doing so she hoped that wasn’t the case._ _ _ _ _

_____She was going to miss her 11:00 class if this kept on for too long. It was 10:50 when she spotted a white sheet by the get-well cards. She looked around before reaching over and pulling it out from its hiding place._ _ _ _ _

_____You’re not alone -K._ _ _ _ _

_____It was written in neat handwriting._ _ _ _ _

_____Was this what it was? K stood for Kylo but he had never told her what the gift from the bookstore was._ _ _ _ _

_____Rey was already late for her next class. It took at least 10 minutes from the bookstore to classroom. She quickly ran to the front doors of the building._ _ _ _ _

_____It was pouring rain._ _ _ _ _

_____She replayed the words over again in her head._ _ _ _ _

_____You’re not alone._ _ _ _ _

_____And yet she had been that way since her parents had packed their things and left her alone in the middle of the night._ _ _ _ _

_____She took out her sweatshirt from her bag (many classrooms in the summer were freezing) and slipped it on. Thankfully, this one had a hood to give her some cover._ _ _ _ _

_____Rey glanced down at the note clutched in her right hand._ _ _ _ _

_____What could she say to him?_ _ _ _ _

_____“You’re out here in the rain alone.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Professor Solo!” Rey put the note away into her bag. She would respond to Kylo Ren later._ _ _ _ _

_____“Have you forgotten where your next class is or are you enjoying the rain?”_ _ _ _ _

_____She looked up at him standing next to her._ _ _ _ _

_____“I know where my class is. Over by the library.”_ _ _ _ _

_____The corner of his mouth twitched upwards. “So go over there. Or were you looking to skip class today?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Rey looked at the buildings around them. “I worked too hard to get here, I wouldn’t miss a class.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I’ll see you on Monday then,” he started to walk back inside. “Oh, and Miss Johnson?” Rey turned around. “Phasma said she was impressed with your essay. Your grade will be up later today for you to see.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Professor Solo was gone before Rey could say anything else._ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did write the teaser, but I edited it a little (“walk me home?” was another part). I have not been to the nonfictional places I’ve listed and I made up the whole Takodana university. I was going to use Takodana and Jakku but I’d already said she was from England so that would mean half of the world is fictional and the other half isn’t. I’m from Virginia so I felt free to make up the university XD. 
> 
> You can find me as ishipalot on tumblr.
> 
> Chapters will start to get longer!


	5. A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm nice enough to update on my birthday :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the continued support as I write this!

**Neither are you**

Rey looked to the trash can filled with scratched out notes. This was the sixth letter and she was pleased with it.

The first note was the same as the one currently staring her in the face. Except she had added a question mark, questioning herself rather than her words. 

Rey snorted. She didn’t know anything about Kylo, let alone what he looked like, but she could already imagine the look on this strangers face as he read _Neither are you?_

“You need help,” Rey told herself. 

But she sure as shit was not about to ask anyone for it. Nobody knew about the note in the bookstore. Finn had asked what the gift was. Rey lied and told him she never found anything. 

It was one of the only times she had not been completely honest with her best friend. 

**Thank you** Bloody hell, Rey couldn’t begin to explain that note. 

At least, not if she wanted to keep speaking to him. And she did. She couldn’t explain why, but she felt excitement at having a secret that was only between her and a stranger. 

Or it could all come back to bite her in the end, if Kylo was anything like the movie she had seen with Rose and Connix before the semester. Split was a fantastic movie, but not one she’d want to be in in real life. Even if Kylo looked like James McAvoy. 

**I never said I was alone** That one alone had to be thrown away. It was too rude. 

**Me and thousands of other students** That was actually true. Rey had seen students from all walks of life. Those who were surrounded by friends all day long were the ones who could win a school presidency. 

And then there was Rey. Or at least those like her. She had friends but it was never always that way. Finn was the first friend she made. It was a few days after her 19th birthday and he had run past her. 

_Rey never claimed to know about human behavior. Perhaps that’s why she misinterpreted the scene of Finn running away from someone calling out for him. They never said his name, only “hey you!” Rey chased after him and eventually caught up to the point of knocking him down._

_That’s how they both met Poe._

_“What the hell?!” were the first words Finn ever said to Rey._

_“Where is it, thief?” She asked him between clenched teeth._

_“Thief??” Still trying to catch his breath, Finn looked behind him._

_Poe was catching up to them, carrying a stack of papers that had dropped out of Finn’s open backpack (he never forgot to close it after that)._

_“You dropped these,” Poe wasn’t even tired from running._

_“I’m Rey.”_

_Finn started rubbing his left arm, grimacing in pain. “Finn.”_

_“Poe.”_

_Finn looked at Rey. “You’ve got strength there, Rey.”_

_“I thought you had stolen from him,” she nodded her head to Poe. She reached her hand down to help Finn get on his feet._

_“I was late for class. That’s why I was running,” he stood back up and turned to Poe. “I’m sorry I didn’t hear you.”_

_Poe gave him a smile. “It’s not a problem.”_

Rey chuckled to herself at the memory, then looked back at the note on her bed. Her life had turned around since she moved for college. If anyone had told her that she would even have just one friend, she would have socked them in the face. That was a fantasy.

School was in a mean neighborhood, with dirty hallways in the buildings, and kids fighting in the courtyard for “fun” every break. Unkar never took her to the movies, never gave her a small allowance for all the hard work and scoffed at the idea that she had maybe made a friend. That friendship only lasted two days. Even to the others at school, she was a desert rat. It had hurt at the time but Rey eventually grew skin thick enough to pretend that she didn’t care about their opinions of her. 

Desert rat and Abandoned were the two she heard the most. 

“Nothing but work work work all the time.”

That was the first movie she had ever seen and it rang true. Rose had insisted she and Connix watch it with her the first night they met freshman year.

And now here she was, fretting over a note to a boy. As if they were writing secret love letters to fight their patents disapproval. Like a Romeo and Juliet. 

Rey had found that book when she snuck out one night to go dumpster diving. Unkar may have snored loud enough to shake a room, but damn if he didn’t sense Rey sneaking out. 

She needed to be outside after a long day of never ending work.

Even without movies, Rey knew stories. She found a big book of fairy tales that somebody had left outside, in a bag labeled “donations,” when she was just 6 years old. Ask her, and she would tell you some were too childlike. Know her, and anyone could see just how much she loved them. They were stories her parents could have read to her if fate had kept them there.

Rey felt like Cinderella when it came to housework; yet she always read the story of Beauty and the Beast when she opened her book.

_Why should I expect a happily-ever-after?_

She shook her head and opened up her computer to check her grades. Ever since Professor Solo told they were up, she’d been careful not to think too hard about what Phasma had written about her paper. 

B+ was staring her in the face. 

It wasn’t bad but with the amount of research and time put into it, Rey had been hoping for an A-. She couldn’t complain though. She clicked on the score to read Phasma’s comment. 

Well written. You had passion but it went a little off topic at times. 

That was true, Rey admitted to herself. Even Professor Solo had warned her of that. She wondered if he would read the essays that Phasma had graded. 

She had two days until she knew. The first thing she had to do in the morning would be to leave Kylo his note. 

Would he even know where to look? 

Where else could she leave it but in the same place? He would never find it unless she told him in the paper. And that would take nearly another week for him to see, by which time the note could be thrown out. 

Rey started on homework. She’d put it off long enough writing that thing anyway.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Is everyone feeling ok?”

Rey looked up from the design she was drawing for a class. That wasn’t Professor Solo’s voice, but Phasma’s. 

“Some of you just sound so _miserable_ in your papers. I’m asking, is everyone here feeling ok? Ben and I read so much about loneliness and sadness that, shit, now I’m feeling moody. Ben seemed more sympathetic though.” 

As if on cue, he walked into the classroom. 

“I believe you made your point Phasma,” he said, still wearing sunglasses and drinking from a starbucks cup. “Sorry I’m late. Thank you for holding down the fort.”

“Took you a while to get out of your bed, did it?” Phasma asked as she moved aside to let him turn on the computer. 

“I have more than one class,” he told her, taking off his sunglasses. 

Rey caught a sight of his ears that were covered by his hair. They were larger than normal, but endearing. She could just imagine kids calling him Dumbo as a child. 

Something she never would have said. 

“Phasma is right though,” Professor Solo said to the class as the screen turned on. There are a lot of people who sound as if they could use some good news. The class average for the papers was a B, so congratulations to everyone who scored in that range. Those who would like to argue their grades can come see me after class.”

Rey scored above the average. That alone made her morning bright. She’d made sure to leave the note for Kylo in the same place as she had the note from him. 

She didn’t stay to argue her grade with him. She did, however, notice Connor go up to try and complain. 

“I guess that was it for you and Kylo,” Finn said, nose to the paper. 

Rey kept her mouth shut.  


“No response from him to Sunny,” he continued skimming the pages. “Oh, come on!”

“What is it?”

“Homecoming week is early this year. First week of October.”

“If you’re talking about the Sapphire Ball, nobody will force you to go.”

“Are you going?”

Rey shook her head. The only activity she would be interested in going to was the fair on Saturday. There was a chance of finding handmade goods she could make use of.

“You say no now, but we both know Rose and Connix will try to convince you to go with them. And if they go, that means they’ll want Poe and I to come too. And that means, I will take you there myself.”

“Not if I say I’m sick.”

“Won’t work Sunny. I’ll see you at lunch ok?” he gave her a half-hug before going his way.

Rey made her way to the bookstore. 

Only as a child reading fairytale stories did she ever want to attend a ball, dressed her best with styled hair and makeup. Unkar would have of course helped her pick her glass slippers and corset. Rey snorted at the thought. 

She had seen how excited Rose was last year. Rey had just stayed in to watch the Mask of Zorro with Paige. Nothing like a vigilante in all black. Paige made remarks for half the movie over how attractive the leading stars were, with Rey nodding in agreement. 

The bookstore was nearly empty. Rey went to the right shelf and searched for a little piece of paper. 

**Stars in a dim sky. Crystals and sapphires and emeralds. Once a hunter, the lion becomes the hunted- KR**

Rey couldn’t even understand what he meant. It was nothing about what they had quickly spoken of. 

She felt her stomach drop as she realized this was meant for someone else. 

She made her way to her next class, leaving the note where it was. Why had she hoped he would write back?

Professor Binks was not the easiest man to listen to. His nasally voice topped with his quiet lurking as students worked was too much for one hour.

Rey left as soon as it was over.

Crystals and sapphires and emeralds. Whoever the note was for was showered in jewels. Stars in a dim sky… was Kylo seeing someone? Stars in a dim sky could be a reference to star gazing. On a date.

“Study chapter 3 on Mars and its climate. Come prepared to talk about it next period!”

Many students from the classroom that she was passing came pouring out. Rey waited to let them pass. She was in no hurry to the food court. 

She felt someone brush her shoulder in an attempt to run to their next period. 

“Sorry!” they called back.

Rey looked to the glass case next to her. Rocks and stones stared back at her. There was a nice ruby stone in the corner. 

And an emerald on the bottom shelf that Rey could only see if she crouched down.

_Emeralds…_

She took a few steps back and looked into the classroom the students had been in. It was dark, with an overhead showing stars and planets. 

Rey hurried back to the bookstore to look for the note again. This was taking up a lot of her time, going back and forth. 

It was gone. 

Now she wouldn’t even remember the last line. It was something about lions or tigers. 

She found the emerald and the stars. But where in the ever living hell was she going to find a tiger or a lion?

There were no statues of them and the school mascot was a jaguar. 

Maybe Kylo couldn’t tell the difference?

But no. Rey knew the difference between jaguars and a tiger/lion.

Rey Johnson  
_12:35 p.m: Finn, where would I find a tiger or a lion here?_

Finn  
_12:38 p.m: Are you feeling ok?_

Rey Johnson  
_12: 40 p.m: Where Finn?_

Finn  
_12:43 p.m: Since we’re not at the zoo, maybe in textbooks or biology class_

There had to be a biology class right near the astronomy and geology classes she had passed. 

Rey Johnson  
_12:45 p.m: Thank you Finn!_

Rey started to run back to the building. Why couldn’t Kylo have just stuck with the bookstore, or at least an adjacent building?

Maybe Kylo was a student himself. A science major. 

Rey tripped on the pavement, falling right on her ass in front of everyone. Just lovely. She looked around to see if anyone had noticed. A few people had, but nobody was saying anything. Not like as a child, where tripping and falling meant other students recreating the act for an entire week. 

“Are you ok?”

Rey looked up. 

“Professor Solo!” she stood up quickly. “No class?”

“Lunch and then office hours,” he told her, watching her collect herself. “I only have another class, but not until 4.”

Oh of course. She had seen him that one time in the food court. 

“Were you happy with your grade?”

Rey brushed off the grass from her jeans. “Yes, I was. Phasma wasn’t as difficult a grader as I was expecting.”

He bit his lip. "She seems to give off that impression, doesn't she?"

Rey stared at them. Oh, those lips. "Sometimes, yes."

A moment of silence passed between the two before Professor Solo cleared his throat. “Have a good day then, Miss Johnson,” Rey watched him walk away.

What was she supposed to be doing again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s funny because Rey will be a Disney princess if she marries Ben in the Episode 9. My heart won’t be able to handle it.
> 
> Does anyone know the movie just based on that “Work work work all the time” line? :D Our fandom has made a few Reylo connections to it before. 
> 
> Homecoming chapters soon!


	6. Slow Hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How can you not love Adam's lips? ;) Thank you so much for all the sweet comments! I was nervous when I first started this.

Rey ran into the bathroom. The science rooms could wait.

Of course there were other girls in there. She went into an empty stall and hung up her bag on the hanger of the door. 

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts and suppress a groan.

Did she just stare at Professor Solo’s lips? Even the scar was something to be admired. Poe did mention once how "chicks dig scars." Now that she would ever tell Poe he was right. 

Could anyone blame her for staring at his lips? They were full and red and just…

Rey wanted to look at them. She wanted to go see him and look at them for a whole hour. Why couldn’t class be tomorrow as well?

And why was she suddenly so hormone filled?

_Get ahold of yourself Rey._

She looked down at herself. She was in a stall, maybe she could just take a few minutes and reach down and just…

Rey quickly looked back up. 

_I need to have some lunch_

She unlocked the door and ran out. 

**Now we can talk. Here. Every day. I was worried you would stop writing me for a minute there.** She could deal with that. And hopefully eventually meet him. Even if he did end up a scrawny middle school kid visiting his dad every day. 

Which was unlikely. He talked as if he were older. 

“Earth to Rey. Come in Rey!”

A hand waved in front of her face.

“Sorry!” Rey looked at her tray. “Did you say something?”

Rose gave her an incredulous look. “For the past couple of minute. Are you feeling okay? You spaced out the whole time. Anyway, I was I was just mentioning to you how I saw that teacher of yours in line. I wasn’t even in the line at first but then I saw him and he just looked so good that I bought whatever this is on my tray.”

“Which teacher?”

This time, her friend sighed. “Ben Solo. Come on, keep up.”

This was not what Rey needed to hear. 

“So you don’t know what you’re eating?” She asked, in a hurry to change the subject. 

Rose picked up a piece and examined it. “Do you?”

Rey shook her head, quickly finishing her lunch before her next class and her shift at work. At least the topic of Ben Solo was dropped. 

 

“Anyone come in yet this afternoon?” Rey asked her boss as she clocked in at 6. 

Unkar grunted. “Two little kids with their mother and that punk bitch from the other day. The one you helped.”

“Very specific,” Rey said, dryly, as she started organizing the books Unkar couldn’t bother to do himself since the morning. 

“You know, the rich kid.”

“The one with the purple tips in her hair and a thousand dollar necklace or the boy with the mohawk that drove off in a Maserati?”

“No no,” Unkar waved her off. “The tall one with dark hair. The one looking for books on all those therapists.”

Rey couldn’t see to escape this.

“Professor Solo?”

“Hell if I know.”

She bit her lip, trying to suppress a smile. She didn’t even tell her boss that Freud and Jung were not therapists per se, but trying to explain the difference between a therapist and a psychologist to him would be like explaining algebra to a toddler.

It was too bad she had barely missed Ben Solo.

The shop was so quiet. Rey didn’t know how it had been staying afloat as long as it had. 

“Did you tell the so-called punk bitch that I wasn’t here?”

“He didn’t ask.”

Well not unexpected but still a little disappointing. 

Rey couldn’t pick out why she was having these thoughts. It wasn’t like she could disagree with Rose though. 

The night was so slow that she even managed to ger her homework done and write a bit to Kylo. It was unlike anything she had done, writing to someone she didn’t know, who likely went under a false name anyway.

She couldn’t wait to give it to him. 

It’s what led her to run to their “hiding” spot the next day. First thing in the morning. 

And it was a long note. One that she needed to rip out a whole page of notebook paper for. 

**Kylo- I am so sorry! I’m not the best with riddles so I hope I didn’t make you think I didn’t want to respond to you. What do you want to talk about? I don’t have a number or email for you so I am taking advantage of writing by sending you a page. We can talk about books, our classes, the place you want to go see someday, anything! Just tell me anything.**

Inside, she was hoping he’d give her something that would allow them to communicate more often.

Rose Tico  
_8:33 a.m: The list of homecoming activities for each day were listed on fliers around the school!_

Rey Johnson  
_8:36 a.m: Ok…_

Rose Tico  
_8:37 a.m: Oh please please come with us to something this year_

Rey Johnson  
_8:39 a.m: Like what?_

Rose Tico  
_8:41 a.m: The movie night or the Saturday fair_

Rey Johnson  
_8:43 a.m: I’ll go the fair._

Rose Tico  
_8:45 a.m: <3 We all figured you’d pick that one. It’s an hour long drive and it will be so fun! _

Rey Johnson  
_8:48 a.m: Only if Poe isn’t driving. His driving makes me sick._

Rose Tico  
_8:50 a.m: Kaydel it is then._

Now Rey was even curious what the activities were. She’d never bothered to pay attention the other years.

There was a flier near the offices of the engineering department. Rey waited until a few people finished reading before walking up and taking a look. 

Courtesy of Lando Calrissian, 

Tuesday, October the Third – Free pizza and barbecue wings for those in school colors.   
Wednesday, October the Fourth – Film Trivia, location TBD. Prizes and refreshments.   
Thursday, October the Fifth – Movie Night. Vote Online from September 22 until September 30.   
Friday, October the Sixth – Sapphire Ball.   
Saturday, October the Seventh- Parade in the morning (depending on weather), Takodana Versus First Order, county-wide school fair in the evening. 

That…didn’t sound too bad actually. At least there was free lunch on Tuesday. 

She knew Finn and Poe would be at the trivia night. Rose and Kaydel would likely participate in everything. 

This might be good for her. Finn was usually trying to get her to participate more in social activities. 

“Hey.” 

A hard single knock on the door made Ben jump. “What do you want Hux?” 

“Do you ever answer your phone?” 

Ben looked at his desk phone. He did answer. He was just particular sometimes about who and Hux wasn’t at the top of the list. 

He held up the work he was grading. “I’ve been busy, so what is it? Are students asking questions you don’t know the answer to?” 

Hux sneered. “Clever Solo. You do have a little bit of your father in you.” 

“Get out of my office until you remember the reason you’re here.” 

“Calm down, I do have a reason for being here. I spoke with Phasma about a small miscommunication, shall we call it, that happened right before the semester started.” 

“Did you now?” 

Hux put his hands on the desk, face turning red. “Next time you want to misrepresent the school by getting into a bar fight, choose one a little further away.” 

Ben took a deep breath, knuckles shaking from how hard he was holding the papers. “Very few people from school saw it. See this?” He pointed to the long scar on the right side of his face that went to his shoulders. The fight happened after he took a piece of glass to my face. I have a good scar on my chest too, before you say it was all my fault." 

“Well let’s avoid the bad publicity, Solo. I paid the local paper in time, but your name alone might cause reporters to come here.” 

Ah yes. If anyone ever did their research, they might possibly make the connection between Ben Solo and his father Han Solo, world-famous thief with a heart of gold. 

Fortunately, nobody in the school cared or was smart enough to do a little research. Especially with his mother being a previous freedom fighter. 

Leia Organa had been raised in a wealthy family. She and Han loved each other deeply, despite separating and getting back together at least five times when Ben was growing up. He’d suffered headache after headache when he listened to their arguing. 

Each of them had a good set of lungs. 

“Understood Hux. Now if you don’t mine,” he motioned to his work. 

The other man stiffened. “Of course.” 

And with that he was gone. 

Ben looked at his door for a few more seconds before pulling a sheet of paper out. He reread it several times, making sure what he was seeing was correct. 

Somebody wanted to know him. He wasn’t about to send out his personal or work number. And creating an email with the name Kylo Ren was too much work just for a conversation that he expected would last, at most, two weeks. 

**Sunny- I enjoy using those riddles. If anyone else had found them, they would have no clue what it was about. Of course, that would risk it being thrown away. How about you tell me about a place you would love to see one day? I can start by telling you that I want to see the Greek islands or Japan in the next five years. Have you been?**

Satisfied with his answer, he folded up the paper and put it into a folder. 

He was walking back when a thought came to him. 

Would Sunny be there waiting? He didn’t even know what she (he was guessing it was a girl) looked like. 

Ben prayed she wasn’t in his classes. Though he’d made sure to make his writing more neat in the letters just to be safe. 

With his luck though, Phasma was messing with him. She knew about him being Kylo Ren and could have cared less. 

Hux knew. He’d only wrinkled his nose and told him to find a new hobby. 

This wasn’t a hobby. 

This was…amusement. 

Most recently had been the time Mitaka was foolish enough to use his own name when writing to Kylo Ren. 

Ben could only smirk. Mitaka had put in the effort to complain about his previous employer, headmaster Snoke at First Order University, where Ben had graduated from almost 10 years ago. 

It was all too tempting to send that message to his previous headmaster, but he’d respected the privacy and kept it to himself. 

And now their school was playing football against them 

Ben made his way to the science rooms. There were students around, minding their own business. It only took him one student to make eye contact with. She looked back down at her work after she gave him a quick smile. 

He didn’t recognize her. 

But it made him paranoid enough to walk a few extra steps, look back to see if she was looking again (she wasn’t), and then go and drop the note off. 

Ben shook his head in disbelief. This is what his life was going to be from now on- writing notes to Sunny like a teenager or Disney character locked in a tower. Maybe Hux was right. He needed to focus on work and his students. After all, he didn’t even know her and she could never want to know someone like him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone outside the U.S, football is American Football to you XD
> 
> Yes, I made Lando in charge lol. Sorry for the delay. Moved into a new place and didn’t have wireless internet for a while there. 
> 
> I can’t wait to write the homecoming chapters. Hope you’re excited too!


	7. Take My Breath Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what- I might be able to get 2 more chapters in before my wedding instead of just 1 :D Working on the next one already.
> 
> All mistakes are mine. My fiancee keeps coming near me so I have to hide my Reylo obsession in a hurry.

The next two weeks went by before Rey could blink. She had spoken to Kylo several times a day. He’d still been refusing to give her an email or a phone number. It was a bit annoying having to wait so long between letters, but it did seem like old classic route. This was how people communicated before email and texts. 

Rey hadn’t even had an email before coming to university. Unkar didn’t pay for luxuries like internet or television. 

She reread Kylo’s note for the hundredth time since coming to school early to get it before class. 

When they first started writing, he had told her he wanted to see Japan and the Greek islands. She didn’t admit to being so isolated as a child and youth, but she told him she’d love to visit Scotland and New York. 

She learned about Kylo through the writing. He was an only child, had grown up watching more movies than Rey could count, took martial arts classes as a teen and young adult (he only told her he was between 25-39), and admitted to having broken several bones growing up. The last time he was in a cast was two years ago. 

Today, she didn’t know how to respond.

They had talked about the homecoming week that was starting soon. He asked if she was going to any of the activities. She told him she was going to the fair. Rose had convinced her last week to also go to the movie night. 

She had told Kylo this when she left school. 

And now she was staring at his answer. 

**Sunny, have you voted for the movie choices? If you do want to go, maybe we could go together. If you’re not comfortable with that, we can meet there. It’s outdoors on the lawn. It’s an idea.**

The choices were Remember the Titans, The Others, Space Jam, Sing Street, and Arrival. 

The rules were no R rated and nothing longer than 2 hours. “People have to study” was what Lando Calrissian said. 

Rey had heard of a few of the movies when she asked Finn and Poe. They had her watch Arrival that night. 

She wanted to go. But she wanted to know who he was first. 

Taking out a pen, Rey began to write. 

**Kylo, is there any chance of meeting you first? I want to be able to recognize you if I say yes to spending the evening with you next Thursday. Please?**

She dropped it off and went to class. 

Whatever work she had turned in online was not the best. Weight lifting on Thursday left her muscles score until Saturday evening. 

And Unkar had not been kind about it. 

“You’re too skinny!” he would say.

Which wasn’t entirely true, since she had put on a few pounds since moving out. She wasn’t as scrawny as she was as a child. 

Her teacher that day had just been relentless. 

At least Mr. Binks would likely put her to sleep. Either that, or he’d keep her awake with his quiet creeping around. 

Her grades were good this semester. Even with all the tough training for weight lifting one hour a week, she had an A in the class. Civil Engineering with Mr. Banks was an A, Psychology with Professor Solo was a A-, and her fourth class was a B+.

Rey was proud of herself. 

She’d barely managed to get her homework done in time. Maybe she shouldn’t have spent so long writing to Kylo. Or figuring out what to write. 

And her psychology class had dumped a lot of work the past week. Why was she trying to hard for a class she signed up for just to fill up her credit hours?

Maybe the answer is in the black hair, full lips, and facial scar. 

It could’ve just been because the subject was interesting. Even Finn was enjoying it more than he thought. 

“Did everyone turn in their work?”

It was quite common for Professor Solo not to start the class with a “Hello. How is everyone doing?” He was very different from some of the previous instructors who spent 10 minutes talking about their weekend.

There were murmurs of yes.

“Let me ask again. Did anyone turn it before five minutes to midnight?” 

“Six minutes!” someone called out.

“Impressive,” Professor Solo said dryly. "You’re ahead of your peers by one whole minute. Anyone else do it much earlier?”

Finn raised his hand. This was suddenly becoming a competition. “I turned it in around 11 p.m. Is that better?”

“Better than 11:54.”

Rey didn’t say anything. Hers was turned in earlier in the afternoon but she didn't want to seem like she was trying too hard. 

She didn’t ask any questions that day. She took notes, occasionally got distracted by Finn making faces at her, and by Professor Solo’s hand motions. 

Everything about him was so big. His hands, his lips (though not overly big, just right), his height…

Rey blushed.

Oh god, her mind should not have gone where it just did. Not that she had much experience in that department. One person her freshman year did not count. Rey had craved touch and affection and she thought that’s what she could have. Not a piece of garbage who only looked for the first person in his sight. 

“Rey, you ready?” Finn was standing up, waiting for her. 

She looked at the clock. Class was over.

“Miss Johnson, do you have a second?” 

Rey turned to see Professor Solo looking at her since the beginning of class. Not that she was looking for it.

“I’ll be right there Finn,” she told her friend.

Finn went out the class. 

I was wondering if you have any copies of these books at your store,” he sent her a printed list. “I know you won’t know off the top of your head so whenever you have a chance to look, that will really help. If you don’t have any of these, just send me an email.”

Rey took the list from him. She knew they had one (or at least she believed they did), but she would have to check for the others. 

“I can check tonight when I work,” she told him. 

“Sounds good.”

“I’ll know before I’m off work,” Rey blurted out. “You can come by around 7. It really doesn’t take too long to look it up.”

There was a moment of awkward silence.

Had she overstepped her boundaries?

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I’ll look it up tonight and let you know.” She could swear there was a dash of pink on his cheeks. No doubt her cheeks were ten times darker. 

Professor Solo waved her off, turning to whatever was on his desk. “That’s all right. I can come by, but only for a few minutes. That way if you do have them, I can buy them right there without waiting. I have a lot of work tonight so I do mean a few minutes. It’s nothing against you personally.”

Rey gave him a nod. “Understood.”

Another moment of silence passed before he glanced at her and then to the door. She got the message and left. 

 

There was nothing to wear. 

No, that wasn’t true. Rey had the necessities, but she wanted something else to wear to work so she wouldn’t have to go in the clothes she’d been sweating in all day. And Rose and Kaydel were both much shorter than her. A regular t-shirt for them would be a croptop on her.

T-shirt and jeans it was. 

Even if it was the shirt Finn and Poe “gifted” to her. 

_Once in a while someone amazing comes along…and here I am._

It was so cheesy but it was the first gift she had gotten for Christmas. Finn and Poe gave it to her their freshman year. Rose had made a scarf for her and Kaydel wrote sweet notes about all the positives attributes she believed Rey had. Her friends reminded her that she had people like them in her life. And for that, she was grateful. 

“Do you need a ride?” Kaydel asked as she worked on homework. 

“Oh!” Rey stopped to look at the clock in the kitchen clock. “Sure! If you can, we leave in about 10 minutes.”

“All you have to do is ask,” Kaydel assured her. 

When she arrived at work, Rey thanked her friend and went inside. There was only one person looking around, so she took the opportunity to look in the computer. She was really trying too hard to be a people pleaser. At least she could make people happy, since she never made Unkar happy with her.

“Aha!” She wrote the ones they had in stock on a piece of paper. It was impressive that they even had a single one. 

It was almost 8 o’clock (but who was counting?) by the time Professor Solo came by. He looked like he’d run a marathon. He’d obviously been racing through grading by the looks of it. Sweat was coming from his hair and down his face, making his hair stick to his forehead. Rey stopped herself just in time before she could push the hair off his forehead.

“I don’t wear my work clothes all day,” he said, noticing how she looked at his all-black outfit. 

“Wearing all black when it’s still warm out makes much more sense.”

Rey would swear on her grave that his lips twitched as if he was trying not to smile. “Nice shirt, Miss Johnson.”

“Rey’s fine,” she muttered. “We’re not in school.”

He’d heard her. “Ok Rey, did you find anything?”

She held up the sheet of paper she was holding and grinned. “Three! But one isn’t here because we just sold it a week ago and inventory won’t be updated until this weekend when it’s the end of the month.”

He motioned towards the shelves. “Show me.”

What should have been a few minutes led to over 10 minutes, as he hung out at the counter with her. They talked about the best place to eat at the school food court, the time the power went out at school for nearly an hour last year, and the homecoming activities. Rey couldn’t remember the last time she’d had so much fun at work. Even Unkar didn’t interrupt them. 

Professor Solo looked at his watch. “I should get going. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take you away from work for so long.”

“You never did say if you’re going to any of the events next week,” Rey told him.

He shrugged. “As faculty, I have to attend most of them. Free lunch is nothing that people have to go and I’ll probably be too busy in my office doing work anyway. Saturday I’ll be there with everyone all day though.”

“What about Thursday and Friday?”

He chuckled. “What would I be doing at a homecoming dance?”

“Sponsoring?”

This time he laughed. And it was one of the most beautiful sounds Rey had ever heard. 

“Sorry Rey but that won’t be happening.”

“And the movie night? Not the trivia but the movie night. I think faculty, staff, and students would love to go to that.”

“Oh sure,” he said, nonchalantly. “I think I will go to that. I already asked somebody to go with me so I’m sure she and I will be there.”

And just like that, Rey’s mood went down. Nevertheless, she put on a smile. “Oh, that’s great! I’m sure you’ll have fun. I can’t decide which movie to pick. I’ve only ever seen one of them from that selection.”

Professor Solo’s eyebrows shot up. “Just one? I’ve seen all of the ones they chose. There are two I haven’t seen in years though”

“That’s awesome. Let me ring up your books so you can be on your way,” she rang the books up. He paid and stared at her for a few seconds before she made eye contact. “I’ll see you in class Professor Solo.”

“Ben’s fine. We’re not in school,” he quoted her back to her. “I’ll see you next class,” the bell rang as he stepped out to his, surprise, black car. 

Rey clenched her knees together. 

“Unkar, could you take the counter for me? I have to use the bathroom.” 

Her boss merely grunted as he slugged to the desk. Rey waited for him to get there before she went to the employee restroom. 

Rey begged for forgiveness from Ben’s movie date before pressing her hand to the top of her jeans. She bit her lip to keep from making any sounds. She needed pressure and relief. Leaning her head back on the wall, she closed her eyes. 

And outside, Ben Solo sat in his car and looked to the door he just walked out of. He’d gone into his car after work and quickly hid the note he’d carelessly left on his passenger seat earlier during lunch. The idea of him sponsoring a college homecoming dance still had him laughing quietly to himself. 

He had a meet to schedule. He just prayed Sunny wouldn’t want them to make an appearance at the dance. He got the impression that wasn’t her scene. 

But then he remembered the conversation. 

_“Oh, that’s great! I’m sure you’ll have fun.”_

Rey had that look in her eyes. From the first day of class. When she lied right to his face about a memory. He’d played along for the sake of the others in the room. 

He shook his head. Now wasn’t the time to be imagining what wasn’t there. Ben considered himself good at reading people but Miss Johnson, or Rey, was proving a little more difficult than he expected. He’d already gotten a read on half his students in all classes. The ones who never spoke were a little harder to get. 

But about the meet…

Just about everyone liked ice cream. Ben grabbed a paper from his glove compartment and smoothed it out on his steering wheel. Writing on a steering wheel was not the easiest thing in the world. 

Movie would be too intimidating. What would they do with their hands if they can’t hold them? There was always a popcorn box to put your hands on…

And he and Sunny would never be able to talk, which would really be unfortunate.

So ice cream or frozen yogurt. Even his Uncle “Wando” would be happy about it. If for the fact that Ben was even going out. 

**Sunny- are you lactose intolerant? I know a great place a few miles from here. I can meet you there on a crowded night so you feel safe.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might troll you all a little more. It’s a slow burn after all! But there will be juice in between because I too am a thirsty Reylo.


	8. Waiting for a Girl like you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homecoming week! Or the start of it….  
> Just something to hold over. I hope to update again before the 28th.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm busy this week with my wedding so hopefully this turned out ok!

Three times. 

Three times Rey had attempted to get herself off without any help since the day at the store. It was almost comical. Wednesday’s class was torture. Rey could only think that someone else was going to know those lips. Someone else would look into those eyes and see widened pupils staring back at them. It was quite pathetic that she had developed a small crush all because she’d gotten a closer look at him when she fell in front of everyone. And then she’d remembered the way he looked at her the first day. 

It was almost like hunger staring back at her. “Ah, you do.” The way he looked at her and spoke was as if they were the only ones there. 

Ben Solo was a mystery. Sarcastic, sweet, irritated. He’d displayed them all and she liked seeing his range of emotions. 

And now it was Saturday again. And it was dead at work. 

“I want to talk to you,” Unkar told her in between bites of his sandwich. Rey sat down across from him once someone left. “I’ll be taking Saturdays off after next week, starting after lunch. You’ll have to be here the rest of those hours.”

That meant from 12 until 9. That wasn’t so bad in Rey’s mind. It meant extra money for school and rent. 

“I will if you let me do my homework when there’s nobody here and if you put a small tv.”

“You already do your homework.”

“Without you giving me shi* about it, I don’t,” she replied defensively. “And about a small tv-”

Unkar threw his hands up in the air. “Alright enough. I’ll agree to both conditions. Just don’t make me hire anyone else.”

“I’ll do my best not to do that,” she promised him. 

After all she had a “date” tonight. Or whatever it was called. She had agreed to meet Kylo for ice cream, praying at the same time he wasn’t a wanted predator or as disgusting as Unkar. At least he wasn’t super old, being between the ages of 25-39. The last thing she’d be comfortable with were odd stares from strangers thinking she had daddy issues. 

If she told Unkar she had somewhere to be after (let alone a date), he would keep her working until 10:00 p.m. He’d already looked at her suspiciously when she said she was leaving half an hour early tonight. 

Finn even lent her his car. Rey had a license and could drive, she just couldn’t afford to buy a car at the moment. 

“Please don’t let anything happen to it,” Finn had begged her. “It’s probably illegal enough as it is, letting you drive it without being covered.”

The drive wasn’t going to be long. Rey had looked it up before going to work. It was a frozen yogurt place about 20 minutes away from their town and it was open until midnight. She had left a change of clothes in the car just in case. 

The time came to go before Rey even knew what was happening. She checked herself in the bathroom mirror and applied some light pink lip gloss. Kaydel was the best at makeup but she’d already lied to Finn about her plans. He had said he’d accompany her to the store but quickly changed his mind when she said it was Victorias Secret. It was the one place Finn wasn’t about to go into with her. If she had told that lie to Poe, he would have still agreed to go with her.

She just hoped Kylo didn’t mind her natural “desert rat” look as it were. 

Her palms started sweating on the drive over. Half the radio stations turned into ads so she turned it down after a bit. 

_What if he’s really good looking and expects a girl who would belong on a magazine cover or makeup ad? Oh go*, is he going to be shorter than me? What if he doesn’t even show up so he can brag to his friends a girl was so desperate and so touch starved that she’d driven out to meet him without seeing what he looked like?_

Her gps told her she was 6 minutes away. 

_He can’t be that bad right? What if he hides behind the paper because he doesn’t want people to see him. It would be like that movie. What was that opera movie with the man who wore a mask to cover half his face? I think Rose picked the movie that night….Yes, it was definitely Rose who picked it._

“Turn left.” 

Rey jumped at the sound of the gps interrupting her thoughts. It had been so quiet until then. 

“In half a mile, the destination is on your right.”

“Okay, I’m going!”

She saw the sign from the road. It was so crowded in the parking lot that she couldn’t even imagine what it was like inside. Finding a spot to park was next to impossible that it took her several minutes of searching and waiting for somebody to pull out of their spot. 

Rey’s eyes widened. She didn’t even know what kind of car he drove. And she hadn’t told him what to look for (she’d only asked Finn last night). 

She sat in her car for a minute. 

This was her first real date and it wasn’t even that. It was just her and Kylo getting to know each other and meet in person so she could decide if she wanted to go to that movie night with him. That’s when she looked down at herself.

Her tennis shoes were getting worn out (why hadn’t she brought her only pair of flats with her tonight?), the shirt she wore didn’t hug the curves that barely showed, her jeans were starting to fade, and the little bit of lip gloss only brought out a slight tint of color to her lips. Though her lips were naturally darker anyway. It still made her look at the other girls walking around the parking lot and small shopping area. Body-hugging shirts or dresses, hair perfectly straightened or curled, and make-up that made their eyes or lips stand out. 

Kylo would prefer them either way. 

She was going to mess things up again. 

9:03. She was late as it was and they didn’t have each other’s numbers. He wasn’t going to like what he would see. Her nerves took over and the wall of defense came up. 

She couldn’t do this. 

 

9:10.

And he was already getting a headache from the idiots at the table next to his. 

Sure, he had a work number and a personal cell number. But it wasn’t so simple. He didn’t want to hand his personal number out to a stranger that could very well turn out to be a lunatic set on stalking him once she found out who his family was. 

What if something bad had happened to her? 

Or, he thought bitterly, it’s the same as it’s always been. 

“Uncle” Lando would be proud of him. Mostly for the fact that he was having one-on-one time with a girl about something not work related. 

Ben felt relieved that he hadn’t told anyone what his plans were tonight. One of the few perks of living by yourself and rarely contacting your family. It wasn’t that he hated his parents, he just wasn’t very close to them. 

This was also why he didn’t go out much. People flaked out and then he never heard from then again and now he was sure the stares he was getting were because of the scar that went down to his shoulders. 

_Like that dumbass choking from his overflow of gummi bears could survive a bar fight,_ Ben smirked to himself as the boy learned what happened when you put too much in your mouth at once. He knew the Heimlich maneuver just fine, but he wasn’t wasting that talent on an imbecile. 

Ben looked at his watch. 9:13. 

Well Sunny was a no show. What a surprise though. 

Not really. 

Ben stood up and walked back to his car. At least he had more time to prepare his lessons for next week. 

He guessed movie night was off. 

The writing was fun while it lasted. 

 

Rey walked right to the hiding spot on Monday morning. There was no note from Kylo. 

That wasn’t a surprise though. While what she had done was understandable, it was also bit**y. She should be the one to tell Kylo why she hadn’t shown up. If he would even want to talk to her now. 

Rey sighed. No harm in trying, right?

**Kylo, I want to apologize for Saturday night. I was scared. That’s it. I wasn’t sure what you looked like (I know, that’s not the most important thing in the world) or expect. What color shirt or just what you look like in general, or even if you’d be interested in talking to me more. And I saw the people who were in there and just thought you wouldn’t want to meet me, of all people. I have brown hair and I’m a little taller than average. I’ve also been told I’m pretty thin. It’s very rare guys even show interest. What about you?**

Rey wondered how long it would take before he responded. 

Finn was absent that day from class. Students were chatting a lot because it was finally the week of homecoming. 

And Professor Solo had turned into the live version of a grumpy cat.

One girl was talking to him when Rey walked in. 

“I just don’t understand why it wasn’t graded higher,” if Rey remembered correctly, this was Sarah. 

Finn lovingly referred to her as the girl who thought showing skin would get her better grades. Instead of doing it the normal way of studying and hard work. 

Professor Solo, Ben, pursed his lips and held up the work they were referencing. “You think not doing anything is going to get you an A? Were you raised to be entitled and expect good things without any effort?”

“But-“

“Learn the difference between then and than, for starters. And don’t forget to write down the correct course number. This is Psychology 101, not Psychology 1000. And read over everything in red, you’ll see what went wrong.”

Sarah huffed and sat down in a seat that was not in the front row. 

Professor Solo slapped down some papers onto his desk. Hard. “So who remembered to keep track of the syllabus and remember we have a quiz on Wednesday?”

There were a few groans.

“Wednesday? Does it have to be this week?” someone called out. 

“Well I could make it for Monday and you can fail because you were too busy partying all week,” came the reply in a form of something that resembled a snarl.

Everyone shrunk into their seats. 

Finn  
_9:03 a.m: Wow. He’s Santa Claus today._

Unfortunately, she’d forgotten to turn her phone off vibrate. And a vibrating phone on a desk is _very_ loud. 

“Either put your phones away or put them on silent. I remember saying that at the beginning of the year,” Professor Solo made sure to look at her. “Or we can all read each other’s texts out loud. How does that sound?”

Rey kept eye contact with him as she put her phone on silent and into her backpack. Finn was right though. Professor Solo was being a grouch this morning.

She didn’t say a word the whole period. 

They went over material that could be on the quiz and over a project that was going to be due the end of November. The project didn’t sound too bad. It was an individual assignment that didn’t require speaking in front of the class.

It wasn’t the best Monday though. Rey went to work after talking to Rose and Kaydel. They were trying their hardest to get her to go to the dance on Friday. They even offered to go dress shopping with her.

“I don’t have money to spend on a fancy dress,” Rey had told them. 

Rose and Kaydel only looked at each other after that. 

Now it was nearly closing time at the store. Rey heard the bell ring and saw four people walk in at once. Actually, it was more like fighting over who would walk in first and shoving each other as they did so. 

Rose, Kaydel, Finn, and Poe. 

“What are you doing here?” Rey asked them. 

Rose held up an envelope as the others smiled proudly. 

“We wanted you to come with us badly enough to ask the boys to contribute,” Rose started telling her. “It’s a gift from all of us. Open it,” without warning, she held the envelope an inch away from Rey’s face. 

Rey could see what it was without even opening it.

“You didn’t,” she looked at all of them

“We did,” Finn responded. “Look, we know you didn’t want to go but you don’t even have to do anything. One of us will hang outside with you if you want. Plus, I will admit now I saw that book hidden in your room so I thought you should have a dress like that.”

“Finn!” Rey hissed. She knew which book he meant. Her childhood book. 

“Rose and I will help you with whatever you need. We want you to have a fun time too,” Kaydel assured her.

Rey looked around the room and smiled at the most amazing people in the world. She offered them a smile. “Thanks guys. This means a lot to me,” she held up the envelope and they embraced each other in one giant hug. “Now get out! I have to close up,” she said with a joking tone. 

“We came in one car so it might be a little crowded in the back,” Poe winked. “If you ladies don’t mind squeezing in together.”

Rose gave him a light shove as they walked out the door. 

 

Rey didn’t mind all the craziness at school the next day. The first day of homecoming had begun. She’d actually worn the school colors that day (for free lunch)- purple and black. So of course when she was able to, she went to the food court and stood in line for the free lunch. It was already packed. 

The biggest surprise came when she was finally out of the line.

A note from Kylo. 

**Seeing how you were so vague, I will be too. I have dark hair and I am told all the time that I’m tall. I don’t know why you would not want me to meet you. It should be the other way around. I don’t blend in with the jocks and the popular crowd- K.**

She ate her pizza and wings sitting down, the note in her hand. His description was vague as hers had been. At least it took out a couple hundred guys, the ones with the lighter hair. And it took out maybe a couple thousand, depending on Kylo's definition of tall. It did seem like he had a lot of people mention his height so Rey estimated he was around 6 feet tall. 

She took a bite and reread the note.

Rey’s face was starting to hurt from all the smiling she’d been doing in the past 12 hours. Everything with Kylo was going to be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for trolling you all! If it makes you feel better, longer hours without Unkar at the bookstore is mentioned for a reason ;)


	9. Save Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaack! Sorry if this chapter is poorly written or rushed. The week before the wedding was crazy and then we got back from the honeymoon late last sunday night and then right back to work. And then our internet struggled :D

**Did you get any pizza or wings? They were so good that you missed out if you didn’t because I was able to have enough for two meals. I am happy to hear you don’t blend in with the popular crowd. Neither do I actually. You wouldn’t be able to pick me out of a crowd. So… which choice won for movie night this week?**

Rey put her pen down. She already knew what Kylo would say, that it was all up to her now. After all, she was the one to run from him when he waited inside for her to show. She really should make it up to him somehow. 

She snorted.

_Yeah pizza and barbecue wings really would have done the trick Rey._

She really should invite him to the movie night. It was public, she could leave her friends without them wasting all that time looking for her in a large space, and there would be a movie that she’d never seen before. 

Or…

She could ditch the night and go somewhere else with Kylo once she knew he was not a creep. 

_Rey, stop it! Stop imagining things that aren’t going to happen. Do some homework and be productive. Stop thinking about people that you don’t know well. Which includes more than one at times._

There was one thing she could do. There was almost room for improvement in all her classes. 

And this class wasn’t taught by Mr. Binks. 

Rey walked over to the office door, taking a deep breath. Phasma was nowhere in sight so nobody saw her walking over. 

She held her hand up to knock. 

“Snoke is looking forward to seeing you,” she heard a drawling voice. Rey crawled under a nearby table. 

“I can imagine he is,” now that voice Rey knew. “What I don’t know and what I ask myself, is why you ever came here to this place. Didn’t want to be Snoke’s little errand boy?”

“Errand boy?” the other man hissed. “With your temper tantrums being what they are, I had to clean after you more times than I could count.”

“Did that sound better in your head than errand boy?” Professor Solo, Ben, taunt of the other man made Rey smile. 

“Did Phasma forget to do your work for you?”

“Did Snoke forget to tuck you into your and give you a blanket?”

 

“Just,” the other man took a deep breath, “don’t make a scene on Saturday. No publicity is better than bad publicity. Hide the hate behind that mask you put on.”

Rey shuffled in her hiding spot as quietly as she could and tried to hide another smile. Why did the news of Professor Solo coming to the school fair on Saturday make her happy? In a crowd of thousands, she had a better chance of running into Daffy Duck (she wasn’t completely clueless about pop culture) than Ben Solo. 

It was quiet, as the other man had left. 

Rey stayed where she was, waiting until it was completely empty. She closed her eyes and listened. 

Silence. 

Maybe he walked away and never even went into his office. 

“Wake up, Snow White,” and there it was. That deep soothing voice. 

_Oh shit_. Rey’s eyes flew open and she looked to her right where he was standing. There was nobody else around but he just smiled at the sight of her lying down, trying to hide from him. 

“Snow White?” She repeated, eyes browsed. 

“Yes. Don’t ask me how I know this, but the one with black hair, skin as white as snow.”

“I know who she is,” Rey lay there for another moment before rising to her feet. But if I was Snow White then you would have to be…” she closed her mouth before anything came out. “Never mind.”

“I would have to be what?” he looked down to look into her eyes. 

“I’ve never seen the movie,” Rey looked away. 

“But you know the story.”

“Everyone knows the story. I bet even you do.”

“So are you saying I’m one of the dwarves or the wicked queen?”

That wasn’t quite what she meant. There was only one person who was able to peer down at Snow White while she was asleep. With hair as dark as Professor Solo’s. 

“It sounds like somebody is making you go to Saturday’s event,” Rey’s face went red. “Not that I was eavesdropping.”

“I don’t like being near a lot of people and I will spend the whole day being there because I have to represent the school. All this just because I’ve been calling somebody Uncle since I was a toddler.”

“Uncle?”

He paused. “You know what? Forget about it. Is there a reason why you were hiding by my office?” 

“No!” Rey answered a little too quickly. “I was walking off my lunch. They’re serving those pizza and barbecue wings, you know.”

“I thought you were an engineering major. Why would you walk it off here?”

“I was meeting a friend here. Actually, let me text him right now to see where he’s at,” pulling out her phone and trying not to look guilty as hell, Rey started typing out a message to Finn. She’d explain it to him later. Right now Professor Solo (she guessed it was only Ben outside of school) was trying to hide his amusement. 

Rey Johnson  
_1:28 p.m: Hey are you coming or not?_

The response was almost immediate. 

Finn  
_1:29 p.m: TF??_

Rey Johnson  
_1:29 p.m: Don’t ask._

“So he’s about 10 minutes away,” Rey put her phone back in her pocket. He was just hoping to finish his food first.” 

Professor Solo cocked his head to the side. “Don’t you two have lunch together though? I always see you with the same group of people. You’re attached to Finn at the hip if he’s the one I’m thinking of.”

Rey blushed. How long had he noticed that? “He’s a close friend is all.”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I thought he was your boyfriend.”

Rey snorted. “Finn is complicated in his interests. There’s Rose and sometimes I think he likes Poe too, but not me. Maybe Finn did like me at one point but I never reciprocated. I was never around strong or healthy relationships.”

“I know the feeling,” Professor Solo said, so quietly that Rey thought she misheard. He spoke up again. “Go ahead and see your friend Miss Johnson. I think you’ve kept him waiting long enough.”

Rey waited until he had gone into his office until she pulled her phone back out. 

2 missed calls from Finn and 1 text.

Finn  
_1:32 p.m: Rey, are you ok? Do you need me to call the police?_

Rey Johnson  
_1:34 p.m: I’m all right Finn. I was just caught in an awkward situation and was looking for an excuse to not be that way. Thanks though <3 _

Finn  
_1:36 p.m: Tell me later._

At the end of the day, Rose and Kaydel ran up to her with the money they had shown her the other day. Rey sighed and drove with them to the store. It took well over three hours. Three hours that Rey could have spent doing productive schoolwork. Instead, she was dragged from store to store trying on shoes and dresses for what feels like an eternity. All she wanted to do was lie down and put her feet up. 

“Fine,” Rey gave up after four stores and 11 dresses. “Let’s just pick one and get this over with so I can go home and do my homework so I’m not awake until two in the morning.”

The one she bought was a deep purple (Kaydel told her it was eggplant but Rey didn’t know the difference) that went to the floor, with square neck cut and a chiffon overlay that went to her elbows. Without the overlay, the dress was strapless. 

Finally she had something and she could go home. Dress shopping with her friends was as exhausting as being around Unkar. 

“Are you coming to the trivia night?” Kaydel asked both Rose and Rey, who shook their heads. “Then I’ll go and represent all three of us. Someone needs to kick Poe’s arrogant ass.”

Rey was up late that night, as she expected to be. Her work wasn’t finished until about 1 a.m and she collapsed on her bed with a notebook at her feet. It took her 10 minutes just to wake up after her alarm went off. 

She’d forgotten about the quiz until midnight last night. And she had not checked to see if Kylo had responded back to her. What if somebody had found the note and taken it or Kylo himself didn’t think she cared to write back so he took it?

There was a lot of chatter in the room about the homecoming night. One question Rey had for Kylo was answered. The movie that was chosen was Remember the Titans. Girls were showing each other pictures of their homecoming dress and another student sitting near Rey and Finn had a sheet of paper on everything that was included at the fair on Saturday. 

“May I see that?” Rey asked the student.

He handed it to her. 

Finn peered over her shoulder. 

Takodana versus First Order was thankfully not a long sports game. It was actually some sort of foot eating contest that was bound to make somebody sick. 

“It’s for students and faculty and staff members,” Finn told her. “Rey, there it is. Design the pie and throw it at your teacher. Now I hope Professor Hux is there.”

Rey rolled her eyes. Of course Finn would take joy in throwing a pie in a professor’s face no matter how horrible the class was. She just saw it as a waste of food. A few streets were being closed down for the parade from 9:00-10:00 a.m. Rides were open all day until about 8:30 p.m but the fair was open for another two hours after that. Vendors selling crafts and food, face painters, a show performance in the evening, and everything Rey thought it could have. Tickets were only 50 cents each, or 10 tickets for $4. 

Headmaster Lando Calrissian was even participating in the pie contest. There was nobody else listed yet but the names were coming out soon. Finn gave the sheet back to the student who lent it to them. 

“Is everyone ready for the quiz?” 

Rey looked at Ben/Professor Solo. What he brought in some days varied. Sometimes it was a briefcase, other times it was a cross body bag like the one he came in with today. 

Today he was very casual. A nice button-down shirt over a white t-shirt, jeans, with his hair ruffled and glasses on. 

It was a good look on him. 

Rey sat up. She was ready enough as she could be. Finn looked at her wide-eyed, mouthing “oh shit” before looking back to Professor Solo. 

“If there is any cheating, I will take the quiz and write a zero large enough for your mother to see from her house and then you will stay out of my class until next Wednesday,” he walked around and left the quizzes face down on their desks. He didn’t make eye contact with anyone, including Rey. 

Once all the quizzes were passed out, he told everyone to flip them over and finish in half an hour. 

Rey looked at the first question. She could do this.

There were 10 questions total. Half were multiple choice, two were true or false, and the last three were short answers. 

The last question made her pause. 

Hermann Ebbinghaus and the forgetting curve and spacing effect. She smiled, remembering the way he stared into her eyes as he looked for the truth. This was the question she definitely knew the answer to, writing out the example that she’d given to him and the rest of the class. 

She was done in the nick of time, breathing a sigh of relief as she put her pencil down a minute before Professor Solo called for pencils and pens to go down. 

“Sarah, collect them please.”

Sarah looked at Professor Solo in surprise that he was acknowledging her after their disagreement, let alone asking her for a favor. Rey chuckled, betting that Sarah was regretting not wearing a mini skirt to show him today. She did, however, go up to him and flirt a little after class was over. Rey didn’t even watch the embarrassment. 

Her next class had been cancelled early this morning, so that allowed Rey to catch up on work and have a quick nap in the library. 

But not before picking up the letter from Kylo.

**I did not eat any of it but I heard it was good. Also, tomorrow is Thursday and the movie choice was Remember the Titans. Which I’m sure you’ve already heard by now. Do you have any plans to watch it with anyone? This is all up to you now, but look for the dark hair and black shirt on a tall person. I will not be there on Friday but I can recommend you some music if you want. I can’t promise you’ll hear any of it Friday night because my generation listened to very different music at school functions. P.S- I have a feeling you’re the only one who I would want to notice in a crowd. -K.R**

Rey wasn’t allowed a CD player or ipod growing up with Unkar. Her expertise in the music field was limited. Her heart swelled with joy reading his last line. 

Taking out a pen and paper, she began to write back. 

**I guess the only thing special about the lunch was that it was free and there was plenty of it. Other than that, it wasn’t as if you missed a big glamorous event. The barbecue wings did not leave my hands pretty so thank god for restrooms nearby. I am sorry to hear you’re not coming on Friday but if you do come, let me know in some way that you’re there. Tomorrow night I will be wearing a blue or gray shirt. Just go back to my last note about my description. We will see if you can see me in the crowd ;)**

Rey smiled. This was going to happen, she would make sure of it.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday classes dragged on. Rey was exhausted after her weight class, stopping with the others when the list of professors participating in the pie throwing came out. She wasn’t concerned with who they were but she needed a break. 

“Headmaster Calrissian,” someone read. They listed a few names but Rey recognized one. Amilyn Holdo, who Rey never would’ve imagined participating. She must have lost some type of bet. Finn would be disappointed Hux wasn’t signed up for it. 

Rey went home with Kaydel after classes were over. They both watched a tv program for an hour before making an early dinner. Rose came home from school later on. It had rained earlier on but stopped just before they left for the movie, taking place in a park just down the street from the school grounds. 

There were already over a hundred students there, settled on blankets. There were stands for popcorn and drinks like at a movie theater. Rey even saw some of the faculty and staff there. Phasma was in line at the popcorn stand with one other person. Even Mr. Binks had brought a lady friend, albeit a friend who looked reluctant to be there. 

Rey saw who Phasma was taking the popcorn and drinks to and smiled to herself. There was Ben (she could call him that, they weren’t technically in school) and that red headed man on chairs near the back of the crowd. 

“What are you smiling about?” Finn came to her side, holding a plate of nachos and cheese. 

“Nothing,” Rey looked away from the person catching her eye. Leather jackets certainly suited him. “Where is everyone?” Both her roommates had disappeared from her sight. 

“Poe went to get some candy and I saw Rose and Kaydel get some food,” Finn held up a blanket in his arms. “Poe said we could set this down since he’ll be back soon.”

Rey looked for a spot and then she saw Ben stand up and walk across to the stands. 

She really could use a sweater right now. Why did she think short sleeves was a good idea? She promised Kylo a blue or gray shirt and she had a blue long sleeve shirt that was perfect for the morning and night but too hot for in the day. 

“You look cold.”

Rey jumped. Looks like Ben found her first while she was standing in line for drinks. She could really use a soft drink to help her stay awake. 

“I didn’t think it would be so cold,” she admitted, turning around to face him. I forgot my sweater at home,” she looked around for her friends and for Kylo in a black shirt.

“Are you looking for someone? Good luck with that,” Ben told her. 

“The friends I came with. And one other person but I have no idea where he is. Did you bring that date you mentioned the other day?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t bring her.”

“I’m sorry,” Rey said, sympathetically. 

She was met with a look of confusion. “Why are you sorry? I didn’t bring her but she and I aren’t on bad terms. She’s coming on her own.”

Rey’s turn was up. She told the boy at the stand her drink order and took out her wallet. $5 for a small drink was a rip-off but she was so thirsty.

“I’ll get it,” Ben had his wallet out before Rey could look through her wallet.

“You shouldn’t,” Rey tried to argue but he stopped her. 

“I can’t imagine that slimy boss of yours pays you what you deserve,” it was harsh as some people had said he could be on their ratings of him, but it was true. He was saying what her friends would have otherwise. 

Rey started to shiver. The temperature was dropping pretty quick and the rain was starting to come down in small drizzles. “I should go,” she told Ben, spotting Kaydel walking over to Finn and Poe. She spotted Rose with her sister Paige. “Enjoy the movie!”

Ben watched her leave, looking down at his leather jacket that was now getting water on it. If it could only get little warmer, then he could take off his jacket and Sunny would see him in the black shirt. Looking around, there would have been no point to that anyway. Lots of black shirts, and students her age that would catch her eye before he ever would. 

Well, there was one thing he could still do at least. There was a spare sweatshirt in his car…

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Excuse me?” a girl approached Rey at one scene in the movie. 

Rey turned around and saw a girl she’d never seen before, holding out a dark hoodie for her. “I was told you might need this.”

Ben watched from a distance, looking away as Rey started to look around. He smiled to himself, so that Phasma and Hux couldn’t see. Nobody ever accused him of having a poor memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey's dress: https://us.versdresses.com/aline-eggplant-square-middle-sleeves-empire-waist-pleated-with-beading-around-waist-floor-length-chiffon-mother-of-the-bride-dresses-mobd0165-p-1741.html.
> 
> All mistakes are mine. See you soon! Writing chapter 10 now. Homecoming will be another 2 chapters at least. It's all about the development ;)


	10. Hallelujah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to bust this out before working on the long one. Sorry if you wanted more about the dance!

Rey looked behind her several times during the movie. 

Ben didn’t look at her once but she knew it was him. Unless Kylo had somehow spotted her and didn’t want to approach her.

Either he didn’t notice that even Kaydel and a hundred other girls wearing blue shirts (damn it, Rey should have thought of a different color) or he saw her, decided he wasn’t interested but still wanted to be a gentleman. 

The first one seemed the most likely. 

And being asked to look for a guy in a black shirt this time of year was the most eye rolling favor Rey had ever been asked (not including the ones given by Unkar). She and Kylo had one thing in common- they needed to think of better colors or patterns to wear. There must have been a thousand people wearing some shirt of black shirt. 

At least she could exclude any band shirts. Surely Kylo would have mentioned _that_. 

The movie finished and some people stayed. The small bit of rain had cleared but it was still chilly enough for people to leave because of that or because they had homework or tests for the next day. 

“You ready?” Rose asked her. Poe and Finn were packing things up and taking it to the cars. 

“Oh! Yes,” Rey stood up and let Finn fold up the camping chair she’d been sitting on. She took one last look around. Students and staff were scattered around. 

She didn’t see Ben in the mass of people though. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ben had spent the movie, smiling at the look on Rey’s face when she saw his jacket. He would look away each time she’d try to make eye contact. He didn’t want to cross any more lines than he already had. 

The smile went away. Why had he done that? He should start focusing on something else, like a potential friend. 

Ben, well Kylo, had promised Sunny music. He didn’t have a huge range in music taste, keeping to himself in High School instead of attending every grunge concert that came through the city. His parents and uncle were always on his case about being more “like the other kids.” He just never cared to go partying and the only dates he had lined up were those who thought being with him would mean living wealthy or the jokes. Ben Solo was tall and gangly. The only difference now was that he’d grown his hair to cover his ears and put on some muscle. 

He took out a pen and paper from the cross-body bag that was still in his car and brought them back with him to his chair. Hux and Phama were too busy talking quietly during some of the scenes of the movie to notice what he was doing. Ben was too deep in his thoughts to shush them during one of his favorite movies as a teen. 

And they were sitting a little too close to some vendors. 

“Did you come here to grade some work?” Hux shot him one his famous sneers in the middle of the movie. 

“Yes Hux, I came here to work. Are you familiar with the word?” Ben was too focused to give a damn about the look that was being sent his way.

There were many he wanted Sunny to hear right away. If she didn’t hear the CD until later on, then how could he guarantee her to hear any of it? 

It was going to take some thinking. 

All this for a possible friendship. It certainly wasn’t going to turn into anything more if they could never meet and know if they got along in person. Ben looked down at the list he had written down. It took nearly the whole movie before he had 15 songs on the list he was satisfied with (though he’d been distracted with the movie as well).

Friday was going to be a circus at school. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today was a circus.

Rey looked around as some students left school early to get ready. Mainly the girls who believed they needed 8 hours to get ready for dance that started at 7 p.m. Rey wasn’t about to miss her last class to get ready early. Kaydel’s last class was finished by lunch time so she would be able to leave the shower free for the other two when they got home. Rey’s dress was hanging up in her closet and she had broken in the shoes for a little bit yesterday. Rose was having her sister come and help her get ready while Kaydel would help with make-up.

“I hope you know that I will not be dancing,” Rey told Rose and Kaydel. 

“Oh but you should!” Rose looked at her in surprise. “Do you just plan to stand there and drink whatever they have or hide out in the bathroom all night?”

“Not exactly,” when the other two looked at her expectantly, Rey carried on. “I plan to just stand there and listen to music I likely have never heard before, and only after that will I hide out in the bathrooms or outside for the rest of the night.”

Rose snorted.

“Lame,” Kaydel commented. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if you did just that.”

“Remember what you thought LBD was our freshman year?” Rose reminded Rey.

“Oh hell,” Rey muttered.

“Oh hell is right! You thought LBD was a disease, remember saying that out loud in front of Finn and Poe?”

“I will see you two at the apartment after your piss match,” Kaydel stood up from her seat and put her lunch tray with the others, grabbing her things together. “Catch you in a few hours!”

Rey and Rose went about their separate classes before heading home together. Rey decided to take a shower first and then Rose went in soon after she was finished. Poe was the only one of the group who was still in class. His didn’t end until 5 p.m and he couldn’t imagine his professor letting everyone out early. 

All 3 girls (and it was sent to Finn) received a picture message from Poe at about 4:15. It was a selfie, with him smiling brightly. 

Poe Dameron  
_4:15 p.m: [image sent] one of 9 in class! Usually 21 people are here._

“Is it just me or is homecoming bigger here than in most High Schools?” Kaydel asked, closing Poe’s text after responding to him. Everyone else received her text because of the group message. 

Kaydel Connix  
_4:17 p.m: Cute!_

“It is,” Rose agreed with their friend. “It would’ve been less exhausting on a Saturday though. I guess it had to be today with the whole day being scheduled tomorrow. I’d rather have the festival on a weekend but I was just lucky my boss let me take the day off.”

“At least you got the whole day off. I still have to work in the morning,” Kaydel brought out a make-up bag. “Who’s first?”

“Paige is coming over soon so Rey can go first. Maybe her hair first so she won’t sweat it off or mess with the make-up.” 

Paige came within 10 minutes to help her sister out. Rose dress was a red floor-length and strapless gown. Kaydel’s dress was a deep blue with sparkles that would definitely be seen in a dim room. 

Rey looked at hers. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone that would be there. Earlier that day, Kylo had told her he wasn’t sure if he would come.

**Sunny- Bodhi Rook is the DJ. He isn’t too much older than I am but I remember him from school. I do not think I will be there but I hope you enjoy yourself tonight. The weather was unfortunate last night. I should have told you another color besides black but I cannot imagine myself wearing bright pastel colors. Tell me all about how tonight goes. I’m sure you’ll look beautiful. This little gift that I made last minute is for you. You won’t have time to listen to it all right now but just listen to the last song. Yours-Kylo.**

The gift was a CD, Rey put it into her computer and listened to the last song while she combed her hair after her shower. There were 15 songs on the disc and she listened to the last one twice. It was a beautiful song. 

Kaydel was finishing up Rey’s hair when Rose and Paige came in. Rose had decided to keep her hair down but brought a hair tie for when she got too hot. 

“Does this hurt your head?” Kaydel looked at the casual updo she had done for Rey. “I tried not to pull it back too tight but I also don’t want you worrying about it coming down the minute we get there.”

“Are you guys going exactly when it starts?” Paige asked, watching Kaydel work on Rey’s make-up.

“Being late is never good,” Rey held back a shudder, remembering Unkar’s reaction when she was late to anything (mostly late to work when she’d help him clean buildings). 

“Hun, this is a homecoming dance, not a job interview. Arriving later is better. You don’t need to stand there like an awkward geek who just had their mom drop them off to their first school dance,” Paige gave a few more points of advice.

“Oh! Finn texted me. He wants to know if we’re going to need another 5 hours to get ready,” Rose was looking at her phone.

“Please! There are 3 of us and we haven’t even taken that long,” Kaydel was finishing up Rey’s eyeshadow, checking it over before giving a nod of approval. 

“I’m telling him what you said,” Rose typed out her reply to Finn.

The boys came to get them around 6:50. With Paige’s insistence that they shouldn’t be the first ones there, they left around 7:15. Rose hugged her sister and thanked her before they left 

The room was crowded enough by the time they got there. More people showed up within the hour. As Rey had predicted, she didn’t dance at all until Finn brought her out of her shell for one song. 

This was new to her but at least there were food and drinks. Headmaster Calrissian was one of the chaperones. Rey waved to Professor Holdo, who waved back and motioned to Rey’s dress. They exchanged a thumbs up. 

Bodhi wasn’t a bad DJ. Poe had complained on the drive over that so many parties only played techno or country. But this dance didn’t. There were slow songs, party songs, and various types of music with only one techno song. Rey still stood by the refreshment stand, usually with Kaydel. They wondered the halls together for a little while, talking about one of the movies they’d watched together as roommates- Pride and Prejudice. Rey had enjoyed it immensely, a face she shared with Kaydel while freshening up in the restroom. 

“My hair has gotten messy,” Kaydel looked at herself but shrugged it off. “That’s what happens in a crowded dance room without dancing much, I guess.”

They walked back to the ballroom, chatting more about Pride and Prejudice. They joined their friends for one song but Rey backed away when Kaydel was asked to dance. She looked fondly at her friends out there. 

“Do you know 90’s hip hop Rey?” Finn asked her during one of the songs. He took a drink of water. “Come with us! Even Poe and Kaydel are standing up. You can’t ignore this Montell Jordan song.”

It was a lot of fun. Nobody made any comments about Rey’s dancing because some people danced worse than her. Poe tried to help her but without much success on his own. 

Bodhi lowered the volume when the song was done. “I have a song for somebody,” he looked down at a small piece of paper in his hand. “Is there a Sunny here?” People started to look around. 

Rey looked to him. There was no possible way she had heard that right. Unless there was someone else who had Sunny as their real name. 

“This one is for you.”

It was a slow song so couples started pairing off. Finn took Rose’s hand and led her to the floor. They’d been dancing a lot tonight. 

Poe and Kaydel were chatting by refreshments. Rey excused herself from them.

She ran to Bodhi, who was getting off the stage for a small break. “Excuse me!”

He didn’t hear her over the music and the crowd. 

Rey got closer until they were in a corner of the ballroom. “Excuse me!” This time he turned around. He looked at her with a questioning gaze. 

“Yeah, what can I do for you?”

“That song- who told you to play it?”

“What’s it to you?”

“It was Kylo, wasn’t it?” Rey’s heart rate sped up when he didn’t answer. “It was him. Please, tell me his actual name because I know it’s not Kylo.”

“Listen honey, I can tell you who it was. Not sure what all this Kylo is about business though. Is that what he’s going by these days?” Bodhi laughed to himself and shook his head. “I swear, that kid…” he took a drink from a water bottle, still chuckling. 

“Great, you can tell me? Chances are I don’t know this person, considering there are tens of thousands of students.”

“I meant that I _can_ tell you since I’m physically able to open my mouth and say the name. But I can’t. He paid me $200 to not say anything and I don’t want to be on his bad side for taking his money and breaking my promise.”

Rey’s jaw dropped. What student had that kind of money lying around to give to a DJ just for not giving his name?

“$200?!” That was unbelievable. “What the hell? He said he wants to meet but now he doesn’t want to give his name? I don’t understand that.”

“Knowing him, he’s worried you won’t like him. I’ve known the guy for a while and that’s the best explanation I have. Did you make him think you wouldn’t be interested? And don’t go on my facebook Sunny, you won’t find him on there.”

Rey thought back and her heart sank. The frozen yogurt date she didn’t go to. Kylo must have thought it was best to stay anonymous. Which didn’t make sense if he told her to say hi during the movie night. Unless he knew there might be somebody else in the picture. Not that Ben was in the picture. 

She was getting so confused. 

“I might have,” she admitted. 

“Sorry I can’t be more help without breaking my promise. I wish you luck,” Bodhi started to walk away as the song ended. 

Rey nodded. 

“Hey wait!” He turned around and took a few steps towards her. “What’s your name?”

Rey raised her eyebrows. “Why, so you can tell him? Nice try.”

Bodhi smiled and walked away. “Worth a shot!”

Rey stood there, stunned. She sat down and looked out into the crowd. Kylo wasn't here but he wanted her to hear the song he told her about. 

Then a thought came to her that made her smile. 

He was thinking about her. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The phone buzzed quite loudly. 

Ben groaned and paused the movie he was watching. Who could be sending him a message at this time of night? 

Bodhi Rook:  
_11:05 p.m: Met your girl!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who do you think will be the first to find out about the other? Ben or Rey?
> 
> Sorry for the lack of Reylo this chapter. Next one is long though!
> 
> Montell Jordan song is “This Is How We Do It.”
> 
> The song for Rey was Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright


	11. Wicked Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay or if this chapter sucks. I’m having a bit of a writers block right now but I didn’t want you to think I’d disappeared!

_Met your girl!_

Ben sat up. So she had been there.

_Don’t get desperate, don’t get desperate._ He was feeling anxious now. He stood up and paced around the room.

He didn’t want to know and get his hopes up but he had to know. 

Ben Solo  
_11:10 p.m: Just one question- is she out of my league?_

Bodhi Rook  
_11:12 p.m: Yes and no. Idk, I didn’t talk to her for very long. But at least she listened to the song you wanted her to hear!_

Ben Solo  
_11:13 p.m: That’s all you’re going to tell me? Are you purposely trying to piss me off?_

Bodhi Rook  
_11:16 p.m: If it means seeing the infamous Ben Solo temper come out, yes._

Ben Solo  
_11:18 p.m: Bodhi… tell me now._

Bodhi Rook  
_11:21 p.m: Cute, a little taller than me in heels (which weren’t high), brunette. She isn’t plastic looking so that’s one point in her favor. She seems nice._

Ben Solo  
_11:23 p.m: But out of my league?_

Bodhi Rook  
_11:25 p.m: Solo, you worry about your ears too much. She might even think they’re adorable. And chicks dig scars. I’d be more concerned about the fact that she’s a student._

Ben put his phone away and walked to the bathroom. The light was dim but he could still make out the scar on his right cheek. 

He figured the worse was that she was a student and not a graduate or a TA. But it still made him cringe thinking about it. 

He needed a good nights sleep. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaydel was already gone to work by the time Rey and Rose left. They didn’t feel the need to go right as it started. Rose wanted to leave around noon. 

Parking was a bitch. Rose had to park the car a few blocks away. The parade was at least finished though so they didn’t have to worry about hundreds of innocent pedestrians participating in a parade. 

The food eating contest was about to begin when they got there. Rey only watched (as best as she could around a thousand or so people) and could only take a few minutes before she wanted to throw up. 

“Where’s the pie throwing?” Rose asked her. 

It was further than they expected. Poe texted both girls to see where they were at. He and Finn had just arrived and were waiting in line at a jungle gym. 

“Wow, did you guys turn five again?” Rose asked, dryly. 

“You know it,” Poe gave her a wink. “Join us.” 

“I don’t think they’ll even let you on. You’re too big for it.” 

They only had to wait another two minutes before Poe and Finn were let on, with Poe giving the girls a shrug before he went on. 

“Last chance!” 

Rose took a deep breath. “All right, fine!” She ran quickly to join the other two. “You coming, Rey?” 

Rey shook her head. If anyone falls, I don’t want to be a part of it.” 

Nobody fell but one of the kids did try to scare his little brother by jumping and shaking the bridge. Even scared Finn, who had started to turn around and get off the bridge until Poe laughed and told him to just keep walking. 

Rey looked around her as her friends came down. Kaydel was at work for another two hours and then she would need to find somewhere to park. Rose was having fun with the boys. 

“What’s wrong?” Finn put an arm around her shoulder. 

Rey gave him a weak smile. “Nothing.” 

He lowered his voice. “If you don’t want to stay here, just let me know ok? I can drive you home and we can watch a movie or something.” 

“No, I know you’re having fun. So Hux never signed up for the pie throwing huh?” She wanted to change the subject. 

_Finn’s shoulders slumped as he sulked. “No.”_

_Rey gave a small laugh as she looked out to the crowds. That’s when she spotted him, just a little ways ahead but very easy to spot._

_In a black shirt and jeans._

_Jeans that fit _very_ well. Rey lifted her sunglasses to make sure she was seeing what she thought she was seeing. It was always strange seeing him outside of the classroom. But he looked so casual and relaxed that looking at him long enough made Rey clench her legs together. _Now is not the time!_ She scolded herself._

_But just her luck, he was with someone._

_A woman who (Rey could even see from where she was) had the thickest, sharpest eyebrows on the planet and lots of make-up caked on her face._

Ben was holding two small bags in his hands, as the woman took a treat from one bag. He had them in the palm of his hand, low enough for her to reach them. Even her nails looked sharp as hell from this distance. 

Rey was walking closer without noticing. 

Black shirt. 

She scoffed. Poe was in a black shirt today too and that didn’t mean shit. It was almost laughable picturing Poe writing notes to a girl. He was much more into technology than he would be into writing. 

And there were much more guys and girls in black shirts as well. 

“Want any of these mini doughnuts?” Finn held a bag in front of her, leaving Rey to become distracted. She took a doughnut from the bag. When she looked up, Ben and the woman were gone. Poe is getting everyone some tickets. He wants to hit up the ferris wheel when it’s a little darker.” 

Rey didn’t answer. 

“Rey? Earth to Rey!” 

Finn was looking at her, concerned. 

“Sorry! I was distracted for a moment. How much do I owe Poe for the tickets?” 

Finn waved her off. “They’re so cheap that he doesn’t mind buying them. He has more money for it than most of us.” They waited for their friend for a few more minutes. 

“Only $16 for 40 tickets,” Poe waved the tickets in front of them, clenched in his fist like a medal. “Rides are only one or two tickets per person so there is plenty we can go on,” he handed Finn and Rey eight tickets each. “Where’s Rose?” 

“She had to use the restroom,” Finn replied. 

Rey hadn’t even heard her friend say that. 

Rose met up with them at the merry-go-round, which was easier said than done. No matter what age, it seemed everyone enjoyed going on it, so the crowd was large enough to get Finn confused about where Rose really was. 

“There’s a fun house we should try out,” Poe told them as they waited in line for drinks. “That’s where they have things jump out at you. I heard they even have a clown pick someone at random to chase after with a hacksaw. Fake hacksaw obviously,” he explained to Rey, who had looked confused by what a fun house was. 

“Rose will be screaming the whole time. I hope the clown picks her,” Finn chucked at the thought of that. 

Rose straightened up. “Lead the way Poe.” 

They gave it a second thought when they saw the line. 

Finn’s mouth dropped. “Woah!” 

“This is obviously the popular one,” Rey chimed in. Her phone buzzed. “Hey, Kaydel is getting off in the next hour. She says she’ll come straight here from work.” 

“Wish her luck on parking for me,” Poe said. “I think she’ll want to go on those high swings.” 

Rey felt a soft nudge on her left. Finn motioned his head toward the crowd. “There’s Phasma.” 

Phasma and the woman who had previously been walking with Ben. The two were heading towards somebody with red hair. 

“Hux too,” Finn lowered his voice. “I’m surprised to even see someone like him here. He’s too high maintenance and stiffy to be at a festival.” 

“Maybe somebody made him come,” Rey suggested. 

“If they did, he would only be here for five minutes before taking off to go see an opera or eat at a five-star restaurant. His family is wealthy and upscale from what I hear.” 

“There’s the headmaster!” Rose came up beside Rey, pointing to Headmaster Calrissian. “He always seems so nice whenever I see him walking in the hallways or on the grounds. And happy too. Have you ever met him?” 

“I haven’t,” Rey admitted. 

“I heard he’s charming, especially when he was younger,” Poe joined in. “I’ve never actually met him though.” 

_“So who told you he was charming?” Rose asked him._

_“Mister Imwe, my physics teacher last year. He told he’d met Calrissian several times and that the man knows how to charm an audience. It doesn’t hurt to be an interactive headmaster either.”_

Rey’s mind drifted away from Rose and Poe’s conversation. She looked around the crowds, wondering how long they would be here today. It’s not that she wasn’t having fun, but she was going to be up late studying if they wanted to stay for the fireworks. 

They tried out a roller coaster and then a (thankfully) shorter free-fall ride. Rey would mutter to herself “don’t look down, don’t look down,” while Rose’s screams nearly broke her eardrums with Poe and Finn yelling “whoo!” on the other side of her. Rey closed her eyes and let her ears recover after they were off. 

“I have to use the restroom!” Rey yelled into Finn’s ear, her hearing still a little off. 

Finn covered his ears. “Messaged received Rey, no need to shout right into my eardrum! We’ll get some snacks and meet up with you by the food stands.” 

The line to use the restrooms was so long that Rey nearly gave up and went to any nearby store or restaurant for it. She was sure her friends were wondering where she was. 

When Rey got out, she frowned at the men’s line. It was always so much shorter than the line for the women’s room. 

It almost seemed as if more people were here around this time than they were earlier. 

__This is going to be fun,_ Rey thought, as she made her way through the crowds. Chances were they were not where Finn said they would be. Poe was enjoying himself too much to miss out on any new rides that would catch his eye. _

“Still not your boyfriend? I couldn’t help but notice you and your friends on the free-fall. Your friends screams could be heard from the other side of the country.” 

Rey jumped and turned around to see Ben drinking a huge soda from a straw. 

“No, not my boyfriend. How about your girlfriend?” 

He stopped drinking. “Girlfriend?” 

“Yeah that woman. I don’t know how to describe her but she has a very sharp face, dark hair, thin…” Rey was struggling to describe her without being rude. 

“Do you mean Bazine? Very dark and thick eyebrows with heavy make-up?” 

Rey hesitated. 

“Yes that was Bazine, but she isn’t my girlfriend. I’ve, um,” his face went red. “I’ve never had anyone show any interest in me.” He looked away from the ground to the crowd, extremely embarrassed. 

_If you only knew,_ Rey took the chance to look at him while he was scanning the crowds, going back to sipping his drink as he did so. He had a sharp profile and it wasn’t conventionally handsome but it was one of the most attractive faces she’d seen. 

“I mean, there were a few instances but she wasn’t anything. I mean, she wasn’t interested in anything long term. It was never Bazine before you ask,” his ears were getting redder by the second. At least from what she could see behind his dark hair. “Which you didn’t so why am I telling you this? It’s inappropriate.” The look on his face was endearing. 

Rey shrugged. She was enjoying listening to him spill it out. It reminded her of that day where they chatted in the bookstore for several minutes before he paid for his order. She cleared her throat. “So who won the food eating contest?” 

“We did,” Ben actually smiled at that. “We’ve got some troopers at our school.” 

“How did they not get sick?” 

“Don’t worry Miss Johnson. Two boys already threw up, one of them in front of a crowd.” 

Rey scrunched her nose. That was information she regretted asking for. 

“Well I have to go catch up with the others,” Ben offered her a warm smile. “Enjoy this time with your loved ones. I will see you in class on Monday where you can all find out your grades for the quiz.” 

“How did I do?” Rey called after him as he walked away. “And I will have fun with my friends since I’ve probably lost them by now. Thanks to you!” 

Ben looked back and gave her a smile before continuing his way. 

Her friends were probably in line for the ferris wheel already. It was getting later in the day and the sky would be setting in a little over an hour. 

Rey looked around. Ben was gone, her friends were somewhere in the mass of people. She walked the opposite way and admired the crafts tables, bought herself a pepperoni pretzel, and continued walking around. Eventually she caught sight of Kaydel near the spinning strawberry shaped teacups. 

“Hey, you made it!” Rey waved her hands. Kaydel waved back. 

“Hey! Where did you go off to?” 

“I was talking to someone from school,” Rey avoided eye contact. “We were just catching up, you know?” 

“So it was a boy.” 

“Maybe,” Rey changed the subject. “Are we doing these next?” 

_“These and the swings.”_

_Rey looked to the other side. The high swings were the one ride Rey was eager to go on. She got dizzy on the spinning strawberries (Finn and Poe were trying to go as fast as possible until Rose begged them to slow down), but the high swing ride was definitely worth the long wait in line. She wanted to go back on almost immediately._

Kaydel joined her after the group explored some of the stands. Rose bought two matching shirts, with one for Paige. Poe nearly got his face painted. 

They ended up going on the strawberry cups again. 

It turned out Ben hadn’t gone too far. In fact, he was arguing with some older man Rey had never seen before. 

A very creepy looking older man as tall as Ben. 

The argument lasted only a little longer from the time Rey was there. 

Ben walked right past the older man, anger coming off of him. He saw Rey when he passed, giving her a very small and quick smile before working further along. He looked like he needed to get out and take a breather. His fists were clenched, turning more and more red with each passing second. 

She ran up to him. 

This was bolder than Rey had ever known herself to be. What was getting into her? “A movie might cheer you up.” 

“I might just do that,” he said, not looking back at her. 

“By yourself?” 

“Should I be inviting Snoke or Hux to a movie night at my home? No thank you. I’d rather get my hand cut off,” he snapped. 

“It was just an idea,” she muttered. She was stepping over the line but it was surprising to her that he hadn’t pointed that out yet. 

“I’m sorry, Miss Johnson. It’s not you I’m angry with so I apologize if it came off that way. You have a good night.” 

“I have a CD I just got,” she suggested. Now she was really stepping out of line. “Would you like to borrow it? Might help.” 

He looked at her with raised eyebrows. “Why would I do that?” 

Before Rey could respond, Headmaster Calrissian came up to Ben. “How ya doing son? That girl you came with is looking for you.” 

“Now’s not the time, Lando,” Ben grumbled. 

Rey’s eyes widened. Did he know who he was talking to? 

“No more Uncle Wanwo? No, but seriously kid, you have quite the taste in women if that one is your girlfriend. Not sure I’d break her heart anytime soon.” 

Uncle Wanwo? Either Rose's screaming had permanently damaged Rey's ears or she was going crazy. She certainlt wasn't about to jump into the conversation and ask. 

“She’s not my girlfriend and I’m not dating anyone before you ask. I already have my mother asking me that every week.” 

Headmaster Calrissian acknowledged Rey with a nod and slapped Ben on the back before he left. 

“I’ll let you go,” before Rey could stop herself, she blurted out, “and thank you for the jacket the other day. You didn’t have to.” 

“Better than you getting sick and missing my class this next week. There are assignments you’ll only know if you go to class.” 

Rey rolled her eyes. His concern was so touching. 

“In any way, I didn’t bring it here,” she told him. 

“You can bring it to class on Monday then.” 

They looked at each other. Rey coming in on Monday and giving him his jacket back? That would have people talking. 

“Or my office is fine,” Ben quickly corrected himself. “Phasma won’t ask. Hux might if he sees you but I’ll take care of that.” 

“I left it at home,” Rey told him. “I’ll probably head back soon. I think my friends want to stay for the fireworks but my feet are giving out.” 

“Drive safe.” 

“I would if I had a car.” 

“How far do you live?” 

“We parked a few blocks away but it was about a 15 minute drive.” 

Ben’s jaw dropped. “That’s miles away, Rey!” 

She wanted to laugh. He honestly could not pick a name to call her by. 

“I’ve walked more than that before, trust me. Unkar would have me working on my feet all day. Or are you offering me a ride?” 

He stiffened. “That would be a little-” 

“Inappropriate,” Rey finished. 

“You should get a ride. I don’t want you walking all that way by yourself, it’s starting to get dark.” 

“I don’t think you know my background.” 

“Your background wouldn’t change the fact that I’m uncomfortable with you walking alone so far in the dark,” he argued. 

“Do I look like a wizard that can apparate? I don’t have unlimited options.” 

He sighed, shoulders slumped in defeat. “It’s a black Toyota Corolla, 2017. The license plate begins with L3, it’s not far from here. Go the parking lot by the fire station and I’ll meet you there in 10 minutes. I could get in trouble for this but better than anything bad happening to you on the streets. This will stay between us, understood?” 

Rey let Finn know. 

_Finn  
_7:16 p.m: Are you walking??__

_Rey Johnson  
_7:18 p.m: I have a ride. Let the others know. I hate to bail but I’m exhausted.__

“Can I please play that CD I have? I bet your car has a great sound system,” she begged Ben. 

He looked confused, but shrugged and caved in. “I guess." 

She gave him a smile, looking around to make sure people weren’t watching their interactions. It could come across as wrong, because of Ben’s position. "Thank you for this." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone who guessed said Ben. Any guesses for Rey or are we still thinking Ben will find out first? :) I guess we’ll see next chapter!
> 
> I know it’s been pretty fluffy, but I promise the pain train is coming soon.


	12. Can't Pretend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just the first bit is from Rey’s view. I’m guessing nobody will argue that I write this one more in Ben’s ;) This chapter is a little shorter and all mistakes are mine. Hugs and kisses!
> 
> Thank you so much for the support!

Rey crossed her arms over her chest. It was getting cold and people were walking by, giving her odd looks, and-

Where the hell was Ben?!

People were going to think she was staking the place out and looking to steal a car. It had already taken her longer than she expected to find what she hoped was his car. 

It beeped twice. 

Finally!

“That only took an hour. Really, were you burying someone?” she accused him. 

“I was,” he said it so seriously that Rey would’ve believed it if she didn’t know better. “You ready to go?”

“I was ready when I first got here.”

Rey walked to the passenger side of the car and saw Ben was there holding the door open. 

“Oh. Well, thanks,” she gave him a quick smile before getting into the car. Ben closed the door behind her and walked to his side. 

“It’s a nice car,” she said, watching him start up the car. 

“I’d hope so for how much it was,” he shook his head. “Sorry, it’s been a long day and I was up late last night.”

He pulled out of the parking lot, waiting for pedestrians to pass by before getting onto the road. “What’s your address?”

“4031 Dathomir Drive.”

Ben gave her his phone, not taking his eyes off the road as he fetched his phone from his pocket and handed it to her. “Put it into the GPS.”

Their talk was interrupted by a loud growl.

“Was that you?”

Rey put her hand on her stomach. “No,” she lied, unfortunately the goofy smile she tried to hide gave it away. Ben cracked a smile and made a sharp turn. Rey held onto the side of the door. 

Ben was in line at a drive-thru before she could blink.

“Hi, welcome to Jack-in-the-Box, what can I get for you?”

“What are you-?” Rey started to ask.

Ben turned his head slightly to face her. “Decide quick,” he turned back to the intercom. “Hi, can I have one order of a chicken teriyaki bowl with a large jumpin jack splash. Rey, what about you? You can mix drink flavors if you want.”

Rey scanned the menu, knowing two people were waiting for her. She leaned over for the girl on the other end to hear her. “Chicken sandwich,” she yelled into the machine. 

The girl read out the total to him. “You can pay at the first window.”

Ben got out his wallet while they waited behind another car. 

“Thank you,” she said quietly. 

“Yeah,” he answered just as quietly, not looking at her. 

The car in front of them moved. 

“One chicken sandwich, one chicken teriyaki with a large drink. Total is $8.97.” Ben handed the girl at the window his card. “Anything else?”

“Want a drink?” Ben asked Rey.

“A small diet coke, if that’s okay.”

Ben turned back to the girl at the window. “Small diet coke.”

The charge was added to Ben’s card before they went to the second window to collect their food. Rey thanked him again before digging into her sandwich. It was delicious. 

“Any sauce?” the boy asked. 

“Ketchup!” Rey said, with a mouthful of food.

Ben turned to her with an amused look on his face. “A lot of ketchup,” he told the kid. “I have a feeling she’ll want more than two packets.”

“I’m surprised you’re letting me eat in your car,” Rey swallowed her bite. “It’s so nice that I feel bad for doing it.”

“I can get it cleaned anytime,” he said, deep in thought as he stared out the window. He had left the car running, so Rey started eating a little more quickly, worried she was holding him from whatever he had to go. “Don’t rush, it’s fine as it is.”

“Music!” Some food shot out. Rey put a hand on her mouth, hoping he hadn’t noticed just those little bits of fries now somewhere in the car. She could breathe a sigh of relief as she noticed he was still looking out of the window. 

“Go for it,” he said, not even looking at her as she put it in. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With one hand on the top of the steering wheel and the other on the top of the door (holding his chin), he stared out the window. 

He hoped to god nobody from his classes had seen them go through the drive-thru. Better yet, nobody from the school. His name was enough to make some ears stick out even when they didn’t know about Padme Amidala, his grandmother. Like mother, like daughter. Choosing men that society considered scoundrels or outcasts. Padme, an Earl’s daughter, chose Anakin Skywalker in the end. They ran away from her home, from their families, and started a new life on the other side of the world. 

The noise that had created back in the day was astounding. In present time, nobody would bat an eyelash. 

“Music!”

“Go for it.”

He hadn’t meant to sound short, but Rey took no offense. 

“You know I’ve never heard it all the way through? Actually, I’ve never got the chance to listen to music on my own. The only time I did was inside of a store or a gas station. Or if the tenants of the building were listening to it loud enough since there were always parties in that area that caused the police to show up…How do I use this? I put the CD in but it’s not playing.”

“Oh,” Ben turned around. “You have to turn it off the auxiliary,” one look at her gave him the answer he needed. “Never mind. I’ll just do it.”

All it took was the press of a few buttons.

He’d let her finish eating then take her home. Better than getting caught in a place bound to be overrun by college kids in the next few hours. 

He had spaced out the first bit of the song. 

“I’m sorry if I’m making your car smell.”

“Don’t worry, the teriyaki smell is stronger,” he gave her a small smile. Her mouth was full of food but the smile she gave him was worth a picture. She kept her mouth closed as she smiled but he could see she was holding back a laugh. The look she was giving him would’ve made the mess worth it if her mouth had opened with a laugh. 

Then he heard the music.

She had better taste than he expected from anyone her age. Some of the music his students listened to was absolute garbage. 

It was actually a song he’d put on a disc…

For Sunny. 

_That's strange. What are the chances of that happening?_

Maybe she just had the CD where the song came from. 

That’s exactly what it was. 

But nobody ever described Ben as patient. 

“How about you don’t play it in order?” Ben challenged her. “Try track number eight next and we can play your music out of order.” He had to know before it kept him awake all night.

It was exactly the same one he had chosen as song number five.

The horn honked.

Both Ben and Rey jumped. 

Ben slumped in his seat, his brain going miles a minute as he took his hand off the steering wheel. This could not be happening to him. Not now. And not her. 

"Where did you get this?" he asked her.

"It was a gift. Can you believe it?" Rey grinned, unaware of the face Ben was making. "I don't know if he's interested in me at all but I'm not going to argue against a gift that somebody took their time to make."

His palms were sweating, his breathing becoming uneven. 

Rey was his Sunny.

There were thousands of people in the school. Thousands! Hell, even Phasma would have been preferable. Not that he wanted to date Phasma, but at least he could tell her and they could laugh it off with a few drinks. 

_How did this happen?_

He had to think quickly. 

“Well you’re almost done eating. I’ll take you back,” he didn’t wait for an answer before he was pulling out of the parking spot and getting back onto the road. 

“But-“

“No buts,” Ben snapped. “I offered you a ride home, Miss Johnson, not a dinner and a movie. I’ve done more on my part than I agreed to. You’re going home.”

Rey crossed her arms and stared out the whole window, only speaking to give him directions in few short words. 

Ben had grown up socially awkward and shy (one could argue he was still so), but he could still see Rey was upset. He’d been harsh, he wouldn’t lie. She would have the wrong idea if he wasn’t willing to take the steps to protect them both. He convinced himself on the drive over that this was for her own good. The only step now was to stop writing her as Kylo and stop speaking to her as Ben. Unless he was Professor Ben Solo, then he’d talk to her only in the classroom in front of others and only regarding class material. No more personal talks.

No more personal talks. 

_Great,_ he thought. _Now I'll have to talk to that asshole if I want to buy a book._

“Here?” he asked, pulling up to a small apartment building.

“Yes,” Rey answered in a small voice. “Thanks.”

She got out of his car without looking back at him. 

He pulled out a CD from his glove compartment. At least he’d made two copies of the music. He tried not to think of her.

Ben went into his home. It wasn’t vert well decorated, but it was livable. A couch and a leather chair in his tv room, an office, a decent kitchen, a large dining room, two bedrooms, and a bathroom. 

He laid down on his couch with a beer and his food on the table in front of him and a bowl of popcorn in his hands. He’d take some time to decide whether to laugh or hit his head on the wall. 

How had he not seen it?

Rey was easy to read from the first day. Yet, she’d kept this secret from him for over a month. And yet, it made perfect sense. She kept secrets and this was her biggest one. 

Flipping on his tv, he settled comfortably and kept his eyes on the tv. A small smile curled onto his lips. No matter how many times he’d complained about his parents wanting to do things with him to make up for a lack of time together as a child, they had shown him same damn good movies. Not that he’d admit it to them. 

Ben listened to Will Smith explain the logic of women, not paying too much attention since he had no experiences to boast about. 

At least he had some similarities to the other guy in the movie. He was no smooth talker and that dancing was worse than Ben’s. Actually, Ben never tried. A girl had invited him to what they called prom. He spent the whole time sitting by himself, watching the girl talk to her friends and leave with another guy. 

He found himself laughing a few times to the movie, nothing to do with him being near drunk after a couple of beers. 

Han Solo had introduced his son to many movies, and Ben would watch them when his father was away. 

Again, not that he’d ever admit it. 

His mother would only get into an argument with Han about the kind of movies Ben watched. Apparently, the Terminator movies were a bit much for a first grader. That and a few mob movies while Ben was still in Elementary school. 

Then there were the PG13 action ones that Ben was allowed to see by a certain age. Ones that his mother would watch with him if he was in the mood.

Their differences started by the time Ben was a teenager (as expected). He’d distanced himself more and more over the years until he hardly spoke to his parents or Uncle Luke. 

Snoke told him separating from family was good for the soul. He treated Ben like a protégé but no in the way that was expected. Some of the words that came out of the man’s mouth were verbal attacks to Ben’s ego. 

One argument led to Ben punching his fist into an elevator wall multiple times. It would’ve hurt like absolute hell if he hadn’t gotten stronger over the years or if he wasn’t as angry as he had been that night. He’d run away from that school halfway through the school year, with Ben working as a research assistant. Hux had spent those years trying to be Snoke’s pet and he could stay that way. 

Ben wasn’t going to. 

It was the first time in over a year that he had spoken to his parents and his uncle Luke. He’d shown up to a family dinner, the same one they held every Sunday night. The look on his parents faces as they opened the door to see their son with a backpack slumped over his shoulder told him they’d missed him more than he thought they would. Nobody asked him why he had decided to come after so long. His mother had sat next to him and gripped his hand when they sat down, tears in her eyes, 

It wasn’t as though he spoke with them very often. But it was more than he had when he was at Snoke’s school. 

Ben finished the movie (even with those awful commercials) and stared at his collection of dvds and blu-rays. He had nothing else to do tonight but think of all his mistakes. And making Rey that CD was one of them. 

In his defense, he didn’t know it was her. 

Which wasn’t an excuse. He was just hoping to share something he enjoyed with another music. 

The fact that she was his student made it worse. Being a student wasn’t ideal but Rey was actually in one of his classes. Hell, he’d visited her work on more than one occasion. 

Rey deserved somebody who could do the things Ben wasn’t allowed to do with her because of his position. Somebody who could show her that not everyone was Unkar or Snoke, to take her to her first symphony, or even take her out to any restaurant she was craving that night. 

Monday was going to be a bundle of laughs. 

Bazine Netal  
_10:44 p.m: Hey you ;). Any fun plans tonight?_

He did not respond, putting his phone down on the coffee table. He had no fun plans but he wasn’t in the mood to make any. Especially if Bazine was going to get handsy.

Instead, he started another movie. 

Ben stared back at his phone after an hour. There was no way he was awake at this hour.

No harm in trying. 

He dialed the number and put the phone to his ear. His number had changed a few months ago so he didn’t expect an answer. 

“Who the hell are you?” still the same gruff voice. “And why are you calling at this goddamn hour?”

Ben took a deep breath. His voice came out like the bullied, young Ben in grade school.

“Hey Dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The movie Ben is watching is Hitch, in case anyone didn’t guess :D This story will start earning its mature rating soon.


	13. What Have You Done For Me Lately

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I get anxious about whether I do this well enough, plus my husband starts school again soon so we're spending time together before his mechanical engineering courses kick his butt again.

Rey closed the door after her, looking down at herself. 

What just happened?

Ok sure, she couldn’t deny that she had maybe pushed her limits. That would explain why Ben had basically kicked her out of his car without so much as a glance. 

At least it was a fun day up until that moment. 

Rose and Kaydel came home about two hours after Rey had already settled in with a book she’d gotten on discount from work. It was helping her keep from her mind from other things. Or, other people. There was nothing more peaceful to Rey than getting lost in a book and inside a character’s thoughts. 

“Is everything all right?”

Rey sighed. “I’ll be okay.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey saw a note poking out from the same place she’d been picking it up for over a month now. Her face brightened just at the sight of it. 

But it fell soon after she began read it.

**Sunny- I have done much thinking about this and it seems fate would prevent us from ever seeing each other. I would never want to waste your time (which you would be with me). Find someone to be fond of and be with that person. Let him take you for a steak, a dessert, or for a ride the ocean. Make memories. – With fondness, Kylo.**

Rey asked herself the same question as she had on Saturday. 

What just happened?

She bumped into a couple of people on the way to class. Her head was buzzing. Was this all because she didn’t show up for their first date? It couldn’t be. He’d still spoken to her after that. He couldn’t blame her for not being able to find him at the movie night. Was it something else, something that she wasn’t thinking of?

Finn tried to speak to her, but she only responded with a small smile. This was going to be a fantastic day.

Rey kept her head down as Ben came into the room.

“How many of you have started to study for the midterm that we’ll be having near the end of this month?”

Oh shit. She’d forgotten all about that. 

“Who wasn’t too busy thinking about their dance partners last period, and can tell me who was the Swiss psychiatrist who founded analytical psychology?”

“Yes?” Ben pointed to Sarah, without raising his head. 

“Is it that German sex guy?” Sarah asked in a very high girly voice. 

Finn choked on his water. Some other people just stared at her with open mouths. Connor started to laugh. 

Ben opened his mouth and closed it again, a dumbfounded look on his face as he looked up from his book. He cleared his throat and found his voice. “I believe you are referring to Sigmund Freud, who was Austrian, not German. And I wasn’t talking about him, even though they made contact with each other in their lifetime.”

“Then Max?”

Rey couldn’t hold back the smile. Ben looked impatient as hell.

“If I hear one more poorly thought out answer, then everyone will get 0 attendance points for the day. Is there anyone who can answer my question?”

No one spoke. Rey could hear her own heart beating. 

“Better no answer than what I’ve been hearing, and the answer was Carl Jung. Let’s continue,” the projector turned on and Ben went on with the lesson as if he was suffering from a migraine. “If you can’t bother to pay attention to anything I say in this class, then you’re free to withdraw and fail this late into the semester. Any questions?”

Rey avoided eye contact with Ben the rest of the period. Not that he would be looking her way, but it wasn’t worth the risk.

At least Psychology class had been good for that first month and a half. 

“I have an announcement for everyone who can stay an extra minute,” Ben was hesitating to say what he was about to. “Headmaster Calrissian has asked for members of the faculty to accept research assistants should the need to arise,” Rey noticed the veins in his forearms appearing as he gripped the edges of his desk. “I was fortunate enough to be asked to work with a research assistant. With this in mind, I am accepting applications for this position over the next week and a half.”

The sarcasm as his voice as he uttered the word “fortunate” was not lost on Rey.

“You can leave applications on my office door. There will be a folder for you to leave them in until next Friday. I will give you an answer to your resume whether your hired or not,” he looked to the door. “You can go.”

Rey passed Sarah just as she was starting to tell her friends, “I think I’ll apply as a research assistant.”

Finn snorted and whispered to Rey. “Like Solo would ever allow that. I mean, German sex guy? Really?”

Of course he would never accept Sarah as an assistant. She was the least likely to get picked but it still made Rey’s skin crawl to think of her alone with Ben, legs crossed and sliding up to his thighs as she giggled and leaned forward to touch him…

Her phone buzzed. 

Unkar Plutt  


_11:20 p.m: You will start working all day Saturday starting this weekend. You will now work Tuesday-Thursday evenings. Be grateful for a Friday night off._

Rey felt sick. 

Kylo had dropped her this morning, her schedule with Unkar was changing at a moment’s notice, and now Ben was going to work with Sarah. The second wasn’t too big of a concern for her. Better than the work she’d had to do for him pre-University. 

The last though…

Not that she would apply. Ben didn’t even care to look at her throughout the whole period, why should she care to work with him?

Two girls from the class were already sitting in chairs with their laptops out. She recognized a guy talking to Ben as someone who was also from the class. 

How could people be jumping at the chance?

_You would be too if this was a week ago._

If there was anyone she would even be remotely interested in to taking her out to a restaurant overlooking the water and laughing over a juicy steak, it certainly wouldn’t be half the people she saw at school. 

The list was short. 

And there was only one person at the top of that list.

It was wrong of her to think of him like that. She easily could blame it on the lack of experience and the lack of affection growing up. Her experience with one guy had started as sweet and romantic and led to her never hearing from him again after that night. Thankfully, he’d been a senior at the University so she never had to see him again. 

They’d only been on a couple of dates before that night. Losing her virginity in a car was not what Rey had imagined (and it wasn’t as easy as she’d imagined). She knew better than to expect it to be rose and cuddles after but she wanted, no _needed_ , someone that could be better than Jeffrey what’s-his-face.

_If Ben wants to work with Sarah and lose 10 IQ points, then he should do exactly that._ Rey took a deep breath, blaming the lack of sleep on her hormone imbalance. She’d been on birth control long enough not to be affected by it. It had to be the exhaustion and abundance of homework. 

Rey had no doubt it was going to be a shitty week. 

And it was. Work was long and tedious on Tuesday night, Ben looked anywhere but her again in class on Wednesday, and homework piled so high up that Rey couldn’t even remember what assignment was due first for which class. 

The next week went by. Until Wednesday’s Psychology class arrived, Rey had been on pins and needles to see who Ben would hire as his research assistant. 

“I applied for the position,” Finn confused to her before class started. 

Rey stopped in her tracks. “What? Why?” 

“Rey, did you read the job description? Putting aside the fact that Solo has been a jackass many times throughout the semester, the pay is amazing. A part-time student job and getting paid $14 an hour? No wonder he got so many offers. I’ve heard people say he’s personally going to pay so the man is well off economically too.”

Oh, no doubt he’d received plenty of others. Rey looked to Sarah and her friends, standing together in a circle 

“I was one of 655 applicants though,” Finn’s voice brought her out of her thoughts. 

It was a very good thing there was no drink in Rey’s mouth, as she would have spit it out all over her friend. “What?!”

“Why are you so shocked? With thousands of students and great pay, what did you expect?”

“How did so many people find out about the position?”

Finn shrugged. “Word of mouth and the school employment page. It was put on by Human Resources, so it wasn’t as if Solo was asking for all this attention.”

“How is he going to go through all those applications?” Rey was dumbfounded. 

“Rey, you can search applications for keywords. I bet that’s what he will do,” Finn looked towards the groups of students heading into class. “I guess that’s our cue.”

Ben looked exhausted when he walked in. He slammed a stack of papers onto the table at the front of the room. 

“I was awake for most of the night deciding which applications I wanted to throw out. The total is up to 410 and counting. Don’t get eager just because you haven’t been told no yet. There are still plenty more I will toss out.”

Rey could hear Finn gulp.

“Let’s get started.”

Sarah raised her hand.

“Yes?” Ben didn’t even look at her.

“But how many have you kept?”

The class went silent, all waiting to hear his answer. Rey would guess that over half the class had applied once they saw the pay. With that pay, she would make much more than she did with Unkar for less than the time she spent at work. It would be much better than sitting or standing around at work bored, waiting for some excitement. 

“Only three.”

There was no more talk on the position of research assistant. Rey went to work, did her homework, greeted the very few people who walked in, and went home. 

It wasn’t the most exciting life. Kaydel was on a date tonight with a mystery suitor and Rose was cooking a late dinner with Paige. 

The days passed and still no word on who the research assistant would be. 

“I wasn’t accepted but he was actually nice enough to tell me to my face,” Finn admitted when Rey asked him about it. “He wasn’t mean about it either. He admitted that my application was actually in the top 10.”

Rey stopped. 

Her CD was still in his car.

“I just remembered I have somewhere to be,” she told Finn. “I’ll meet up with you later, yeah?” She ran the other way before he could respond.

Ben was not in his office. 

“Are you looking for Professor Solo?”

Rey turned around to respond. Phasma stared down at her, eyes boring into her. The woman was a giant.

“He went to the library to use the printer for a few minutes, but he’ll be back soon. You’re welcome to wait out here.” 

“Thank you.”

Rey sat on a chair in the hall, reading for her homework. Ben was back in no time.

He walked past her without looking at her but returned a minute later. To say he looked startled would be an understatement. 

“R- Miss Johnson.”

“B- Professor Solo,” Rey corrected herself. She looked around and lowered her voice, fully aware that her voice was shaking. “I forgot my CD in your car. I was wondering if I could have it back.”

“Your CD? Right,” Ben muttered. “I can return it to you. Do you need it now or can I give it to you after class on Monday?”

“I can wait until Monday. Thank you, Professor Solo.”

Rey turned around, in time to miss the way his face fall as he heard her revert to his formal name. 

“Have you found anyone?” Rey looked back to him. She could have sworn she saw his shoulders tense up. 

“What do you mean if I’ve found someone?” Ben faced her again, remembering the morning after the school fair, when he woke up hungover and alone. The night after he had spoken to his father.

“To be your research assistant.”

“A few good people and a lot of bad ones,” he looked at the ground. “Good day, Miss Johnson.”

Rey hated the way they were back to formal greetings. 

 

“Miss Johnson.”

Rey stayed behind, waiting for everyone to empty the classroom. Just a few minutes earlier, Ben had told the classroom that Headmaster Calrissian had given him one more day to find somebody to work with. 

Ben held up a case. “You wanted it back.”

She reached out for it, taking it from his hands. Their fingers brushed slightly.

Rey’s heart stopped. 

It was the slightest touch. Ben didn’t even look at her. 

_The sun was setting as Rey stared out into the water. It was quiet, peaceful. There were few people around but she only saw one. The one person who was at her side, staring out into the water with her._

_"I never thought it would be this way.”_

_"You’ll never have to be alone again._

_Rey turned to the tall and dark-haired man next to her. He looked down at her and trailed her fingers down the scar on the side of his face. He looked down at her and trailed her fingers down the scar on the side of his face._

_“Neither will you.”_

_His lips lightly touched the palm of her hand._

“Miss Johnson?”

Rey blinked. Her thoughts had carried away with her. She was still holding onto the tips of his fingers as Ben stared at her in concern. Her eyes glazed over his face.

She didn’t answer. 

“Rey?”

“Ben?”

He gave her a small smile. “I need my hand back, if you may.”

“Oh!” Rey pulled away as if she’d been bitten by a wild animal. 

“Is everything all right?”

“I’m pulling through,” Rey lied. Truthfully, she missed speaking with Kylo. Maybe he had been in the same boat as she was right now- caring for someone who would never want you in return. 

“You didn’t apply for the position.”

“Have you gone through all the applications?”

“No,” he admitted. “I just haven’t seen yours yet and I went through everyone in my current class periods. I thought with the pay being what it was you would jump at the chance to leave your boss.”

“Like you’d ever want to be near me again.” Rey said under her breath.

“Did you say something?”

“No,” she turned around to leave the room. “Good day, Professor Solo.”

Ben watched her leave. "Good-bye Rey," he whispered into the empty classroom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this might have jumped around a lot. Hope it wasn’t too bad but I am trying to push things along a little more. Next chapter will go more to Ben on the night of the fair.


	14. Fall Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's POV from the fair until that Monday where Rey held onto his hand for a little too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! In-laws came and then my parents came and now I'm sick. But the husband works at a restaurant 3 days a week so I'll have time to write without him asking what I'm writing ;) . He's given me so many stories about where he works I almost want to start another Reylo AU because of it. But now I have more time to write!
> 
> This was unedited. All mistakes are mine.

The day of the fair…

“Hey Dad.”

Ben knew exactly what was happening on the other end. He heard his father grumbling a few choice words. Ben could even hear his mother asking her husband who was calling so damn late, though he wasn’t completely sober.

“Is everything okay?”

“I can hear how old you’ve become,” the words droned out of Ben’s mouth.

“What the hell kid?” his father sounded more awake now. “Why are you calling at this time anyway?”

There was no answer.

“Ben?”

“I do stupid things.”

On the other end, Han sighed. “It’s hereditary. How about you come by the house for dinner tomorrow and we can talk about this? Your mother and I need to get some sleep. I’ll have her do that text thing since you seem to be too drunk to process what I’m telling you.”

“Kay,” the word crawled out of Ben’s mouth. 

“Night kid.”

Ben slept in until late morning, seeing his mother’s text as soon as he looked at her phone. He vaguely remembered his father telling him to come by for something, but it was nice to be told for what. 

Then he saw the reasons for never having his phone nearby when he wasn’t sober. Or a remote control for that matter. 

“What the shit was I on?” Ben muttered to himself, scratching his head (which did no favors to his bed hair). He looked at his purchases and rentals from amazon video last night. He’d never seen so many sappy movies. 

_What the hell possessed me to buy Cinderella?_ Ben asked himself. He hadn’t seen that movie since he was a child. Then there was Phantom of the Opera, Snow White, Jane Eyre…Not even a campy old horror movie would excuse the purchases. The ones he’d bought were shipping out on Monday. Ben’s eyes glazed over as he went through the list. 

Not to mention he’d taken a screenshot of his purchases and sent them to his father of all people. Ben blushed even more when he saw the text. 

Ben Solo  
_1:33 a.m: I think she could like these!_

At least his father knew he was too drunk to think straight. The “she” part was bound to be brought up tonight. Ben had half a mind to crawl into bed and lie that he was too sick to come but then he knew the dinner would be brought to him.

Looking into the kitchen made Ben text his mother back to confirm he’d be there.

Rey’s notes were scattered around. On the counter, in his silverware drawer, and in unusual spots- the dishwasher (which thankfully had not been turned on last night) and the fridge. 

Ben read them through them all again. 

On one of the days she’d written him: **Can you keep a secret? I have a book of children’s stories and I have never seen any of them on a screen or in a play production. I always hear people talk about Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast etc but I never saw them as a child like everyone else did. I don’t want you to feel bad for you but that’s one secret. Now it’s your turn to tell me one.**

Ben couldn’t even remember what he had said in return. He knew it had something to do with the awkward stage he’d experienced in his younger years (but that was everyone), how he had taken martial arts when he was younger, and then telling her off all the films he had seen. At that time, he’d hoped she would join him to watch them. That wasn’t appropriate now. 

It was a shame. Rey was one of the few students in his classroom who gave answers that told him she had taken the time to study the material. Her accent had even made his guarded heart melt on the first day of class when his brown eyes looked into her hazel eyes. And all the times his eyes had caught her eyes looking at his lips when she thought he wasn’t looking. 

She was by no means small. In fact, she was taller than both the girls she ate lunch with. To him, everyone was small and _god_ he wanted her to have a decent meal. Her upbringing had definitely taken that away from her. 

That was partly why he took her to the drive-thru last night. 

Maybe it was why he’d bought so many movies in his state last night. Rey was hungry in more ways than one. She wanted more interaction in her life. Wasn’t that the reason she’d talked to him outside of class?

Ben cringed. He felt horrible for the way he made her leave his car last night but he wasn’t about to risk her education or his job for a little flirtation. Rey was a smart girl. Heaven knew it would one day get her away from that slim boss of hers and to a better job. Ben clenched his fists just thinking about the man.

Eager to get his thoughts away from the girl he now knew so much about, Ben started working on his classes. He thought he knew irritation but papers written last minute were becoming a new pet peeve.

How hard was it to write a few pages in two weeks?

Ben was all too happy to take out his red pen and mark the errors, topping it off with a nice big grade letter that was less close to a fail (or even a fail). 

Students from other years thought him too strict and humorless. Phasma hadn’t ever told him what she’d overhear in the girls room but Ben could only guess. He knew his looks were strange to most, even if there was occasionally a girl who believed he’d be her next boyfriend. He saw it this year and it wasn’t with Rey, but Sarah.

She tried too hard and he had no interest in loudmouths as it were. 

The next time he looked at his clock, the time read 5:15 p.m 

And his phone was bursting with messages, mostly from his parents. And then there were an obscene amount of emails from work. 

One was from Lando Calrissian. 

Ben- how you doing kid?? I’m coming to dinner tonight to see Han but I do need to talk to you too. Bring that bright personality of yours. 

Ben rolled his eyes. Uncle Lando had loved teasing him since childhood. 

Then there were emails that notified him of all the recent submissions. Not as last minute as the ones that would be turned in around 11 tonight so he gave credit to those students. 

Ben spent another hour planning lessons until he got ready to go to his parents. He’d sent a text to his parents saying he got their message and would be there around 7. They lived a little outside of the city. 

The sun was out so he rolled the windows down halfway as he listened to music. The colder days weren’t coming soon enough. He hated summer. Not only did it mean being bored for half of it, waiting for school to start again, but the strange looks he got for wearing black shirts and pants nearly exceeded the amount of looks his ears got in high school. He missed his leather jackets.

“Ben!” His mother opened the door before he could even knock. “I guess your father owes me a sushi dinner.”

“What do you mean?”

Before she could respond, Lando came to the door. “Your parents made a bet on whether or not you’d show up.”

Ben looked down at his mother, who wasn’t even trying to hide the smirk on her face. “That’s nice of you guys. What did you offer Dad if he won?”

“A massage,” she leaned closer to him and whispered, “you spared my fingers.”

Lando was beaming. “Don’t act grumpy kid. This will be you whenever you decide to listen to your parents and give them grandchildren.”

Lando wasn’t wrong. His parents brought up his love life (or lack thereof) a dozen times before they’d even had dessert. His father glanced at him knowingly once or twice but didn’t bring up the conversation from last night until later. 

After eating apple pie and listening to his father talk about work with his friend Chewie (they never called him anything else), Ben went outside to sit on the steps of the front porch.

The sound of a can opening about 10 minutes later brought Ben out of his thoughts. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Suit yourself kid. I can sit here until you do because I already know it’s about a girl,” his father sat on the step next to him. 

A good five minutes passed before Ben spoke. “I need to focus more on my job than on a person.”

“You never were a people person.”

Another few minutes passed before Ben found himself spilling everything. He never knew he could talk so much, yet he found weight on his shoulders coming off as he delved deeper and deeper into his story. 

When he finished, the only noise were the crickets on the country road that his parents house sat on. 

The screen door behind them opened. “It’s getting chilly out here. You two okay?” Lando poked his head out. 

“We’re good Lando. I’m just catching up with my son.”

“Suit yourself Han. I’ll need to speak to your son for a few minutes before he leaves but I can do that when you’re done.”

Han faced Ben once they were alone again, his son was staring at the ground and refusing to make eye contact with anyone. This was a much better way of discussing things than when they lived in the city and Han and Leia would see their son walk out the door and into the streets for hours during his school years. The arguments that followed when he returned still rang in Han’s memory. 

At least his son was better about telling them where he was if they asked. 

“Is she cute?”

Ben groaned. “Oh, come on. An unethical question, don’t you think?”

“You’re a Solo, Organa, and Skywalker. What ethics are we talking about here?”

Ben looked back to the door. “Lando needed to speak with me,” he stood up and walked back inside. 

Han shook his head. He’d seen the same thing when he first met Leia. Stubbornness and sarcasm were at the top of the list but none were more well hidden that the best of them all.

Compassion.

Back inside, Lando looked up with that huge smile that always irritated Ben when he was younger. 

“Well Ben here can tell you all about working at the school,” Lando said to Leia. “We always need the right amount of work study positions available. Every year, we have lots of applicants for each position. In fact, providing jobs at the school. There’s a lot of work to do to ensure everyone comes out as the best person they can be.”

“Oh sure there is,” Leia gave Ben a look that told him she was dying to get out of the conversation with this smooth talker. 

“Lando, you wanted to speak with me?”

“Ben, of course. If the princess here will excuse me,” Lando gave a bow to Leia, who rolled her eyes at the old nickname. 

The two men went into the kitchen.

“I want you to have a research assistant.”

The silence was nearly excruciating. Ben could hear the clock on the wall ticking loudly as he stood silently for a minute. 

“That’s funny. What is it really?” Ben asked, stone faced.

“Believe me, I’m not messing around,” Lando held his hands up in surrender. “As hard as that may be for you to believe. The First Order gets their school in the papers about how smart and unique the students and staff are and what happens to our school? I get smiles from men like Snoke that make me want to punch him right in the face…”

“What does this have to do with me? I broke ties with Snoke years ago,” Ben would normally be able to follow the man’s train of thought, but tonight he was lost. 

“I want that recognition.”

Ben held back an urge to roll his eyes to the back of his head. “So this is all because of pride?”

“If that’s how you see it. It’s about funding so we can build a new student center where kids can go to study in one room while their friends go bowling. It’s about funding for more updated books so you’re not buying them out-of-pocket. Yes, your mother told me that you’ve had to go to a store and buy books for your class.”  
And luckily, that was all his mother knew. 

“Come on kid. I’m asking you before I know you like research. You’re good at getting to know people without speaking to them. You’re an observer and I trust you to tell our students stories.”

“I’ll think about it,” Ben muttered. 

“Think about the students who come with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a few belongings while you’re at it. I want those students to enjoy the school they’re in and get the education they came for.”

Someone like…

Ben shook his head. He needed another good nights sleep. 

He made sure to say good-bye to his parents before he left. His father was still sitting outside, staring into space. Ben said good-bye to him and got into his car. The night was chilly as he drove back to his home. 

_“Ben?”_

_He couldn’t find her. There were hundreds of people in his way, if not thousands. He wanted to see her but he could only hear her._

_“I’m here”_

_Somehow she ended up next to him and everyone else had disappeared. He turned to look into her eyes. She gently placed her left hand on his neck and took his left hand into her right hand, placing it on her breast._

_She stood on her toes as her lips drew closer to his. “I’m always here,” she whispered, their breaths mingling as she closed the space._

“Bloody hell!” Ben woke up, halfway off the bed with his sheets flung around. It was just a dream. 

Rey. She was happy in the dream. 

Ben took out his phone, squinting into the bright light, and wrote: 

_I’ll do it._

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

German sex guy.

No amount of caffeine could have prepared him for this girls cluelessness. Ben was ready to punch Hux in the face, and Hux wasn’t even there.

And he could see Rey from where she sat. Not that it mattered. She hadn’t looked at him once since class started. Probably because his insomnia last night had caused him to write a note to Sunny saying they shouldn’t stay in contact. 

Then came the late nights and the poorly written resumes that went straight to the trash on his computer or to the recycling bin by his townhouse. 

Tell their stories. 

What the hell did Lando expect him to write and why didn’t he just ask the school paper?

Though look at the previous paper, Ben could understand why. The choice of topics was typically atrocious (did people actually care about ongoing specials at McDonalds?) and the writing came across as last minute I-forgot-this-until-two-minutes-before-it’s-due. 

Ben gave it some thought. He wouldn’t trust 99% of the students to represent the school properly. 

A random thought occurred to him that caused him to sit up straight in his chair (he’s tossed out over 100 applications by now). 

Rey’s CD was still in his car. 

Ben shook his head. _Can I never escape her?_. It was unlikely that she would forget about it. The look on her face when she took told him about it was the face a child made opening a Christmas present. 

He found out not much later that she did remember. She stopped by his office and looked at him with those doe eyes and reminded him about it. And he was stupid enough to ask if she wanted it now (he might as well have asked if she wanted to take a nice long walk with him to his car) or bring it on Monday. She chose the right answer. 

Then came Monday. She held onto his hand a little too long that day as he passed her the CD. She seemed distant even when he called her by her name. 

Then Rey said his name. 

And like a blubbering fool, he told her he noticed she hadn’t submitted a resume. The money would have helped her get out of Unkar’s grasp but the other half of his brain reminded him that distance was best right now. 

And once again, Rey chose the right answer. He never saw a resume from her and she came in and out of the classroom without so much as a glance at him or a word to anyone else. 

It was Ben’s least favorite week of the semester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for your support! I read all the comments :D. Anyone know a good tool to use to make a moodboard?
> 
> P.S Reylo seems to have moments from lots of movies, no? :)


	15. In Your Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never expected such support for something that started as a random idea in my head. Hugs and kissed to all!

Rey closed her book.

These midterms were going to be the end of her. Binks was expecting them to write an essay and study for the midterm at the same time. The man was insane. How did he expect anyone to pay attention to his lectures when he went off track or creeped around silent as a graveyard?

It had already been a long day at work. Not many people went into bookstores anymore but the one good thing was that it helped Rey get a lot of work done. 

Unkar had let her bring her laptop into work as long as she kept it out of view. 

Finn  
_4:43 p.m: I know who got the research job_

Rey responded right away. 

Rey Johnson  
_4:44 p.m: Who??_

Finn  
_4:46 p.m: Somebody named Jyn but Idk who that is. At least it wasn’t that airhead Sarah!_

Yes, thank god for that. She just hoped Jyn didn’t fall under that category. 

The next several hours crawled by and all Rey wanted to do by 9:00 was fall into bed. But she still had more work to do.

But by gods was she hungry. 

She couldn’t imagine anything more comforting than lying on the couch with a blanket and a nice hot dinner. 

She had no energy to dress up and go out after working all day. She was insistent that they go without her that night. Besides, she liked having some time to herself at home where she could enjoy a movie or a good book. 

Watching a movie was something she could do while doing homework. Fortunately, her roommates had a large collection of those. 

Pride and Prejudice sounded good to her. 

In fact, it was so good to her that she spent more time watching and eating soup than working. Kaydel and Rose came back halfway through the movie and joined her. Rose loved romances. She believed in happy endings. 

“You know, Halloween is coming up. We need to decorate,” Kaydel spoke up after the movie had finished. “Or we need to do something scary.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “You mean pay $50 to get chased through a haunted house by someone dressed as a vampire? Too expensive.”

“What about the corn maze?”

“I always get lost in those things,” Rose muttered. 

“You two are no fun,” Kaydel pretended to pout before reminding Rose, “but you were lost for less time than Finn was.”

Rose actually giggled. “I thought he would faint when he came out!”

“So what’s scary for the both of you?” Kaydel challenged. 

_Rejection._

“Asking somebody out for a date and being rejected. Actually, rejection.,” Rey’s mouth spoke before her brain could tell it to stop. 

For a moment, there was absolute silence as the three of them exchanged looks amongst themselves. Rey wanted to slap herself. Of course Kaydel had meant something scary in relation to Halloween. 

Rose was the first to speak. “O-kayyy. Not what she meant, but I like it! That’s a very common fear.”

“Well what are you scared of then?” Rey challenged. 

“Chainsaws,” Rose shuddered. 

Rey sighed. “What about something that could happen on a daily basis?”

“I could get attacked by a chainsaw any day!”

“Well not by us, so let’s be a little more realistic.”

Rose thought for a moment. “I guess losing my sister would be one of my greatest fears. That’s under the same category as losing my parents. Oh, and failing in school after putting so much blood and sweat into it. Starvation, drowning, being set on fire, and don’t forget getting stabbed in the shower…”

“I’ve got a better idea!” Kaydel interrupted, obviously not keen on the direction of this discussion. “Why don’t we all do something scary this Halloween but not make it Halloween related? Rose, do you think you could do something that’s terrifying to you that doesn’t involve a morbid death?”

“You want me to fail a class and waste all that money?”

“Well no, I wasn’t thinking of that-”

“You know what Rose could do?” Rey spoke up before Rose could get offended. “Have Finn or Poe take her to a haunted forest or house that has a chainsaw.”

Rose gave Rey’s idea a good amount of thought. “I suppose I could ask Finn. At least I won’t be the most frightened person in the room if he comes.”

Kaydel clapped her hands together. “Perfect! Now we need Rey to something.”

“Why don’t you do something Kaydel?”

“Don’t worry, I’m going to eat a burrito that made me throw up three years ago and I’ve been to scared to have it again since.” 

“Oh that’s easy,” Rey told her.

“And your task is easy.”

“Please no, it’s not easy for me like it is for you. Any guy would love going out with you, don’t make me do it,” Rey begged her.

“And you can’t ask Finn or Poe.”

Rey pointed to Rose. “But she can?”

“That’s true,” Kaydel gave it a thought. “But a chainsaw is different and she’s right, Finn is a coward with anything horror movie related so it will be funny.”

“Fine. I don’t know anyone, so I won’t make any promises.”

“All you have to do is ask somebody.”

There was one person that Rey could think of and her stomach clenched at the thought of asking him. Heaven help her but Rey Johnson was not going to back down from a challenge anymore.

 

**KR- I know what you said and I respect that. But I need your help. I told my roommates I would conquer my fear of rejection and I need somebody to come with me to dinner or frozen yogurt… Just one favor and we can call it good- Sunny**

With a deep breath, Rey printed the piece of paper in the school library before class and put it into her bag. 

She was anxious the whole period. Professor Solo dimmed the lights and turned the projector on. He looked exhausted as he explained Kohlbergs stages of moral development. She lost him at higher focused morality. Actually, she lost him about a 1/3 of the way through. He needed to wear blue button-downs more often. 

But then at the end of the period he explained what his research was on. $30 for any student who would sit down with Jyn or Professor Solo and give them their story (not all of it though) and tell about their educational experience. 

The school had more money to spend then Rey thought if they could pay students so well.

“If your parents pay for every little thing you do in your life, I don’t care to hear it. I’m looking for those who started from the bottom. You’re dismissed.”

That wasn’t what Rey had expected.

“I’ll do it,” Finn walked right up to Professor Solo. All he got was a blank stare. “The interview, sir.”

Both Finn and Rey watched as Professor Solo reached into a binder and pulled out a piece of paper. “What days are best for you?”

“I can do Thursday mornings.”

“Thursday morning it is. How does 8:30 sound to you?”

Rey could see the wheels turning in Finn’s head. By morning, he was hoping Professor Solo meant 10:00. On the other hand, there was no manual labor involved so it was an easy $30. 

“Yeah, okay,” Finn finally agreed. 

“Perfect. Just come by my office at that time.”

Finn left the room but Rey stayed behind. “The school has given you a generous budget for this project.”

“Not really,” Ben didn’t look up as he packed his bag. 

“Paying a student $14 an hour to be a research assistant and then offering each student $30 to be the lab rat is actually very good.”

“It’s not them.”

“What’s not them?”

Ben cringed, as if he realized he had said something he shouldn’t. “Please don’t say anything.”

A secret. Rey started to get excited. “I won’t.”

“Not all the money is coming from the school. They wanted to pay the student $8 an hour actually and $10 for the interview.”

“So-” the light went off in Rey’s head. “You are?”

“Would you be tempted by $10 to give your personal story?”

“No, but I don’t think I would give it anyway.”

He lifted his shoulder bag around his head to strap it on, giving her a quizzical look. “Why not? You’re much more interesting than just about everyone else here.”

They started walking to the door. Professor Solo held it open for her and let her walk through first. They walked through the hallway through the crowds of students and faculty going to their next period. 

“No, I’m not,” Rey said, looking anywhere else but up at him. 

She could see his shoulders shrug a little. “To me at least.” 

“I have to go,” Rey stopped walking and looked at him. “I forgot that I have to print an assignment from the library.”

Professor Solo stopped just a few feet from her. “I understand. Have a good day Miss Johnson, I will see you on Wednesday.”

Rey walked the other way, heat rising in her cheeks as she walked further away from Ben Solo. She never turned around and she never did ask him if he could explain today’s lesson again. He’d just tell her it was her own damn fault for not listening. The one good thing was that this lesson wouldn’t be on the midterm this Wednesday. 

So not only did she have to study hard until her brain exploded, but she realized she’d have to wait until next Monday to see if Kylo read her submission.

Rey studied hard the next two nights and approached Wednesday with confidence.

“I met Solo’s research assistant Jyn, just so we could confirm the appointment tomorrow,” Finn told her as they walked to class together. 

“Is Jyn a boy or girl? I can’t tell from the name,” Rey confessed. 

“A girl, and I must say,” Finn let out a whistle, “she’s really cute. She’s also got an English accent like you do.”

“That’s nice,” Rey muttered.

“Yeah, I don’t know how Solo keeps his composure around her. Professionalism probably. She’s a sophisticated one too,” Finn walked into the classroom starry-eyed. 

Rey zoned out from whatever else Finn was talking about. They sat in their seats and waited for class to start. Rey reviewed her notes for the midterm and then put them into her bag. She was not ready. 

Professor Solo went over the usual rules about plagiarism before handing them the test. This counted as 20% of the grade so Rey needed to focus. 

_I don’t know how Solo keeps his composure around her._

Rey let out a quiet groan as she put her hand to her forehead. 

The last thing she needed to hear were Finn’s words repeating themselves in her head. She just hoped Jyn had beauty and brains and common sense. She couldn’t be as clueless as Sarah and her friends.

Rey went through the true or false questions as best as she could. The multiple choice questions were much more difficult than Rey had anticipated. 

But the real bitch were the short answers. Rey hadn’t studied hard enough because she could barely focus on the questions. She could see Finn writing away out of the corner of her eye. He was going a mile a minute, as was the person in front of her. 

_She’s really cute_

Everyone had turned to stare at her. 

Glancing down, she saw her pencil lead had snapped off.

She looked up, wincing. Everyone else had turned back to their test. Professor Solo was still looking at her with raised brows. 

Rey looked into her bag for a back-up. She only had pens and she hated using those. Things got messy quickly if she made a mistake. 

That’s when she saw a pencil in front of her face. 

“Try not to break it please,” the deep voice told her before walking away. 

Rey blushed. Professor Solo’s hands were still as soft as she remembered. And, oh, did she remember (thankfully learning to properly muffle herself when she thought about them at night so her roommates couldn’t hear). 

The rest of the test went by just a little more smoothly than it had before, with people finishing and leaving in the last 10 minutes of class. It felt a bit warmer in the room though. Rey blamed the number of students (usually there were at least two people skipping per class period) even if that did seem unlikely. 

Rey finished two minutes before class. 

Finn was scrambling until the last minute. Rey sat in her seat and waited for him to finish, even if Professor Solo had said they could leave when they were done. 

She spend those two minutes studying Professor Solo. What was he like outside of the classroom? She’d gotten glimpses and he seemed hot one minute then cold the next. 

He looked up at her and she quickly looked back down at her desk. 

“Time’s up. Turn it in.”

She followed Finn to the front, dropping the pencil on Professor Solo’s desk and stealing a glance when he wasn’t looking.

“What did you think?” Finn asked her the minute they were out.

“I spaced out,” Rey admitted before groaning and shaking her head. “I knew the material Finn and I spaced out. At least you knew what you were doing.”

“Not really,” a guilty look crossed Finn’s face. “I wrote a lot but I don’t think I made any sense. I know I mixed up names and confused dates. Don’t worry, that was just the midterm. And what we learn from now until the end of the semester will be what’s on the final. So you can forget everything you learned up until now.”

“Are you sure?” Rey asked. 

“Were you not listening to him last week? He said the final isn’t going to be everything from the semester. It’s just from what we cover after the midterm.”

“Thank god,” Rey breathed a sigh of relief. 

“I’m sure you did just fine,” Finn gave her arm a comforting squeeze before heading to another class. 

Rey bit her lip. That was unlikely. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_“Would you be tempted by $10 to give your personal story?”_

Rey lay in bed that night, tossing and turning thinking about the conversation with Professor Solo from Monday.

_“To me at least.”_

At about a quarter past midnight, Rey gave up and turned on the lamp on her bedside, ripping out a piece of paper from the notebook she’d been doing her homework in earlier. She got up and retrieved a pen before climbing back into bed and jotting down notes for a good half hour. She read through it afterwards, racking her brain for anything that she might have missed. There were personal details Rey had no desire to divulge so they were left out but it looked good otherwise- nothing embarrassing or too revealing. 

She slept soundly the rest of the night.

There was something inside of her the next morning. Something in her made her walk towards a very familiar building and down a hallway she’d turned to before. 

“Phasma isn’t here if you’re worried about she graded your work. It isn’t my job to take complaints about that.” 

The voice was very clear and to the point. The person it belonged to was a girl with very dark brown hair and smoky eyes. Standing in front of her desk was a young man in his late 20’s (Rey was never good at guessing), with dark hair and eyes and slight facial hair.

“I’m not here about Phasma.”

“Thank you because I don’t think I could deal with one more drama queen today. I even had this sweetheart bring me Tylenol at 9:30 in the morning. I take it you’re here for Ben?” this had to be Jyn. She rubbed her forehead and closed her eyes, the boy next to her putting a hand on her shoulders in comfort. 

“Is he here?” Rey asked her. 

“He just met with a student named Finn. Is there anything I can help you with?” 

“I wanted to make an appointment with him. It only needs to be half an hour, for the research assignment.”

Jyn looked to the computer in front of her, typing and clicking away just a few moments later. “What’s your name?”

“Rey. R-E-Y.”

Jyn looked at her. “Rey, you said?” After getting a nod in response, she looked back to the computer. “What day did you want to come in?”

“I can come in Monday after later in the afternoon or tomorrow.”

How about tomorrow afternoon, around 4 p.m? I know it’s the start of your weekend but Ben is free around that time.”

Rey thought to her schedule. She worked Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday evenings so either worked with her. Monday was usually busy with homework though. “Yes, I can do that.”

Jyn nodded, typing away. “Okay, I have you down for 4 p.m tomorrow afternoon. Please try to remember it.”

“I won’t forget,” Rey promised. “Thank you.”

The boy in front of Jyn waited until Rey was out of earshot before turning to her. “He’s free earlier in the day, you know.”

“I know,” Jyn told him, nonchalantly. 

“So why did you lie?”

“Ben told me that there might be a girl named Rey showing up. He said to clear an hour in his schedule because she had more to share.”

“He knew she would come.”

“And he knew you’d come to visit me often without interfering in my work,” Jyn gave Cassian a cheeky smile. “It’s a good job and it pays well without killing me so I’ll still be able to meet you at the end of the aisle in April.”

Cassian took that as his hint to leave. “See you tonight?” he leaned over her desk. 

Jyn looked around to make sure nobody was around before giving him a kiss. “Yes.” She got a wink in return. 

_Tuesday Afternoon_

_Ben came into the office from class, carrying a large stack of papers with his glasses still perched perfectly on his nose._

_“Jyn, can you do me a favor?”_

_“Of course Ben. What do you need?”_

_“Sometime before Friday, there will be a girl coming to meet with me about the research project. I need you to make sure she has an hour to share her story, not just half an hour. Would you be able to make sure there’s sometime where I have an hour free every day for that? Her name is Rey. Spelt R-E-Y.”_

_Jyn wrote down the name. “I’ve got it.”_

_“Thank you. Let me know if she hasn’t come by Friday.”_

_“You’re that certain she’s coming? How do you know she will?”_

_Ben shrugged. “I just know. They don’t say I’m good at Psychology for nothing. And tell your fiancée he’s welcome to stop by so long as he doesn’t distract you from work for too long,” he went into his office without saying another word._

_“Yes sir,” Jyn muttered before responding to an email notification._

Back in another class on Thursday morning, Ben looked at his own work email, stunned. He had not expected this. Sunny, Rey, had written to him even though he’d cut off contact outside of class. 

And now she was…asking him out? 

He’d received the email from Jyn telling him about his 4 p.m appointment with Rey tomorrow so he’d been right about that part. 

The only not surprising thing about Rey’s question was that it was part of a bet. Nothing else. It wasn't anything she'd have written if she didn't want to win. 

Ben crushed the paper in his hands. 

A bet. 

The competitive side of him came out. Well if she wanted to use him for a bet, then two people could play the game. 

He began to write back, stopping as he looked at what he was saying. He stared at it, erased it, then wrote again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The “getting stabbed in the shower” references a very famous scene in an old Alfred Hitchcock classic (a good movie to watch on Halloween). Some of you might only know the show…
> 
>  
> 
> The next chapter is all Ben and Rey. And yes, she'll know very soon :)


	16. Move Along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a chapter of Ben and Rey getting to know each other more :)
> 
> All mistakes are mine.

3:56 p.m and Rey’s heart was already beating like crazy. 

3:57

3:58

Jyn wasn’t at that desk in front of his office. Rey looked back at her phone. She was on time and she’d come on the right day. 

Professor Solo’s office door opened. “Miss Johnson, come in.”

“Where’s Jyn?” Rey asked as she followed him inside.

“Jyn has class right now,” he said simply, sitting on a chair next to the bookshelf. “Make yourself comfortable, nobody wants to sit on the opposite side of the desk like they’re being grilled on homework.” 

Rey took the small couch by the door, on the side closer to Professor Solo’s seat. 

“You said you wouldn’t do this for any money.”

“I don’t want money.”

“I know that. So why the change of heart?”

“Because-” Rey hesitated. 

Professor Solo waited patiently as the clock ticked behind him. 

“I don’t know,” Rey finally admitted. “Maybe it’s because of what you said to me on Monday.” When a confused look passed over his face, Rey explained more. “You said I was more interesting than the other students, I disagreed, and you said that I was to you. Why did you say that?”

“That’s why you changed your mind?”

“Partially, but you didn’t answer my question.”

Professor Solo sighed, turning to face his bookshelf as he answered. “Have you seen the other students in the class? The ones who spend the whole period on their phones, the ones who can’t bother to remember small pieces of information? Those are the ones who don’t care about where they are. You don’t do that. You remember more than you think, your answers are well thought out on your assignments, and so far I’ve never been let done by anything you’ve turned in. But I haven’t graded all the midterms yet.”

“Don’t be too impressed yet. I don’t think I did well on the midterm.”

He looked back at her. “At least you showed up to class. I can’t tell you how many students miss the class but I’ll see them an hour later messing around with their friends outside.”

“But we pay for each class!”

He shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.” He leaned forward. “So why did you want to meet today?”

Rey took out the piece of paper from her backpack. “I wrote this when I couldn’t sleep,” she handed it to him, but he didn’t take it. 

“Tell me what it says. In your own words.”

Rey started telling him everything. How she had come from England with her parents when she was very young, how they left when she was five and didn’t leave her with any photos or written documents to remember them by, how Unkar raised her and kept her busy with maintenance work from a young age, and about school. Before she knew it, almost half an hour had gone by. 

“Sorry, I know that’s a lot to remember,” she apologized halfway through. She hadn’t asked him why he wasn’t taking notes, only asking her a few questions here and there. “Is everyone going to know this?”

“I don’t reveal names. If I had to use one, it would be a fake name,” he promised her. “I wouldn’t write everyone’s whole story either. I’ve had six people come in this week and I only plan to use tidbits of information.” He took a clipboard from his desk and scribbled quickly before putting it away. “I have one question right now while I think of it.”

“Okay.”

“How’s your nutrition?”

Rey was taken aback. Where had that come from? “It’s fine. Why?”

“You may not notice that you did this, but you mentioned eating both meat and rice with your hands in Middle School. Yet a few minutes before you said you were eating spaghetti with a fork and you made the twirling motion with your hand.”

When did she do that? Rey was so caught up with her story that she hadn’t even noticed what her hands were doing. 

“So?”

“Noodles are cheap but meat is not.”

Rey had no idea where he was going with this. 

“I’m saying he fed your poorly because he didn’t want to spend more than $2 on a food item your body needed when you were growing. And don’t argue with that,” he said as she opened her mouth. “You know perfectly well even low-income schools have knives and forks, or forks at the least.”

He got all of that just from her hand motions? 

“He hated spending money on unnecessary goods,” Rey whispered. 

“Keeping you healthy was unnecessary?” Ben raised an eyebrow. “I would think he’d care more with how much work he had you do. When’s the last time you ate a meal?”

“Lunch,” Rey lied. 

“That explains why your stomach has been growling non-stop since you walked into my office.” 

“Ok so I only had an apple,” Rey snapped. “What’s it to you?”

“I don’t need one of my best students to shrivel up and die before the semester ends. Or at all,” he told her. 

“I’ve made it this far.”

“You rubbed your forehead a lot as if you had a headache. I do that too when I get hungry and thirsty.”

He had her there. “Yes, I’m hungry and thirsty right now. I was finishing what work needed to be done over the weekend in case I couldn’t do it tomorrow.”

“Do you want to go the vending machines and get something to drink? I would rather you come here a few minutes late than come here hungry and thirsty.”

“No, I can wait. They overcharge for drinks and snacks here anyway.”

Her stomach chose that moment to disagree. Quite loudly. 

Professor Solo put his face into his hands and groaned. “Christ Rey. What sounds good to you right now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Steak, Italian, Chinese, Thai…”

Rey blushed. “I don’t even know what’s around, let alone what delivers. I’ve never had Thai before.”

“Thai food can be spicy.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Then maybe I should try to work up to that since I never had exotic spicy foods growing up.” An idea came to her mind. “Oh! There is something I’ve wanted to try but I always forget the name of it.”

Professor Solo looked up. “And what’s that?”

“You put toppings on them and roll them up. I think it’s more for dessert but um, I-I don’t know what they’re called. Kaydel told me once.”

“You roll them up?”

“I think so. I just remember Kaydel coming home with one and it had strawberries and Nutella on it. Maybe she didn’t wrap it up though. You know, now that I think about it, it was so messy it might have become unwrapped,” Rey noticed Professor Solo’s lip twitching as if he was trying not to smile. “What?”

“Are you thinking of crepes?” When Rey didn’t answer, he looked up pictures on his phone and showed them to her. 

“Yes!” Rey became excited. “Are they as delicious as they look?”

“Depends where you go. There are some that are very good and other places I would never step foot in again.”

“Can we go?” Rey’s mouth spoke before her brain could tell it to shut up. 

Now was a lovely time for the ground to open up and create a shrink hole large enough to swallow her whole. Rey looked at the ground, silently begging it to open. 

“Can _we_ go?” he asked, clarifying that he had indeed heard her correctly. 

“I don’t have a car,” Rey reminded him, trying to find a way to cover up her mistake. “I would just go in and get it to go, I promise. I won’t take your Friday night away from you.”

The silence was excruciating. 

Finally, he spoke. “I’ll make you a deal,” after she nodded, he continued. “Lando will have my head if he finds out I didn’t pay you like he and I agreed on for every student that came in, so this will have to count as your payment. I have the $30 right here and I will give it to you so you can use it to pay for the food.”

“How much these, um-?”

“Crepes. They’re about $5-$6.”

Rey’s mouth dropped. “How the hell am I supposed to spend $30 on crepes then? I’ll spend all night hovered over a toilet!”

“If it makes you feel better, the extra $20 is from me so you really only have to spend the $10 from the school.”

“That’s true,” Rey gave it some thought for a few seconds before giving up. “Let’s do it.”

They were both out of their seats in less than 10 seconds. Professor Solo locked his office door after collecting his book bag and the papers and books he needed for the weekend. The two of them walked quickly to the doors and to the car. 

It was as if they were trying to hide something. Rey let out a giggle the minute they got into his car. And she never did those girly giggles. 

Professor Solo, or Ben since they were out of the school, looked at her out of the corner of his eye. 

“What?”

“We just ran off like we were, I don’t know, not wanting anyone to see.”

He let out a chuckle. “Yeah that wasn’t very conspicuous. But it’s not as if anyone has a reason to think we should be.”

“Yeah,” Rey said more to herself than to him. 

The drive was silent for about 5 minutes before Ben was asking Rey more questions about her school experiences growing up. Rey told him about her first “friend” and what happened. It led to Ben telling her about his experiences. 

“I would think it was a good time for you.”

Ben scoffed. “Are Middle School or High School amazing times for anyone besides the popular kids?”

“They’re not bad for everyone.”

“So what happened with you?”

Ben shrugged nonchalantly. “I guess you could say it was the usual teenager stage. A lot of arguments with parents because I thought I knew better, the part-time job I hated, etc. I think what the majority of us hate is the dating scene. There’s pressure to go out on dates because we all want to have someone with us for homecoming or prom.”

“Did you ever go to those?” Rey asked him.

“No. I never really wanted to. I was terrible at being social and I was awkward looking. You can say my interactions with anyone was minimal.”

“You were awkward looking?” 

“Still am.”

 _No you’re not,_ Rey had to stop herself from saying. “I didn’t go either. I’m guessing you never dressed up for Halloween either?”

Ben rolled his eyes. “No, and after last time, I won’t be doing that again.”

“Oh this sounds like a good story,” Rey rubbed her hands together. “What happened?”

“I lost a bet with Phasma and had to wear the costume she picked out for me. Like I said, never doing that again.”

“What was the costume?” Rey pressed. She asked again when he didn’t answer. “Come on, what was the costume?”

Ben groaned. “I didn’t have to sit on a magic carpet but I still had to dress as Aladdin.”

Rey couldn’t help from laughing. “I’ve actually seen that movie. Rose has it.”

“Great,” Ben muttered. 

“Did they make you sing too?”

“I’d rather have taken my eye out, thank you,” he said defensively. “I take it you’re planning on dressing up for Halloween?”

“Yes,” Rey gave him a wicked smile. “And I won’t tell you.” He’d have to wait and see. She had his class on Halloween so it worked perfectly. 

“Fair enough,” they drove for a little longer in silence. Rey could swear they were at least 20 minutes away from campus. “It wasn’t your fault, you know. You shouldn’t blame yourself,” Ben was looking straight at the road, brow furrowed, chin leaning on his left knuckle as he drove with one hand. 

“What wasn’t?” Rey had an idea of what he was referring to, but she still wanted to hear him say it. 

She waited a moment before he answered. “Your parents leaving you.”

Rey looked back out the window. Over 15 years later and it still hurt to think about. 

He didn’t say anything more until they parked in front of a small restaurant. 

“Is this where the crepes are?” Rey asked him. 

“It’s the only place I could think of off the top of my head without having to look up the directions,” Ben admitted. “I don’t like asking for directions, even from my phone.”

“Every man I’ve met seems to prefer getting lost and figuring it out on how own than asking for directions.”

“Let me let you in on a couple of secrets. One, people will tell you where to go even when they don’t know so you can’t trust them anyway. Two, you may blame this on my father. He had to rely on maps in the 90’s and early to mid-2000’s so I can tell you numerous stories of arguments my parents had because he wouldn’t stop to ask when we got lost somewhere. Three- call it male pride. It’s like how men want to solve the problem without listening. Meanwhile, women are better listeners when someone comes to them than us men are.”

“I’ve noticed,” Rey said as she got out of the car. 

Ben held the door open for her as they walked in, even pulling her chair out for her as they were seated. 

“Just the menu for her, thanks,” he told the server. 

Rey scanned the crepe page once they were left alone. “These all have such strange names.”

“How so?”

She held the menu up for him to see. “Tinder crepe? Break-up crepe? There’s even one called single crepe! Summer fling, first date, true love, blind date…”

“Don’t go by the names, just go by what sounds good. They’re not asking you about your romantic life when you order.”

Rey nodded then closed the menu. Rey got water and Ben got diet coke.

“And I know what crepe I want,” Rey told the server. Ben could swear her face was much more red than they were a few minutes ago. “I want true love.”

The server wrote it down than said she’d be back soon with their drinks. 

Don’t laugh,” Rey warned Ben.

“Why would I be laughing?” Ben asked her, before biting the inside of his cheeks.

“I saw that smile when I told her what I wanted, don’t deny it!” Rey tried to cover her mouth in embarrassment as she smiled. It was a shame really. She had a beautiful smile. 

“If it makes you feel better-”

“Don’t do it.”

“-everyone wants true love.”

“Oh my god,” Rey muttered

The server brought their drinks. “Your crepe will be ready in just a couple of minutes,” she promised Rey

“Thank you,” Ben and Rey said at the same time.

The girl smiled and left again.

Rey drank half the glass in the minute that it took for the crepe to come out. Her jaw dropped as it was being set down on the table.

“How did you expect me to eat $30 worth of this?” Rey demanded. 

Ben shrugged. “Take some to go?”

“I’d be sick all night!”

“Nobody said you’d have had to eat it all in one night.”

“Well in any case, I’m glad I got you down to $10,” Rey picked up the fork. She found out quickly that cutting it with just a fork was unsuccessful. Whip cream ended up on her shirt and chocolate syrup on her lap.

“I’ll get you a knife,” Ben stood up and found someone who could give him a knife. He came back with it a minute later.

“At least I’m not using my hands,” Rey told him. 

He gave her a small smile. “True.”

“You didn’t want anything?”

He shook his head. “I’m not hungry right now.”

The conversation flowed easily between the two of them as Rey ate. She couldn’t even finish it- vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, and bananas on the crepe. True love indeed. 

Ben took the check when it came. 

“And now I’ve used all the $10,” Rey proudly declared. 

“How do you figure?”

“About $6 for the food, then the tax, and then the tip.” 

“My drink is included on the bill and that cost money. Since you spent more, I’ll pay the tip from my own wallet.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Fine, be that way. Just give me $2 on Monday.”

“Deal,” they stood up and thanked the server before leaving. 

He held the passenger door open for her.

“What are your plans for the rest of the night?” Rey asked him as he started the car up.

“Grading. I made a goal to have all the midterms done by Monday morning so I’m going to get a head start on those,” he replied, nonchalantly. 

“That’s it? Nothing fun?”

“Did you think faculty and staff got together and spent their weekends partying and eating copious amounts of pizza?” Ben asked her. 

“No, but I thought you’d at least have a little more fun on the weekend.”

“Well I sleep in more on the weekend and I will watch a few movies over the two days. That’s about as much fun as I am at my age, sorry to let you down.”

“You’re not old,” Rey assured him. “You don’t look or act it. Not that you’re immature,” she rushed to say. Far from it, but you don’t act high and mighty because of your position at the school.”

“Thank you?”

“No really. You’re mature but it’s also nice talking to you.”

Ben paused. He wasn’t used to being complimented like that. “I’ll take you back to your place now.”

 _Rey is the most goody two shoes here_

Rey could hear Kaydel’s voice in her head. She looked at the clock in the car. “It’s not very late.”

She was becoming a walking cliché. Spending time with the man that taught her class while pretending she hadn’t thought of him at various times of the day (and night). Now she was desperate enough to be with him on a Friday night even though they’d be breaking at least a dozen school rules. 

“No, it’s not too late,” he agreed.

“You haven’t eaten,” she pointed out. 

“I’ll go home and make something. Or I’ll order something to eat from a delivery business. Really, don’t worry about me.”

This wasn’t going to work. 

“What’s on your mind?” he asked her when she didn’t say anything else after he told her his dinner plans.

“Nothing. Just trying to decide what to do when I get home.”

“And you lectured me on not being exciting on a Friday night?” Ben glanced at her, amused. 

“I would think your life would be much more interesting than mine. I mean, aren’t you going on dates or going to fancy dinner parties with faculty for some awards ceremony the school will have on occasion?”

“I try to avoid those.”

“Because you’d have to wear a suit?”

“I’m sure you’ve noticed I’m not the most social person in the room.”

“What about dates?”

“I don’t think anyone cares to stare at my face for more than a few minutes these days,” he said, deadpan. Rey looked at him to see if he was joking but there was no smile on him. “The scar might be a little too long and deep for women to, as the phrase goes, dig.”

Rey disagreed. The scar added something. 

“I don’t think so,” she told him.

Ben didn’t respond. Rey stared at the window, watching a few drops of rain come down. 

“What about your dates on Friday night?” he finally asked her.

She shrugged, not looking away from the window. “I haven’t been on one in a long time. It’s not like I wouldn’t want to, but nothing has come my way.”

“Nothing?”

“Well I asked someone recently, but it was more because my friends pressured me to. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise. He said that we should stop talking but he was the only one I could think of. I’m not expecting an answer though.”

“I thought you said you asked.”

“I did. It’s complicated. It’s more like a blind date but I don’t imagine it will happen anytime soon. Not when there are hundreds of other more interesting girls he could spend an evening with.”

Ben thought for a moment. She was wrong of course, but there was no way to convince her otherwise.  
“I don’t think he would hate spending the evening with you,” he told her. 

“You’d be wrong,” Rey argued. 

Ben was at wits end. Not with her, but because all he wanted to do was tell her everything. As he should (maybe then she’d stop thinking so low of herself), but what would it mean for them at school? Ben would be in trouble with his superiors and possibly out of a job, and Rey’s peers and teachers would never take her seriously. 

Ben, with some help from Rey, found her apartment. 

“Thank you for the food and the ride home,” Rey hadn’t unbuckled her seat belt yet. I’ll see you in class on Monday.”

“Are your roommates waiting for you?”

She put her hand on the door. “No, they’re both out tonight.”

Ben gripped the steering wheel. _To hell with this _, he thought. Rey deserved to know the truth.__

__“You know, now that I think about it, I could go for some food. I know a really great place for dessert if you wouldn’t mind coming with me,” he called after her as she was getting out of the car. “Just a thought,” he added, wanting her to know that he wasn’t pressuring her. “I don’t mind cooking for myself either.”_ _

__“You’re changing your mind?” She asked._ _

__“It’s a suggestion Rey. You’re welcome to come and you’re welcome to stay at your home. It’s entirely up to you.”_ _

__She took him by surprise by not giving it any thought at all._ _

__“Can I change first?” She asked him._ _

__“Sure. Am I ok to park here?” he asked._ _

__“You’re not blocking anyone. I’ll be right back,” she promised before closing the door and running upstairs._ _

__Ben turned off his car and closed his eyes._ _

__It was going to be a long night._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for staying with me through all of this and for your patience! Hugs and kisses to all. I didn’t want them going from strangers to lovers super early as I like to develop it. 
> 
> Part 2 of the night will be up in the next couple of days. Where do you think he’s taking her for a dessert?


	17. Rolling in the Deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my defense, the House on Haunted Hill came out and the Daredevil Season 3 did, then writers block. So…yeah.

Part 2 of the “date.”

Rey ran into her apartment.

“Oh!” Kaydel was sitting on the couch with a guy she’d never seen before. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come in.”

Kaydel snorted. “It’s your apartment too,” she cocked her head to the side. “You look frazzled, what’s wrong?”

“I have somebody waiting for me, but I’ll be gone in a minute,” Rey promised, already going down the hall to her room.

“Woah, stop right there,” Kaydel followed her. “What did you just say? Somebody’s waiting outside?”

“It’s not a big deal!” Rey promised as the two of them walked into her room, with Rey opening her drawers. 

“It’s obviously a boy, and a cute one at that if you’re bothering to change. You didn’t even tell us you had a date tonight,” Kaydel lowered her voice. “So what’s his name?”

Rey blushed. “It’s not a date and it’s not like that. I’ve been wearing these clothes since early in the morning and I want to change. Is that so hard to believe?”

“Yes.”

“If that’s what you want to believe, then believe it,” Rey changed out of her shirt and into a clean one.

“So what’s his name?”

“It begins with a B and that’s all I will say.”

“Brad, Bert, Ben, Baxter-”

Rey had never been more grateful not to tell her roommates about a nights dream. It would have seemed innocent to them but the person in the dream would have caused questions to be asked. Not that she’d ever have a sex dream about him but straddling him while he sat on a chair and bringing his lips to hers as she tugged on his hair was enough to cause Rey to blush. 

_“Rey.”_

_Ben._

“Rey?” 

_Oh Ben._

“Rey?”

What the hell did Kaydel want? Couldn’t she see now was not the time? 

“Rey!”

“Oh! Yes, what were you saying?”

“I was asking if any of the names I listed were the right ones.”

“I wasn’t even listening to what you were saying before.”

Rey ran down in record speed. 

Ben was leaning back again his seat, eyes closed. He sat up when Rey knocked on the window. 

“Sorry, one of my roommates was home so it took a little longer than I expected,” she explained, trying to catch her breath. “What?”

Ben was staring at her. “You changed.”

“Sometimes I just need a fresh change of clothes. Not a privilege I had much growing up so it’s nice to have now.”

He nodded, looking back to the road as he turned on the engine. “You look nice.”

Rey shrunk into her seat. _Oh god, what if he thinks I changed because I’m desperate to impress him?_ She smiled at the silly thought. He wasn’t about to think that because it wasn’t true. “So where are we going?”

“If you don’t mind, I need to eat something solid before I eat any sweets. How are you holding up? Are you hungry? A crepe is not a substitute for a meal.”

He was determined to feed her, Rey noticed. 

“I think I’ll be okay for a little longer. I’m still full,” she told him truthfully. 

Ben pulled into the streets. “Do you think you’ll want to eat more later?”

“Maybe, but not for another or two,” Rey watched him focus on driving. “Why did you ask me to come with you when you said I should just go home?”

He seemed nervous. “It’s complicated.”

“How?”

He didn’t answer her for several moments. “I guess you could say it’s because of my position at the school. Look, I don’t think I can explain it in words, but I promise you’ll know soon.”

Rey gave him a puzzled look. “Okay…”

“Please don’t take it the wrong way Rey. I’m not trying to scare you, I just cannot find the proper way of explaining myself. I hope you can understand that.”

Rey never knew somebody could be as bad at her in communicating. Maybe they had more in common than she thought. 

“What was your college experience like?” she asked. 

“It wasn’t interesting.”

“How so?”

Ben could have sworn they’d already talked about this. “I stuck to myself and talked to Hux when I had to. Nothing other than that. It was the same as High School, just different people. Why do you ask?”

Rey shrugged. “Just making conversation.”

“Anything else you want to ask while we’re at it?”

“Worst date you’ve ever been on?”

Ben thought for a moment. “I would say the one where she doesn’t show up but that’s not a date if the other person skips out. I can think of many others but I don’t like talking about them.”

“That’s rough,” Rey kept a straight face through the lie. She’d done the same thing not too long ago. She knew it had happened once to Rose, where her date never showed up or sent her a message to explain his absence. 

“What about you?”

Rey shrugged. “I haven’t been on enough to have a list of worst experiences. The lack of experience probably makes me pathetic, I don’t know.”

“You’re not pathetic, Rey. Who told you that?”

Well that wasn’t the only thing she’d heard about herself growing up, but it was one of the words on a very long list. 

“You can’t listen to everyone else,” Ben spoke again once she didn’t answer. “If you did, you wouldn’t be where you are now. I let people get into my head when I was younger. It eventually stopped, but it was a long road and a lot of apologizing to those I hurt over the years. And apologizing is not a strength I have.” 

“I guess you could say there are two things that I’m good at. One is fixing broken things, and the second is waiting. After all, I’ve only been waiting for my parents to come back for 15 years. Not many people would hold onto that kind of hope.”

“15 years is a long time.”

They drove the rest of the way in silence. After arriving at a small diner and ordering dinner for himself, Ben struggled to make conversation. Even Rey could notice that something was off with him. The situation wasn’t ideal (the amount of school rules they were probably breaking by driving out of town and eating together on a Friday night had to be high), but there was no harm in talking to someone who wasn’t judging you by your past. 

“Where do you think you’ll go once you graduate?” Ben asked her between bites. 

“I never gave a thought about it, to be honest,” Rey answered truthfully. I don’t know where I’ll be working, or living, and I don’t even know where my friends will be. I think they will stay around here.”

“Will you stop working for that filth?”

Rey nearly choked on the sandwich she tried to convince Ben not to buy her. It wasn’t that she disagreed, it was just not what she thought he’d say.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concerned.

“I’m sorry,” Rey said, between coughing. “I just was not expecting you to say something like that, is all.”

“You haven’t been hearing me all semester then,” Ben told her, the smallest smile forming on his face. “But really, will you?”

“After my parents left, he fed me and clothed me.”

“And treated you like garbage.”

“Helped me earn money-”

“Made you do heavy labor starting in Kindergarten-”

“At least I’m not dead on the street!”

“There is that, yes, but did he really have to do all that with you? I give him some credit for taking you in after your parents left, but he did not treat you well. What kind of guardian makes a child work 12-hour days with scraps for food and tools for playing, sleeping in a bed that kept you cold in the winter?”

“It was better than the alternative,” Rey argued. “And I have what I need now. Scraps is better than starving to death and being found by people who never knew your name. I know it’s very different than what everyone else in school has grown up with, but I survived what most people would not be able to.”

Ben had to admit she had him there. Unkar was nominated for Worst Guardian in Ben’s mind but at least he had been a Guardian at all and kept Rey from dying. Though one could argue that Rey kept Rey from dying, Unkar just kept her out of the streets. 

“They have good pizza here,” Ben said more to himself than to her. “Should I get a slice?”

“If you want. I’m not your mother,” Rey said between bites. She would never have admitted it, but she had gotten hungry again once they had parked. It was almost as if he knew, since he had her order before he got anything for himself. And then he paid for the both of them. 

“I think I’ll get one,” he said. “Do you want one?”

Rey shook her head. “I’m okay, thank you.” She watched him while he was in line. His fingers would not stop twitching, his right foot kept tapping…something was off. 

_He could get in trouble with the school for this,_ the sensible part of her brain told her. The other side was just too busy enjoying the time out with someone who wasn’t paying for her because he was looking for a hook-up. 

That alone brought comfort to her. That and the fact that he wouldn’t get in trouble unless someone in their class drove out of their way to get a pizza and a sandwich.  
Ben was still eating the pizza when they walked out. 

“Do you want a bite?” he offered the pizza to her. “It’s good, I promise. The closest to New York style you’ll get in these areas.”

“Oh. Um, sure,” Ben brought the pizza closer and Rey leaned down and took a bite. “Mmm!” She closed her eyes. “Wow, you weren’t kidding. I’ve never been to New York, but if their pizza is that good then I’m going to go one day.”

“You should. It can be dirty and smelly like any other city, but there’s a lot to do. And more places to eat than here,” he waited until she swallowed. “Do you want some more?”

Rey nodded eagerly. Ben held it out for her.

She blushed. “Can you lower it a little? I can’t reach that high.”

Ben lowered his arm and brought it closer to her mouth. “Better?”

She gave him a smile before taking a bite. He really did have good taste in food, she had to give him that. 

Ben raised his hand to her then lowered it just as quickly. “You have sauce,” he pointed to the left side of his lips. “Right there.” Rey would swear the tips of his ears were red. 

Rey put a finger on the spot he was pointing to on himself and quickly licked it off. He stared at her then shook his head, taking himself out of the daze. 

“I should be taking you back now,” Ben said quickly. “It’s getting late and it’s a school night and I’m sure you have a lot to do.”

“It’s a Friday and no, I don’t.”

“I’m sure you have many other things you’d rather be doing than this. You have friends waiting for you after all. Don’t you have work tomorrow too?”

Ben was acting strange again as he walked to his car in a hurry. “I do have work,” Rey told him. “But I don’t think Kaydel and her date are waiting for me,” she chuckled at the thought. I think they’ll be glad that I’m not there, because that gives more time to themselves. And Rose is out somewhere so she’s not waiting on me either.”

“Nonetheless, I should get you back. It’s been a long day with school,” he wasn’t looking at her as they settled back into his car. 

“What about that thing you were going to tell me about?”

He placed the key in the ignition and kept his hand on it. “Right,” he said softly. “Right, yes, that. I did promise, didn’t I?”

“You did, and I think I’m a little too full for dessert. So will you keep your promise like you said?”

His shoulders slumped. “I will.” 

They started driving, Rey’s anxiety going up as the drive went on. What the hell was he so nervous about anyway?

“So were there any bad dates?” It was Rey’s attempt to keep the air around them from becoming too dreary.

“There were.”

Rey waited. Maybe he didn’t want to talk.

“I cut my lip right before a date,” Ben admitted. “I know that’s not exciting but I did answer the door with a bleeding lip and chin.”

“What did she say?”

“She just looked surprised and didn’t look above my neck for the next few minutes after that. We went on a second date but then when I called her for a third one, she told me that we should just be friends because she didn’t feel that way about me.”

“At least she was honest.”

“At least she was, yes.”

Rey watched the scenery go by. If Ben had just been another student, he would be a wonderful friend. He was as awkward as she was, but he was smart and kind. At least, he had been kind to her except for that time a few weeks ago. But Rey was forgiving (or she wanted to be). It was something she’d learned to be when she was growing up.

“Where are we going?” she asked Ben as they got closer to home. 

“Where I promised to take you,” he told her. Rey started to become nervous until he turned onto a familiar looking street. Rey was trying to remember just when she had last been here. It wasn’t one she walked down to work or school…

“It’s to your right,” he told her, pulling into a small shopping area. 

Rey looked closer. There was one place that she did recognize, but she’d never even gone inside of it. 

This wasn’t possible, she was being silly. It was probably a very popular place for people in this town to go to. 

“You never went in that day, but I think you know exactly where we are.”

He couldn’t even look at her as he stopped the car and turned the lights and engine off. He couldn’t see her face right now, but he could imagine what it was like. 

“You asked me one time how I managed to stop letting bad people affect me. I let the past die,” he told her. 

Rey was too busy staring in front of her. 

“You should do the same,” he continued. “Let the past die.”

“I know those words,” she whispered. 

“Rey-”

She turned to him, her face getting red from anger. “Please tell me that this is a joke and I mentioned this place earlier today.”

“You didn’t. It was after your work one night and I remember looking at my watch and wondering if you were just late. You never showed so I left. I always knew that Sunny was a fake name but I found out her real name that day of the festival You didn’t mention that today so how else would I know?”

She looked back in front of her. “Kylo?”

“Just the name Snoke gave me in school. I don’t know where it came from,” he answered, knowing she wasn’t asking him where the name came from. 

Rey rounded on him. “You have said some really nasty shit to people in that paper. Is that what Kylo is, just Ben Solo’s big bad wolf coming out to play?”

“Better than bar fights, wouldn’t you say?”

“You. Lied!”

He nodded. “I know.”

“Why? Why was it so hard to just tell me? I would have never told anyone! Not even your Uncle Lando,” Rey’s face was more and more red by the second. “So what did you end up writing to me this week? I can’t wait to read all about what Kylo has to say,” she spat, unaware that her voice was breaking. 

“I was going to say something else than what you’ll see, but I couldn’t do it,” he said, quietly. 

“You lied,” Rey repeated. 

“And you never showed that day, or else you would have known the truth,” Ben snapped. It wasn’t fair to do that but he couldn’t stop himself. “Yes, I did lie and it was for a good reason.”

“So lying is for the greater good? Since when?”

“Yes,” Ben defended, and he truly believed. “Maybe I was trying to save face, I don’t know. But it would have hurt you in the long run. The school would never have taken you seriously.”

“It was an innocent mistake! Don’t say you were protecting me when you were only thinking of yourself. You knew the day you drove me home and you _still_ lied to me! What else have you lied about?”

Ben cringed. As his parents would say, he’d dug his own grave and buried himself too deep in it. 

“Rey-”

She looked out the window. “I want to go home.”

“Rey-”

“I want to go home, Kylo!”

She didn’t look at him or speak to him the whole ride home. Ben didn’t point out that she had called him by his pen name. 

Rey was unbuckling her seatbelt before the car was at a complete stop. She didn’t say a word as she walked up the stairs, instead choosing to turn to him once she’d reached the building doors. They shared one last look before she went inside. 

Ben drove home in nothing but silence. He’d deserved it. 

He’d messed up multiple times. Only this time, Rey wasn’t going to be so forgiving. He remembered the look in her eyes when she had turned around to look back at him. 

There had been no hatred in her eyes. But there was no compassion either 

Ben couldn’t even sleep that night. He may have dozed off for half an hour at one point, but he couldn’t remember. By 2 a.m, he gave up.

Rey’s face was burned into his brain. 

That look in her eyes when she left, her finger touching her lips and going into her mouth, the faint smell of soap he could smell when he saw her at work…

Ben shook his head. He needed to think of something else right now. 

There was almost no food in the fridge so he wasn’t going to eat and nothing was open that he would bother getting dressed for. And to hell with the drive-thru overrun by college students out partying late.

Maybe the guilt was his reason for opening up his laptop when he got home, sending an urgent message to the editor of the school paper, and changing his response to Rey that was originally meant to be published Monday morning. Or maybe it was just to make himself feel better (the pessimistic side would take care of himself first). He erased everything and wrote the two words he still struggled to use as an adult, thinking of the look Rey had given him as she went back inside her apartment.

It wouldn’t help much, but it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It can only go up from here ;)
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes. Hope this isn't terrible and hopefully the writers block stays away!


	18. Hungry Like the Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time jumping so we can get into the holiday season 😊

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope my fellow Americans enjoyed their Thanksgiving! All mistakes here are mine.

What a shitty weekend. 

Rey went to work, did her job and her homework, and then went home to do more studying. She had agreed to go get dinner with Kaydel, Rose, Finn, and Poe. Half the dinner was spent glancing at the door, wondering if fate was going to bring Ben Solo through the door like it had done those times at her work.

It never happened. 

She did, however, nearly break a glass by thinking about Friday afternoon. He’d interviewed her and talked to her like he had known nothing before. Ben knew everything. He knew about her favorite books, where she wanted to visit, her childhood, how old she was when her parents left her behind.

He knew _everything_.

And Rey had nearly crushed the glass in her hands thinking about that. 

Her emotions came crashing down on Sunday. She’d been lied to, like she always had been before she came to school here.

The last thing she wanted to do was see his face on Monday. Rey was more forgiving than most, but she didn’t want to have to sit through his class today.

“Morning everyone!”

Rey looked up. That voice was too high to be Ben’s. And he didn’t have an accent. 

“Mister Solo is not feeling well today,” Phasma told the class as she dropped a book onto the table. So I will be answering questions as we work on Chapter 12, Psychological Disorders. Mister Solo apologizes and says your midterms will be returned to you on Wednesday. Everyone ok with that?”

Rey took out her book. Typical, hiding because he couldn’t face her. 

Maybe he really is sick, she scolded herself. 

“Who can tell me where you left off?”

Phasma taught decently on her own. Rey wrote down the homework assignment for the next class and went about that day and the next. She even cut off Finn he asked if she’d read what her “favorite school writer” had put in the paper that Monday. She didn’t care to read it. 

At the urging of both Rose and Kaydel, she went to school dressed in her costume (thank god she had a black jacket to put over it). All she wanted was to have the floor swallow her. Finn was already smirking. 

“Obviously not something you picked for yourself,” Finn turned around in his desk to talk to her. “This has Kaydel written all over it. Rose would have made you dress like a princess or a fairy or something.”

“They dressed up for school today, so I showed them my support,” Rey muttered. More like coerced into it. 

“You’re one of few then. Just make sure the big bad wolf doesn’t snatch you up in the forest. Or does he do that in the house? I can never remember…”

“Settle down,” came the voice of their professor. “Everyone be in your seats, please.”

Rey shrunk in her seat. Her cloak and skirt went down to her knees, and the socks went up to her knees. 

“Hood down, please, person in the red.”

First thing he had said to her since Friday. Rey could feel the stares on her as she put the hood down. She was going to kill Kaydel for dolling her up with make-up and curls. 

She didn’t even look up until Ben started speaking again (and it was a good awkward 10 seconds before he did). She wasn’t sure if he was surprised to see her dressed up, but she didn’t look to make eye contact. 

Finn slid her a note when Ben was writing on the board. 

_If I could wolf (pun intended) whistle, I would_

Rey rolled her eyes, hearing Finn’s chuckle. 

She kept her eyes to her notebook, looking up only if she missed something, and quickly looking back down when Ben turned around. Her face was probably as red as her cloak and skirt 20 minutes in. She wasn’t sure if it was embarrassment or something else. 

She looked blankly at her notes. 

_I don’t understand a word of what I’ve been writing,_ she thought to herself. 

Sensation and Perception.

_But what about them?_

She had a few notes on sensation but not on perception. She shrugged. It was possible Ben hadn’t gotten to it yet. 

Anyone want to tell me about the three steps involving sensation? It might help with the project if you pick this topic.”

Rey looked up with a blank stare. What did he just say? She looked at the back of Finn’s head with panic-stricken eyes. Another student answered the question that had just been asked, but Rey was too busy trying to remember the word “project” being mentioned before. Surely she would have heard _that._

She wanted her laptop from home so she could look up the syllabus. Obviously, there was something she’d missed. 

Ben’s words went over her head. She was already lost and she wasn’t about to raise her hand and let everyone know that. Finn’s notes were her only hope now. 

“Perception is the way we interpret the five sensations and make sense of everything around us.”

Rey looked to the board and wrote what she could. He lost her at sensory systems. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you mean by vestibular sense?”

Shit. Rey only meant to think that and figure it out on her own. She hadn’t even raised her hand. At least there wasn’t much time left in class. 

“The vestibular system monitors the awareness of body balance and movement.”

He’d lost her. But she would just look it up later. 

Of course, Rey’s mouth chose to speak a few minutes before class ended, and before her brain could tell it to stop. 

“Could you explain more about the project?”

Ben didn’t look at her as he erased the board. “I see you chose not to listen, Miss Johnson.” Rey bit her cheek, trying hard not to tell him that was uncalled for (albeit true). “Would somebody kindly paraphrase what I said earlier?” Nobody answered, and Rey could almost hear him roll his eyes before he turned around. “It’s an individual project that will be turned in the beginning of December. Using Excel or Powerpoint, treat me like a student and teach me one chapter of your choosing. I am willing to offer extra points to anyone who presents, but it is not mandatory. It’s an early Christmas gift to those who are worried they won’t do well on the project and I will have to give approval first.”

_So it won’t be allowed to those who do it last minute_. Rey was unsuccessful at hiding the small smile on her face, as she pictured him saying that. Because she had a feeling that’s what he was thinking. 

At least this gave her something to do during the quiet hours at work. 

The class was dismissed shortly after. Rey looked up to meet Ben’s eyes as everyone else around them was packing up. 

Rey stayed in her seat as they maintained eye contact, everything else around becoming a blur, her heart rate starting to speed up on its own accord.

Something in his eyes…

His eyes that just looked up and down so fast that she would have missed it if she looked away for even a second, and nobody else even saw because nobody was looking. 

His gaze was hungry- and knowing. 

And Rey couldn’t look away. 

“You coming?” 

Finn was staring at her, concerned. 

Rey looked up at her friend and then back to the front of the classroom. Ben was packing up in a hurry.

“I’m coming,” Rey put everything into her backpack. Ben was already out of the room by the time she was done. 

“So what chapter do you think you’ll cover?” Finn asked. “The one where little Red Riding Hood plays mind games with the wolf and eventually has him give up Granny?”

“Oh please,” Rey nudged him in the side. “Even I know that’s not how it goes.”

“It could be! There are about 100 versions of that story. Some don’t end as well, but I think Granny gets eaten in every version.”

“Why are we talking about this?”

Finn shrugged. “I just don’t know what I want to talk about. Maybe we can choose the same chapter and work together? Not to copy each other, but I think I’ve gotten lost a dozen times in class this semester, so a second brain can’t hurt.”

“Maybe,” Rey said. “I don’t know what I want to study more in-depth though.”

“I wish we could do this instead of the final. He’s going to kill us with that, I know he is. What if we get an A on the project and present? That would be amazing.”

“That would be nice,” Rey agreed. “I wonder if he would approve of somebody presenting even with a good project?”

Finn’s face fell. “You’re right. This is Ben Solo and he’s only been nice enough to a select few. He seems to like you okay.”

Rey stopped walking. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Finn held his hands up in defense. “Just compare the way he treats Sarah and the jocks to how he treats you. He seems to lose patience with half the class, but he didn’t bite your head off when you asked about the project.”

“You didn’t hear him, did you?”

“In his defense, you did zone out. He’s embarrassed other people for simpler things.”  
Embarrassing other people seemed to be his thing. He really seemed to enjoy picking on Mitaka, whoever that was. 

Rey nearly told him that Ben was the Kylo that he would screenshot for her on Monday mornings in the summer. The Kylo that made her laugh, cringe, smile, and facepalm throughout her first two years at the school.

And now there was something in between her legs.

Shit.

His face had been in her mind and her body had decided to give her an early Halloween scare. She was supposed to be mad, but her brain didn’t seem to be on the same page as other parts of her body.

_Please god, don’t let Finn notice._

“Rey, are you feeling all right?”

“I have to use the restroom,” Rey told him. Without any more explanation, she ran off. 

Of course there were other girls in there, but there was a free stall in the corner. Rey went into it and clicked it shut.

This was humiliating. 

All it took was the dark look in Ben’s eyes at the end of class and now she was standing in a stall, taking deep breaths.

This was not going the way she thought.

At some point she was going to get desperate enough for a vibrator and god knows she wasn’t the type to buy one. She’d been too busy surviving to worry about those things when she was growing up. 

She cleaned up, calmed down enough for her heart rate to slow down, then came out of the stall and washed her hands. She spent a few seconds looking at her own reflection.

What was happening?

Rose Tico  
_10:24 a.m: Hey! Kaydel and I want to eat out for dinner tonight. You in? ___

__Rey stared at the text._ _

__Oh, right. Halloween._ _

__Rey Johnson  
_10:26 a.m: No parties you and Kaydel want to go to?__ _

__Rose Tico  
_10:28 a.m: Surprising, right? I know we just went Saturday night but I think it would be fun. Girls night!__ _

__Rey walked out of the restroom and sat on a chair in the hallway, watching students go by._ _

__Rey Johnson  
_10:29 a.m: I work Tuesday-Thursday nights. Sadly. _____

____Rose Tico  
_10:32 a.m: Oh right! Wish someone could cover for you. :/__ _ _ _

____Rey Johnson  
_10:34 a.m: Me too. Hope you two have fun!__ _ _ _

____She needed a new job.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Halloween wasn’t any fun (though Rey had never celebrated it anyway). She was tired by Friday nights, home late Saturday nights, and working a lot when she could squeeze in time._ _ _ _

____By mid-November, she needed a whole day of sleep. She still hadn’t decided what topic to choose for Ben’s class either. At least her engineering classes and weight lifting class were going well._ _ _ _

____The days were shorter and colder. Everyone was getting excited for the holidays, but Rey couldn’t bring herself to be. The holidays meant nothing growing up._ _ _ _

____And now her friends were going out of town for both Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. Finn was going to stay for most of those days and Poe wouldn’t be gone the whole time. Rose and Kaydel would be though._ _ _ _

____Their apartment would be very quiet. At least Rey would have time to catch up on movies._ _ _ _

____She stayed quiet during classes (she was starting to miss talking to Ben) and steered away from conversations involving family and holiday vacations._ _ _ _

_____You’re not alone._ _ _ _ _

____“Hey!”_ _ _ _

____Finn’s voice broke her out of her funk as she stared blankly in front of her with homework on her lap. At least she was able to get work done in between classes._ _ _ _

____Rey looked up and gave him a small smile. “Hey.”_ _ _ _

____“I had a great meal recommended by your paper boyfriend,” Finn announced out of the blue, taking a seat next to her._ _ _ _

____“Paper boyfriend?” Rey asked, confused._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, Kylo.”_ _ _ _

____“He’s far from-”_ _ _ _

____“The place is called Kanatas,” Finn wasn’t listening as hearts appeared in his eyes. “I grabbed some lunch there with Rose on Saturday, before we all go away for the long weekend. And let me tell you Rey, the food was some of the best I’ve ever had.”_ _ _ _

____“Kanatas? Where is it?”_ _ _ _

____“Not far from here. It’s about a 20 minute walk from where you girls live. Kylo said he goes there every Friday night, so I checked it out. I think Kanatas is usually open from 7 in the morning until 10 at night, but Rose and I played it safe and went for lunch. It’s got a really homey feel to it.”_ _ _ _

____“What food do they serve?”_ _ _ _

____“Home cooked food, nothing fancy. Chicken and rice, rolls, tomato soup with sandwiches, etc. We can go if you want, while everyone is on break.”_ _ _ _

____“Okay,” Rey agreed. “That would be nice.”_ _ _ _

____She looked up the place online when she was at work. The owner was a small woman named Maz, whose family had owned the restaurant for generations. The food looked good in pictures and by description. The little restaurant was open later on Friday and Saturday nights._ _ _ _

____School was out the day before Thanksgiving. It was raining that morning as Kaydel said goodbye to her roommates._ _ _ _

____“Don’t be afraid to bring anyone over,” she gave her friends a wink as she said this._ _ _ _

____Rose snorted. “You know it. There’ll be a new man here every night,” she said sarcastically._ _ _ _

____“You’re leaving tonight. I meant Rey.”_ _ _ _

____Rey shuddered. “I won’t invite any strange men in here, I promise.”_ _ _ _

____“But you’ll be by yourself! Honestly, I think I would be ok if you and someone special watched a movie together on our couch or cooked dinner in our kitchen. Anything else will have to go to your room.”_ _ _ _

____“Kaydel!” Rose laughed._ _ _ _

____If any guy was ever there for Rey, it would be a one-time thing. She would say the wrong name in the middle of anything remotely sexual._ _ _ _

____“Happy Thanksgiving. I love you both,” Kaydel closed the door after herself and her suitcase, heading down to drive to her family’s house._ _ _ _

____Rose looked down the hall. “I guess I should make sure I have everything packed. Mind if I put on some music?”_ _ _ _

____Rey shrugged. “Go ahead, I’m just going to work on some homework.”_ _ _ _

____“Now? Enjoy the days off! At least wait until Friday,” Rose pleaded. “I thought you’d go to Kaydel’s house this year for the weekend.”_ _ _ _

____“She asked. I just wouldn’t feel comfortable intruding or being around people I don’t know who enjoy the holiday.”_ _ _ _

____“I wish I wasn’t flying out, or else you could have come with Paige and I.”_ _ _ _

____“I’d be intruding then too.”_ _ _ _

____“You never could, Rey. At least Unkar closed the store today until Saturday,” Rose gave her a smile as she went into her room._ _ _ _

____It was money Rey could have used. At least Unkar always gave her a gift card as a Christmas gift. It was never more than $15 though._ _ _ _

____Speak of the Devil. He was calling her._ _ _ _

____Tempted not to answer, Rey picked up after several rings._ _ _ _

____“Hi Mr. Plutt.”_ _ _ _

____“Business has been slow.”_ _ _ _

____Hello to him too. “I know, but it’s also the holidays. It usually picks up around this time of year. I’m sure it will again.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m giving you notice.”_ _ _ _

____Rey inhaled. “Notice?”_ _ _ _

____“I have to give an eight week notice or some such trash. I’m going to close the place in eight weeks. Once it’s closed, you get paid for another two weeks for severance pay.”_ _ _ _

____“Wait Mr. Plutt,” Rey sat down. Was she hearing him correctly? “Why are you closing? I don’t understand.”_ _ _ _

____“I guess you can say I’m selling. A company wants to buy the property. They’re a very successful media company too, so they paid good money for it.”_ _ _ _

____Of course it was about money._ _ _ _

____“Happy Thanksgiving Mr. Plutt,” Rey said as she hung up. This was just what she needed._ _ _ _

____Rose stayed in her room packing for most of the morning. Rey stayed in her room and tried to work but found herself unsuccessful. She sat on her bed and stared at the wall for several minutes, then went to their kitchen to grab a bite to eat while she watched a movie. Just something to take her mind off her morning._ _ _ _

____Paige came over later in the afternoon to pick up her sister. Rose gave Rey a hug before leaving. “Give me a call if you need to talk.”_ _ _ _

____Then the apartment was quiet._ _ _ _

____Finn had sent her a text saying he would come by on Friday night with pizza._ _ _ _

____Rey looked at the books on her desk and at the powerpoint she had been trying to work on. It took her all of two minutes to decide how she would spend her evening. Putting a coat, gloves, boots, and a scarf on over her clothes, she headed downstairs for a 20-minute walk. It wasn’t completely dark yet, so Rey enjoyed the last bit of sun as she looked for an address._ _ _ _

____Her destination was a good-size building, with a fireplace near the front and lights around the building to let everyone know they were open. There was no large blinking sign that flashed for the whole street to see, but it was busy._ _ _ _

____Rey read the menu near the front door. She opened the door and took in the smell._ _ _ _

____A small woman came up to her. “Welcome to Kanatas, dear.”_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Way to make the holidays worse for our girl Rey! Sorry for the lack of Reylo near the end there. Though I have a feeling Maz knows Ben Solo pretty well...


	19. All I Want For Christmas Is You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I can get one more chapter out before my husband and I fly to Virginia to see my family in 2 weeks :)

“Welcome to Kanatas, dear.”

Rey stared around at awe. It did have a cozy atmosphere- wood, a few fireplaces surrounding the tables, and a rustic smell. Small candles were placed on each table. 

“I’ll just get something to go,” Rey told the small woman, whose round eyes peered more closely at her. 

“You need to warm up first, child. I can see you shivering. Are you alone?”

Rey nodded. 

“How about a table at the bar? I’m Maz, you can talk to me while you eat if you want any company.”

“I’m Rey.”

Maz turned to look at her through the corner of her eye. “You’re Rey, are you?” She stopped at the bar and pointed to a chair. “Sit. I’ll even be your server tonight and recommend the best dishes to you. I am, after all, the owner here. You don’t have to be 21 to sit here but I will check your ID if you order alcohol, federal law.”

There were frames on the wall. Pictures of regular customers and friends with small notes written to Maz and the restaurant. 

Maz, who was about a foot shorter than Rey, handed her a menu and told her to take her time with it.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Rey looked over the food they offered. She had to give Ben (and Finn) credit. The place did have a charm to it and the food looked very appealing. She wondered if Maz knew Ben, considering he supposedly came here every Friday night? 

Except for that one Friday night a couple of weeks ago. 

Rey decided on the dish and drink she wanted, then looked closely at the pictures on the wall. Some were dated back to the late 70’s, and others were from earlier in the month. There were all types of photos- from weddings, birthdays, graduations, holidays, etc. Many were taken inside the restaurant.

“Do you know what you want to drink?” Maz came back with a pen and a pad of paper.

“And eat,” Rey looked to the menu. “Lemon water and a grilled cheese sandwich with minestrone soup. Would that be possible?”

“I have it on there, don’t I?” Maz scribbled it down. “It won’t take long,” she handed the paper to a server walking by. “How did you hear about us?”

“A friend told me,” it wasn’t a lie. Finn had told her, after he read about it from “Kylo” in the school paper. “He said he came here with my roommate.”

“Do you have a picture of one of them? I remember faces.”

Rey showed Maz pictures of both Finn and Rose from her phone.

“I remember them,” Maz said to Rey, after looking at the photos closely. “I did not serve them that night, but I spoke with them to make sure they were enjoying themselves. The boy had a more outgoing personality than the girl. She was very sweet though.”

“They are,” Rey put her phone away as her drink came. She was much warmer now, having been inside long enough to feel the heat from the fireplace. She took a sip of her drink, then tried to bring up what was on her mind. “Do you get a lot of regulars here?”

“Child, this is the one place where there are more regulars than visitors,” Maz assured her. “Some have been coming here for over 20 years!”

Rey glanced at one of the photos, the latest one with Monday’s date scribbled on the bottom right corner. And…

“Ben,” Rey said so softly that nobody else could hear her. She cleared her throat and pointed to the photo, speaking up. “That one is very recent.”

Maz at it over her glasses. “Ben’s birthday.”

“His birthday?” He hadn’t said anything in class earlier that day. Did any teachers actually tell their classes when their birthdays were?

“Yes, birthday. He turned 30. He turned down all my party ideas and his mothers ideas, but it’s hard for the Solo’s to say no to the food here.”

30\. He was now 10 years older than here. Not that that would stop the dreams or fantasies.

“You must know him well if you wanted to throw him a birthday party.”

“I have known him since he was a baby. I went to his parents wedding and I know more about him than almost anyone else he knows. He’s a regular here, comes every Friday night. He didn’t come a few weeks ago but all he said was that he was with somebody and wouldn’t be coming by. Of course I asked him about it.”

Rey’s face went red. Here it comes.

“He didn’t say much, just that he wouldn’t want to repeat most of the night.”

Rey tried not to show any emotion as she took a sip. “Were there a lot of people here for his birthday?”

“His parents came, and a few friends that I’m not sure he wanted to be with on a Monday night. I think one of them really likes him- a brunette that looks as if she walked off of the Halloween edition of Vogue,” Maz looked around at the customers and muttered, “I think her nails were longer than the utensils. She’s in one of the pictures.”

Rey looked at the photos surrounding the birthday photo.

The woman Maz was describing was not hard to find. It took a minute, but then Rey remembered that woman was the one she saw at the school fair. The one who really wanted to spend time with Ben. 

“Bazine,” Maz nodded to the photo with the woman they were speaking of. “Not a very nice girl either. I’ve known young Solo a long time, I know what girls he’s always liked even when he couldn’t form a proper word around them.”

“You have a fair amount of photos of him,” Rey commented, looking at the walls. 

More memories than photos. Sweetest young boy I knew. He wanted to be a great pilot like his father for a long time. He tried a sports team when he was little and left because his coach thought he lacked the proper communications skills and couldn’t work with a team. I don’t know what that man expected from a child but Ben has always been shy. He had a good temper as a teenager but he always told me why he was just frustrated. It’s not easy been picked on by kids and adults at school, commenting on physical features you’re already self-conscious about and telling you what beautiful parents you have.”

_He’s beautiful in his own way too_ , Rey nearly said out loud before catching herself.

Her food was brought out. She let Maz continue telling about all her memories of Ben Solo. 

The more Maz spoke, the more Rey began to realize just how much she had in common with Ben. He wasn’t alone. 

“You should have stopped me from talking so much,” Maz told her. “Now tell me about yourself Rey. Any holiday plans? If not, you should come again and enjoy a dessert.”

Rey shrugged. “No. I have finals in a few weeks and a project due soon, so I’ll spend this weekend working on my classes. Both my roommates are out of town this weekend and the week of Christmas. I have only eight more weeks of work left since my boss sold the property, so I have to find a new job in the next two months.”

It was more than she had planned to spill, but Maz was a good listener. 

Too good. She was staring at Rey rather intently. 

“Do I have something on my face?” Rey asked. 

“Sometimes you see the same eyes in different people,” Maz said softly, as if in her own galaxy far away. “Excuse me.”

Rey was left to finish her meal by herself, taking that time to look at the pictures again. It was strange seeing so many pictures of Ben without the scar on his face. She liked him either way. 

Liked him?

She shook her head. Everyone notices an attractive person, but that doesn’t mean anything. 

Liked him…

Even that piece of shit who took her virginity then left hadn’t even liked her enough. Rey never dated before college and still didn’t, three years into college. 

Ben had been right on one subject. Anything would have been highly inappropriate, considering he took her class every Monday and Wednesday morning. She had missed his birthday on Monday, but it wasn’t as if he made an announcement in class. 

She needed to get out of there, away from the pictures and memories. She paid, grabbed her bag, and left the restaurant. 

And in the back of the restaurant, the owner of Kanatas watched with a smile on her face. 

Maz  
_11:30 p.m: I just met a wonderful girl earlier tonight. I hope you come in again soon so I can tell you all about it._

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Rey did nothing on Thursday. She had two pieces of leftover pizza that Rose had gotten on Tuesday night and told her to eat over the weekend. She responded to a group message with Kaydel, Rose, Finn, and Poe. Each one wished the others a Happy Thanksgiving. 

Her thoughts went back to last night. According to Maz, the men in the Solo family were terrible at apologies. 

“It took years before I saw any sincere apologies come from Han. Neither of the Solo boys are good with it,” Maz had told her. 

Rey had never mentioned that she knew Ben. And yet, the way Maz would look at her as she told stories of Ben, it was like she knew.

No, she couldn’t know. How would she? Rey never said anything. The only way Maz would know is if Ben had said anything. Which was ridiculous, because he had no reason to talk about his students.

Kanatas was closed today and opening later tomorrow. They had delicious treats on their menu that Rey hadn’t been able to try. If she went early enough, she could go in and get a slice of pie without running into Ben. Or maybe she would get really lucky and he would be with his family all weekend. 

_Do you want to avoid him or are you hoping to see him?_

She still had to work on Saturday so Friday did seem like the more sensible option. Maz had been around for many years. It was easy to say she knew many people who would be willing to hire a girl with minimal experience in the work force. She knew how to repair things, that was a start. 

Rey spent the rest of the day writing a resume and working on her presentation. She’d finally chosen a topic from the beginning of the semester. 

Unlike many people around her, Rey did not spend Friday morning shopping. Instead, she slept in as late as her body would allow her and planned out her expenses. Getting gifts for her friends was not going to be easy. If they weren’t expecting any, then she was in the clear but she felt as if she could at least give them each something small. 

Getting all the work done meant she could watch more movies tonight. 

She started her walk to Kanatas around 4:00. It was early enough that nobody would be there yet for dinner. 

Maz was not surprised. 

“I knew you would be back,” she said, walking over to her. “You’re early.”

“Early for what?”

The woman froze for a bit before regaining her composure. “Nothing, nothing. Let’s just say early for dinner.”

“I’ll just have a dessert,” Rey told her.

“How about a meal?”

“I think I can just pay for the dessert today. I lost two work days with the holidays.”

“Oh, I’ll make sure it is taken care of. Just enjoy yourself and stay away from the cold for a little while longer.”

“Isn’t that stealing if I don’t pay?” Rey asked, but Maz was out of earshot.

A server brought the menu and left again. Rey chose the apple pie before Maz came back, cell phone in one hand a salad in the other. 

“I’m sorry about that, I had to make a personal call. I brought you a salad to start so you’re not sitting here hungry.”

“Isn’t it stealing if the restaurant covers my bill? I’d rather not eat anything if it gets you in trouble.”

“As the owner, I would only get in trouble with myself for buying you food that you look like you could use. Don’t worry about that tonight, it’s the holidays.”

“You’ve only met me once before.”

“We should all be taking care of each other. Now eat your food,” Maz said, before standing up and going to the front to greet customers coming in. 

There was something she wasn’t telling Rey.

“Miss Kanata recommend that we make you our famous Kanata’s casserole. Would you like that or prefer something else?” the server, a middle-aged woman, asked. “We have spaghetti, shepherd’s pie, pork chops-”

“The casserole will be fine,” Rey gave her a smile. “Thank you.”

The food was out only a few minutes after Rey had finished her salad. She was halfway done with her plate when the door opened again. She didn’t look up until she heard a familiar voice. 

“Where’s Maz?”

Rey frowned. Did he usually come this early?

“She’s in the back, Ben,” another server, this time a young man around Rey’s age, told him. Nice to see you so early.”

“She said it was an emergency,” Ben walked past him and went into the bac, pulling his hood off from his head. A hoodie, black jeans, and tennis shoes. He didn’t seem as if he had come prepared to eat her.  
Rey craned her neck to get a glimpse into the kitchen. Was Maz ok?

She couldn’t hear anything as more people started to come in though. Ben and Maz both came out, Ben with a scowl on his face. Rey could see them arguing.

“You’ll never do it on your own, so I am giving you a nudge,” she heard Maz say. “She doesn’t need to know everything.”

“Maz,” Ben started to turn around but Maz put her hands on his arms and turned him around. 

“Maz or Aunt Oz, like you said as a child?”

Rey was pretending not to eavesdrop as she ate quietly. The fact that a figure dressed in all-black appeared next to her table made her look up. 

“I was told you were here,” he said, glaring at Maz.

Maz took a seat and looked up at him expectantly. Ben hesitated before pulling a chair out and sitting down with them.

“She knows,” Ben said simply.

“She knows,” Rey repeated. “Knows what?”

“More than you or I want her to. She’s good at reading people,” he glanced towards the older woman sitting with them. 

“And when you say more than you or I want her to, what do you mean?”

He looked at Rey, then Maz, then the table. “Almost everything.”

“I know why he was gone that Friday,” Maz spoke up. “He didn’t give a name at the time, but it seemed quite obvious after he told me of the writing between you two.”

“Ben!”

“It wasn’t my fault!” Ben said, defensively. 

“You sound just like your father there, young Solo,” Maz smiled. “I can’t count on both hands how many times I’ve heard him say that.”

“Can you give us a minute, Maz?” Ben pleaded with her.

The woman nodded and stood up. “Make sure she eats the pie she ordered before she leaves.”

Rey waited until Maz was several feet away before leaning forward and whispering, “why did you tell her about the notes?”

“I can talk to her about things, and she always gets the truth out of me either way. She came to my parents house the day after we were supposed to meet in person and said I didn’t look right. That’s when I told her.”

Rey leaned back. “You know, she did seem as if she knew. I didn’t think anything of it on Wednesday but when I told her my name, she just said ‘you’re Rey, are you?’ So I guess the reason why was because you told her. Does she know that you teach my Monday and Wednesday morning class?”

“It came up.”

“Fantastic.”

She won’t say anything,” Ben promised her. “But you’re right, I should have told you earlier. Even if it made you uncomfortable in class.”

Rey shook her head. “I wouldn’t have been.”

She finished her main course. When the server came to clear it off, she greeted Ben with a smile then told Rey, “the Solos are like family to Maz.”

“How’s the project coming along?” he asked her when they were alone again.

“Good,” and she was telling the truth. “I found a topic and I’ve done more in-depth research that I think will help.”

“I’m glad.”

_Come on Ben, just one “sorry”…_

“Happy late birthday by the way,” Rey spoke quickly. “Maz told me on Wednesday that your birthday was at the beginning of the week. How does it feel to be 30?”

“No different.”

“Are you going to order anything?”

“It’s too early for me to eat. I’ll just stick around until 6, that’s when I usually come in if nothing is holding me up.”

Thankfully, the pie came right then so Rey didn’t have to feel like she needed to create conversation to clear the air. Ben ordered a tea to keep himself from staring at her while she ate. And just looking at her in general. 

“I understand why you were upset,” Ben spoke up. “I hope you’re not still too mad.”

Rey sighed. “I’m not. I have other things to worry about.”

“Anything I can help with?”

She shook her head. “No, I’ll be fine.”

They are the rest of the meal in silence. Rey paid the check, then gathered up her things and stood up. “Thank you for speaking with me.”

Ben nodded. “Of course. I will see you on Monday.”

Rey hesitated before deciding against what she was going to say. Ben heard the door close as she left.

“Ben Solo!” Maz scolded, from near the front of the door.

Ben trudged over. “Yes Maz?”

“She is walking home when it’s cold outside and snowing, and the only thing you say is ‘I will see you on Monday’?”

“It’s true. I’ll see her Monday.”

“Get out and drive her home. Don’t leave her out in the actual cold . What would your mother say?”

“My mother has nothing to do with this,” Ben protested. 

“I know she taught you to show a little more respect than that. Or are you worried Bazine will see you driving her home?”

“Bazine? What the hell does she have to do with anything? I talk to her but I do not like her in any capacity.”

“Then why are you still standing around?”

Ben grumbled as he grabbed his jacket, put it on, and went outside the door. It was amazing what that small woman could make him do. He had to adjust his eyes, trying to find Rey in the dark and snowy night. 

He took a few steps before he spotted the pink beanie. 

“Rey!”

She didn’t hear him the first time he called out her name. 

“Rey!”

Now she heard him. Good lord, the poor girl was freezing out here. She turned around and waited for him to catch up. 

“It’s cold out here, let me drive you home,” Ben said.

“I appreciate the offer, but I think it would be better if I walked.”

“How is that better?”

Rey shrugged. “Both times I’ve been in your car, it’s never gone well. I don’t want to be a bother.”

Ben’s bowed his head. “Rey-”

“I know Maz was the one who suggested it, and tell her thank you, but I really am fine. I can walk off the food,” she gave him a small smile before turning around and starting to walk again. 

“I’m sorry.”

She stopped “What did you say?”

_Neither of the Solo boys are good with it._

She turned around, unsure if she had heard correctly. It was a Christmas miracle if she had. Ben was looking at the ground, hands in his pockets. 

“I don’t know if I heard right,” she told him. “You might have to repeat that.”

His ears were going red. “I’m sorry.” He’d never looked so childlike than this moment and Rey was going to relish in the moment. 

“For what?”

His face was going pinker by the minute, and it wasn’t due to the cold. “For being a dick about everything and for kicking you out of my car the first time and for not apologizing earlier even though I was hoping you would see it from my perspective,” he said all in one breath. It was as if all the weight from his shoulders had been lifted off. “I know how I come across, but I really do like what I do most days. I didn’t want any trouble with the school or with the Headmaster because of our talks.”

“What’s his name? Uncle Wando?”

Ben lifted his head up and looked her straight in the eyes. “How long before you let up on that?”

“Oh, it’s going to be a while.”

“I guess that’s only fair,”

“And then there’s your Aunt Oz.”

“Christ Rey.”

“But I meant what I said earlier, I’m fine with walking.”

“Then I’ll walk with you.”

She looked at his hands. “You’re not wearing any gloves and you’re wearing shoes that will cause you to fall if you walk too far.”

“I won’t have my student murdered on her walk home.”

“There’s a dozen other people out here doing their shopping!” Rey protested, the word ‘student’ reminding her where they stood. It didn’t take much for her to change her mind. She could see that Ben was serious about walking with her. “How long will it take you to warm up your car and get the snow off of it?”

“Five minutes. You can wait inside Kanatas while I do that.”

“Fine,” Rey walked past him and went back inside the restaurant. Maz gave her a smile when she came back in.

“I told you Solo’s weren’t good at it,” she told Rey. 

“I’ve forgiven my parents for leaving, I think I can forgive him,” she said. “He doesn’t seem to have too much experience in that department anyway.”

“You’re caring,” Maz commented. “Tough, but caring.”

Rey looked outside the window. Maybe it was a good idea for him to drive her home, looking at the weather. A nice warm car was better than a cold walk in the dark. 

“Let me get you a warm drink before Ben comes back in. He’ll want to warm up too since he’s clearing snow and ice without anything covering his hands,” Maz stood up and went into the kitchen. It wasn’t long before she came back with hot chocolate. “Drink this.”

“Ben has told you a lot, hasn’t he?” Rey asked as she took a sip. “Of your employees told me that the Solos are family to you.”

“They are. Ben is like a son to me and I treat him as such, even when he’s being completely unreasonable.”

That made Rey chuckle. “You did share a lot on Wednesday. I guess I’ll have to come here more often so you can tell me stories.”

“Child, I have a list of stories longer than the Magna Carta,” Maz looked up. “I guess it will have to wait though.”

“Are you ready?” 

His voice made Rey jump. “You’re early.”

Ben shrugged and took a seat at the table. “I wasn’t in here long enough for my car to need a long time to warm up.”

Rey glanced at his hands. “Your hands are frozen.”

“I’m okay. I should just get you home after you finish your drink.”

Maz left them again as Rey finished up. Ben was patient, going through emails on his phone and occasionally frowning at some of them. Rey hid a smile in her mug whenever he made a face at the messages he had. 

“Ok, I’m ready,” Rey said, wiping her mouth with the napkin under the little plate the drink had come on. 

Ben opened Rey’s door for her when they got to the car. 

“Thank you for driving me and for saying sorry. I know it’s not easy for the Solo men to use that word.”

Ben laughed softly. “So we’ve been told.”

“How did Maz get you to come early to Kanatas?”

“With a lie, saying she was feeling sick and needed me to take her to the Doctor. I didn’t even think about why she was asking me when she has so many other people near her that she could ask. Maz is really good at faking sick over the phone too. I didn’t know she could do that until today.”

“Sorry if she interrupted your evening plans.”

“I was planning lessons and I needed the break.”

They made small conversation until he stopped in front of her building. “Try not to fall on your way in,” Ben told her. “Do you need help?”

Rey looked at the steps that she’d nearly fallen on just over an hour ago. “I can make it.”

Ben peered over her head. “Hmmmm.”

“What is it?”

“I think I should walk you up. Those steps don’t look too safe right now.”

Rey agreed. He helped her out of the car and walked behind her as she tried to keep her balance. The complex really needed a railing for times like these. 

Once they got to the top, Rey put her hand on the handle and turned around. “See? I didn’t fall.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You did slip though. I know you recovered fast enough that you thought I wouldn’t notice, but I still saw it.” 

“Slipped but didn’t fall.”

He gave her a small smile. “See you on Monday, Rey.”

Rey had made several mistakes over the years. Some were small, others not so much. Pressing her lips to Ben’s cheek before she could think was one of her bigger mistakes. It was gentle, over the scar across his face and down to his shoulders. And it would have seemed harmless if she wasn’t going to sit at a desk in his classroom on Monday and listen to him lecture. 

His face was only a few inches away as she pulled back, stunned. 

He had that dark look in his eyes. From Halloween, when their stared at each other as if in their own little world. Were his lips usually this red and wet? Were his eyes usually so intense?

“You should go inside Rey,” he said quietly, his breath brushing her cheek.

She nodded, avoiding any more eye contact, and went into the building as quickly as possible. Shit, she was feeling warm again down there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the continued support! Christmas is soon!
> 
> And my English/Scottish mother hates the word napkins. People outside the U.S know the word as serviettes.


	20. Once Upon A Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of a two-parter (hence why it's a little shorter)! My husband and I fly out to Virginia to see my family for Christmas on Saturday so the other part will be up before then :)

There was no lipstick, but the ghost of her lips still touched the scar on his face. Ben ran a finger over it. 

He hadn’t gone back to Kanatas. Instead, he chose to sit in his car about two blocks from Rey’s apartment and sit there stunned. Did he imagine that? Was this like one of those dreams he’d been having since earlier on in the semester? 

A few of those dreams were more than just kisses on the cheek, but her lips were as soft in the dreams as they were tonight. They were cold from the outside chill but it felt good against the heat of his skin. 

Monday was going to be a joy.

_Two more weeks, two more weeks._

 

Rey was one of the last into class. She’d managed to get a lot of homework done during her shift at work.

“Take your seats.”

She looked up. Ben looked like he hadn’t slept properly since they last spoke. 

“I know everyone is disappointed to be back and having to start with this class after a nice break, but we still have material to cover before your finals and winter break.”

He turned on the projector. “Sign-up sheets for presenting for extra credit are on my desk. Just pass them around.”

He handed a stack of papers to one student. By the time it reached Rey, the spots for the Monday two weeks from now were taken. Her options were a week from today or that next class. She put her name down for the next Monday. 

Ben glanced at her once, looking away the second she looked back at him. 

Was she in trouble for Friday night?

She never asked, only giving him one last look before leaving the classroom at the end of the period. 

Oh, but what she wouldn’t give to feel his cheek again with her lips, or to see his eyes and lips so close to her.

“A, B, C, or D?”

What the hell was he talking about now?

Rey was too busy staring at the mouth the words were coming out of. _Oh please let somebody answer before I’m caught not paying attention._

Thankfully, another student came to the rescue before Ben could notice Rey staring at him. She tried to take notes the rest of the class but failed. 

“Drafts for the presentation are due tomorrow afternoon! Two paragraphs on what you plan to cover, and an additional three sentences are why you believe I should give the chance to earn extra credit.”

He didn’t say anything to her when she got up to leave. Rey glanced back at him, unable to decide if she liked him better in his glasses or without. Not that either was a bad choice when he had that look of concentration on his face. 

That’s when he looked up.

Rey gave him a quick smile in attempt to hide the fact she’d been staring longer than most students would. Ben gave her a quick smile in return before he looked down again at the computer to log off. 

She nearly ran into someone leaving the room.

“Excuse you,” the woman told her.

Ms. Netal. 

Rey didn’t even get a word in before the woman was brushing past her. “Excuse _you,_ your majesty,” she muttered as she left the room, as tempting as it was to eavesdrop. She hoped Ms. Netal didn’t hear her. She probably could have clawed Rey’s eyes out with those nails of hers. 

From what Rey had told her, Bazine Netal would be perfectly fine being taken to Ben’s bed but he had no interest in doing so.

And that made Rey smile. 

Not that it was going to happen to her either, but one could only dream about it. Did his feet dangle off the end because he was so tall? Did he snore? Did he prefer to sleep on his side, his stomach, his back?

She tried to imagine what he would look like in his sleep. Maybe he slept with a shirt, maybe he slept without one. Did he look more relaxed in his sleep? 

Rose sent her a text, wondering if she would want to go see a late-night movie after her shift at work. Poe and Finn had already said yes to going. 

Rey replied with a yes and went about her day. 

She managed to write down a draft by the end of the night, looking it over multiple times before deciding it was satisfactory. She submitted it online before going to sleep, homework scattered around her room. 

It was early the next evening when she received a notification from her school e-mail. She opened it and sat up on the seat, behind the cash register.

Ben Solo.

To the entire class.

Rey chuckled to herself. What else was she expecting? An email asking her to come into his office late at night to play Big Bad Wolf?

**Everyone,**

**I have looked over the requests for presenting and have decided on a number of you. I considered the day you asked for and worked it out on the attached sheet. Please plan to speak for a maximum of ten minutes and a minimum of eight minutes to allow room for questions. Do not waste everyone’s time and plan to set up your presentation as quickly as possible, following the person before you.**

**Professor Solo**

Rey opened up the sheet that he had attached in the e-mail. She was scheduled for the day she wanted, at 9:50 a.m. It allowed her to not be the first, but also not to go last. 

That meant he had approved of her draft. 

But was he remembering that day the way she was?

It had been over 3 months since that first day of class, when she volunteered to be the lab rat of the day. She still didn’t know what got into her head that made her volunteer herself. She did remember feeling something strange when he stared into her eyes. A feeling of warmth. 

That meant she didn’t have much time to complete everything. At home, she made notes on questions that she might be expected to answer during the presentation, the names related to the topic at hand (as well as the correct pronunciations), and examples. Before she knew it, it was almost midnight. 

And there was still an assignment to do for Mr. Binks class. 

Rey didn’t finish until two in the morning. By then, she fell asleep the same way as she had the previous night. 

_Six Days later_

"Rey Johnson, it's your turn. 

Rey took a deep breath and walked up to the front. The students before her had done well (even though she noticed they looked more at the slides than at the other students. It took only a minute for her to bring up her e-mail and download the presentation. Thank god this classroom has a fast computer. 

The Forgetting Curve and the Spacing Effect. 

“I think I should start speaking about Hermann Ebbinghaus,” Rey told everyone as soon as she was set up. 

She could almost hear Ben smile as he, too, thought back to that first day of class when he stared into her. When Rey could swear he could see what was in her mind. 

She gave her presentation, trying to speak as clearly as possible (even if she forgot what word she was going to use or could feel her heart beating more quickly than normal). At least she was able to pronounce names, unlike Sarah. 

“Quick question,” Ben spoke up at the end.

“Yes, Mr. Solo?”

Oh god, that look he gave her right as she said that was almost dangerous. Add that to him wearing his glasses and having his pen so close to his mouth. 

“Can you explain how learning has an evolutionary purpose? Do you still think that is relevant to today? You mentioned that individuals succeed when they adapt to their environments, but I’d like you to expand on that.”

He gave her a moment before giving her a look that told her to go on. 

“Our brain is able to retain important or surprising information. If you get bitten by an animal, it takes minimal effort to remember that you were bitten by an animal. What’s harder is remembering the name because it has no effect on our ability to stay away from any danger. Remembering the bite ensures our safety, while the other is a random fact.” 

“What about in the world today? I know we can still get bitten by animals, but do we have to remember everything? Isn’t it easy just to look up information on the phone?”

“Yes, but our memory will remember what we want it to because we rarely have to focus on our own survival. Instead, we use our evolutionary and adaptive memory to remember new languages, the latest song by our favorite singer, make-up application routines, and facts about Jurassic Park. So, no, I don’t believe we’re retaining the same information we did 10 years ago, or 1,000 years ago,” Rey spewed this all out. She had no clue what she was even saying at this point. 

_Stop biting your lip, Ben!_

“Would you agree or disagree that memory helps us to adapt to our environments?”

Shit, she’d forgotten what he’d been asking. “I would agree that it does. As long as our memory isn’t only retaining the examples I’d mentioned.”

Ben nodded and began writing notes. “You can sit down now. Who’s next?”

Rey sat at her seat, refusing to think about the nonsense she’d spewed out. The class went on, some presentations better than others. Finn did very well with his, answering questions from Ben and one other classmate. 

“Everyone who is presenting on Wednesday and next Monday will need to be prepared. Our last class of the semester will be a review, so I strongly encourage everyone to show up that day. Attending it is not mandatory, but believe me when I say that it will help you in the final. As I’ve previously mentioned, the final will only cover material from the second half of the semester.”

Of course, she would be there next Wednesday. It was her chance to say good-bye to Ben before she never saw him again.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey truly was something else. 

He had to give her credit. She’d looked at him like a deer in the headlights. She did the best she could with his question.

It was better than half of the students mixing up dates and names. He’d been very clear on the years of Freud, and yet a student still believed he was from the time of Mozart.

Ben was going to have a blast grading the finals. 

Another favorite tradition from the end of the semester were the reviews students would give him. He’d never bothered to read the ones on Rate My Professor and he always prayed that the students would be too lazy to complete the ones the school sent to every student in their e-mails. And thankfully most of them never did it. The school would send out reminders every week for a whole month (until the new semester started) but the majority of the students didn’t check their school e-mail while they were on holiday.

Who wanted to take a survey for five professors every semester anyway?

Ben graded his students on their presentations that Wednesday. In some ways, he looked forward to the end of the semester. It wasn’t just the time off, but the fresh start. His energy was running low by the end and getting two-three weeks to recuperate was a blessing. He also never got close enough to students to really care (even the ones who majored in Psychology).

Except for one.

They weren’t close per se. He enjoyed their conversations (and he could admit now that he screwed up royally) and spending time with her enough to miss her next semester. The most he’d see her would be on the school grounds or the food court since the engineering building wasn’t nearby.

The student who was presenting (whose name Ben hadn’t learned) was busy getting words mispronounced and the names wrong but Ben wasn’t listening as well as he should have been. He was too busy looking at someone keep her eyes on her desk.

No family to go back to during the holidays…

“Karl Max married a woman named Jenny-”

Ben glanced at the guy. _Karl Marx and I’m not looking for his love life,_ he thought to himself. How did so many students get the little facts right on their outline and completely screw it up on their presentation? His guess was that they were typing everything that they saw on google. 

He looked back to Rey. She was still looking down, this time at her hands on her lap. Was she just going to be alone again like she was two weeks ago?

Maz had told him Rey was looking for a new job. He also knew Maz would hire the poor girl if she asked. 

He could recommend it to her. 

“Miss Johnson, could you come up here for a minute?” Ben asked her at the end of the period. “This won’t take long.” He waited until everyone else had left the room. “Rey, please don’t be mad, but Maz told me of your situation.”

“Situation?”

“About Unkar,” he waited for her to say something, but she never did. “Maz would hire you at Kanatas if you wanted to work there.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Because I told her that you were more hard-working that most of the students I’ve had. And you are,” Ben acknowledged. 

“I have no experience in anything food related.”

“You’re a fast learner.”

“What would I be doing?”

“Probably just cleaning up, that’s how I started.”

A look of realization crossed over Rey’s face. “You worked at Kanatas?”

“For two years. I promise you that she didn’t hire me because we were like family. I almost had to beg her to let me work there.”

“You must have really needed the money.”

“I didn’t,” Ben saw the look on her face. “That’s not me being prideful, that’s the truth. But I was bored and my parents and I were estranged at the time.”

“Which implies you did need money.”

“We were estranged but they didn’t leave me with nothing. I was bored and I wanted something to do besides listen to Hux drawl about nonsense,” Ben shook his head. “That has nothing to do with what I’m talking about. Will you at least promise me you’ll consider working at Kanatas? She’ll treat you like family.”

Rey nodded. “I’ll think about it,” she started walking away but turned around at the door. “What did you write?”

Confused, he glanced at the board to see nothing written there. “Where?”

“After that Friday night when you told me.”

“I wrote that I was sorry.”

“But Maz said-”

“We don’t like saying it, but we can write it down if we have to,” Ben gave her a small smile. “Give us some credit, Rey.”

She stared at him for a moment. “Well thank you for saying it. I didn’t read it of course, but I appreciate it.”

“I understand. Thank you for being patient with me. I’m not the easiest to deal with so the patience means a lot. I’d hate for you to leave this class with hard feelings.”

“I don’t hate you Ben,” she whispered softly. 

“I don’t hate you either Rey.” Ben confessed.

“This class was only an elective but I really enjoyed it,” she admitted. “I don’t think I’ll remember anything by the end of April though.”

Ben actually laughed. “Fair enough.”

“I’ll miss the class,” she told him. _I’ll miss you._

Ben only nodded glumly. What the hell was he feeling right now? Whatever it was, it didn’t want to see her leave and never come back. 

“I’ve got to go,” Rey walked back. “Bye.”

“Bye Rey.”

He sat there by himself in silence before packing up so the next teacher could set up. He took out his phone to make a phone call he’d been putting off. 

“Hey kid! Why don’t you just come to my office, why the call?”

“I can never find you, Lando,” Ben responded dryly. “I’m not spending an hour hunting you down. I just wanted to let you know that your research will be done by next week.”

“Oh son, you can wait until April. I didn’t mean to rush you, I just get competitive.”

“I know. But I think I know who I want to write about,” Ben ended the call and walked to his office.

It was time to start writing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Ben is slowly coming out of his denial...
> 
> Your Christmas present is next chapter


	21. The Only Exception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m a Reylo hoe who got carried away and wrote what should’ve been 2 chapters into one because I’m impatient…

It was the very last week of school and Rey could swear that half the school population only showed up for the first two weeks of the semester and the very last week. Despite the cold, she was grateful she didn’t have to drive and worry about parking. Finn had dropped her off at the door and gone to find a spot.

Ben seemed off that period during the presentations. His hand was twitching and he kept his gaze down as if he weren’t listening. Rey noticed his hand curl into a fist numerous times during the hour. 

One more class before the final, and then she would only see him in the halls (or not at all). She usually looked forward to the end of the semester, but she found herself wanting the semester to go on for at least another month. 

_He has no reason to go into the engineering building,_ Rey told herself. _Next thing we know, he’ll be transferring schools or moving out of the state._

She struggled to even get out of her seat when class was over. There was only one reason to leave (besides her next class)- the school paper. At least she would still be able to “hear” from Ben every Monday. 

Rey grabbed one of the last copies and walked over to the engineering building. Of course it was starting to rain.

Nothing from Kylo.

With a disappointed sigh, she leafed through the other sections. They discussed parking next semester, the new Health building, and new professors to expect. Rey closed the paper and nearly missed what was on the back page. There was a small announcement that the full article would be printed on its own. 

**Takodana Unviersity has seen success from students that came from around the world. A student from Japan came to school with a dictionary in his hand and left with a Masters in Biology and a perfect understanding of the English language. Another student came from France with her brother and sister. These two had family and friends wherever they were.**

**Not everyone is so fortunate.**

Oh god. Rey’s eyes widened as she read a very familiar description in the next paragraph. He left out numerous intimate and private details, but he still told her story. He perfectly described how trapped she had felt over the years and how hard she worked just to make it on her own after she left her so-called “home.”

**She is one of the most hard-working students in my class this semester. She never skipped out, never begging for extra credit because she didn’t do the assignments, and never once complained (to my face) about the work.**

**She had nobody to nurture her and help her grow, but she has helped me to grow. Not a lot, but I think I’m getting there. Students help teachers just as much, if not more, than we help them. Some of my favorite days this year were the days spent in conversation with her and I’m grateful I met her this semester. She came from nothing. She is nothing.**

**But not to me.**

**She knows who she is. I’ll miss her but I wish to say one last thing to her.**

**You’re not alone**

At the bottom were the initials B.H.S. Very vague if you didn’t know his middle name or his words. But Rey knew the latter. 

Was he here right now?

She stood up so fast her head spun. Once her head was clear again, she headed out of the building. 

Rey walked as fast as her legs could go, catching her breath as she got to where she needed to go. Her nose started running as she went from the cold to a heated building. 

“Yes?” Jyn looked up from her desk. 

“Do you have tissue?” Rey asked her. 

“Are you sick?” Jyn inquired as she handed her a box of Kleenex. 

“No, my nose just starts to run when I get inside someplace warm,” Rey blew her nose. “Is Ben in his office?”

“He’s busy but I’ll let him know you’re here. Rey, right?” she picked up the phone and pressed a button. “Hey Ben…I’m sorry but one of your students is here…Rey Johnson,” Jyn looked up at her. “I will, thanks” she hung up the phone and stood up to collect her belongings. “You can go in. Happy Holidays.”

Rey didn’t even knock as she went in. Ben was sitting at his desk, surrounded by paperwork. He stood up when she walked in.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I should have asked you.”

“You’ll miss me?”

Ben gave her a look of confusion. “Pardon?”

She held up the paper crumpled up in her fist. “You said it.”

“I’ll edit the final copy.”

“Why?”

He pinched the top of his nose and closed his eyes. “Rey, I’m confused. You do want me to change it, right?”

“No.”

“What about-”

“I do come from nothing, Ben. I disagree that I am nothing, but I know what you were trying to say,” she gave him a small smile. “You still need to work on wording it a little better.”

He opened his eyes and dropped his hand. “Deal.”

She lowered her gaze and placed her hand on the door handle. “I guess I won’t see you after next week. Thank you for all the…experiences.”

Ben gave a quiet laugh. “You can say it Rey. I’m an asshole some days.”

Damn it. 

Rey let go of the door handle and didn’t say anything as she walked closer to him. She placed her bag on the ground and stood in front of him. 

Why couldn’t he have been a few inches shorter? She was going to lose her balance if she stood on her tip toes. 

Her lips touched his cheek the same way they had on Friday. This time, she let them linger there for a moment longer. Her hands clenched onto his shoulders as she staggered, trying to maintain her balance. 

She felt his arm go around her waist. “It’s okay.”

Both their breathing was shaky as Rey kissed his cheek a second time, then moved back closer to his earlobe. 

Ben turned his head toward her, causing her to miss her destination. 

They stared at each other, breaths mingling as Rey closed the distance. She could not stop the sound that came out of her throat as she felt his lips press to hers. They were as soft as she had imagined many times before, the smooth touch of his lips igniting desire in her body as she wrapped one arm around his neck and the other running through his hair. 

Ben’s lips moved against hers for a moment before he withdrew only slightly away from her, looking at her face as she opened her eyes to look back at him. 

“You’re falling over,” he commented. 

“I’m sorry.”

He gave her a toothy grin. “It’s cute.”

“How long do you have until your next class?”

Ben looked at the clock. “An hour.”

Rey looked at the clock and back at him. “I should probably let you go then so you can get the work done that you need to do.”

“I’ve already finished it. You can stay if you want.”

She bit her bottom lips. If she stayed, she would just want to continue where they left off. If she did leave, then she would spend the rest of the day regretting her decision to leave and risk him putting a stop to it before she could have more. 

And her body was telling her it wanted more. It needed more. 

Rey looked at Ben, making her choice. When she heard him say her name as if he were asking her question, she gave him an answer. But she didn’t give him a verbal answer. Instead, she went up to him and tugged him down to her level so she could kiss him again. They had some time now before anyone came in.

His mouth was soft and persuasive, the tip of his tongue brushing against her lips. Rey opened it just enough to let him, their tongues ravishing each other’s mouths. Ben held her steady the whole time. 

“I have an idea,” he said before placing another kiss on her lips. He walked them backwards before she felt her knee hit the wood of his desk. She gave Ben a quick nod before he lifted her onto the desk. His hands went under her knees as he put her legs around his waist. 

Rey looked into his eyes before he pressed his lips against hers again. Their tongues fought against each other’s again as Rey pulled Ben as close to her as humanly possible. Moving away from her mouth, he left soft kisses again her jaw, the outline of her ear, and her cheek before he made his way down to her neck.

“I won’t leave a mark,” he promised, his breath tickling her neck.

“I don’t mind,” Rey told him. “That way, you can see it in class.”

Ben groaned. “That would make things hard.”

Rey glanced down and smirked. “I know something else that’s hard right now.”

Ben smiled again her neck. “Sorry, it’s just been a while.”

“No, I like it. Is this ok for you?”

He nodded, his grasp on her hair tightening as he gently tugged on it for better access. Rey let out an involuntary moan as he gently sucked on her skin, their bodies rubbing against each other. He was going to leave a mark and she was going to make sure he saw it each period for the next week. 

“Ben,” she let out a moan his fingers brushed against her sides. She was getting more and more hungry by the second.

That’s when she heard the vibrating sound.

Ben looked around and saw his phone lighting up.

“It’s just a text message,” he assured her. “Hux and Bazine want to know what my plans are for New Years Eve.”

“Do you have any?”

“Dinner with my parents and Uncle Luke. They don’t stay up that late so I’ll leave the house by 10 at the latest.”

“I guess you’ll make the party and get yourself a New Years Eve kiss,” Rey said, trying not to think about somebody else feeling his lips on theirs that night.

Ben snorted. “Do I look like the type to go to some wild party?”

“No, but I wanted to check with you first,” Rey smiled, slipping off the desk. 

“Where are you going?” Ben asked, watching her pick her bag off the ground.

“I have a feeling one of your friends will come by to ask you about New Years Eve in person,” she told him. “I think it would be better if I wasn’t caught with hair that looks like somebody played with it.”

“It doesn’t look bad,” Ben assured her. 

“You’re right,” Rey gave him a toothy grin. “Yours is much messier.”

“Shit, is it that bad?”

“I like it,” Rey admitted. 

“You might want to hide your neck for the next few days. You have a few turtlenecks or high-collared sweaters, right?”

“Are you kidding me?” She hissed. 

Ben cringed. “It’s already starting to darken.”

“How?”

“Well I’m no expert Rey, but I think it has to do with your request that I leave a mark for you so I can see it,” Ben answered with sarcasm dripping from those sinful lips that Rey wanted to feel all over.

“I said you, not everyone!”

“And where was I supposed to leave it for everyone to see but me?” 

He had her there. “If my friends see, they will never let it go. You know they’ll ask who it was, don’t you?”

“And I’m sure you’ll lie. It would be worse if it was on me.”

“Maybe next time it should be,” Rey put her hand on the doorknob and turned around to see Ben looking at her. “What is it?”

“Next time?”

“I-I mean,” Rey tried to clean the air. “Not-not that there needs to _be_ a next time. It just came out.”

Ben nodded. “You should head back. I’m sure Hux or Phasma will be here soon.”

“Just one more question.”

“Okay?”

“What’s the H stand for in your name?”

“Han.”

“Benjamin Han Solo. I like it,” Rey admitted. 

His lips twitched. “It’s all right.” He glanced at his phone as it vibrated again. “Hux is on his way over.”

Rey left without another word. Did she really just ask him for one time and then compliment his name? From past experience, she could already predict that Ben would either start to feel guilty about kissing her or worry about their future in their school. From there, he’d maybe tell her about his concerns then say that it was a onetime thing- a mistake. 

When would anything ever go right?

It was the question she was asking herself all day. She went through her classes and stayed a little late to study for finals in a warm room. 

Finn joined her for an hour then went home. One of his classes wanted a 10 page essay instead of a final. Rey couldn’t decide if that was worse than a final or not. 

It was 6:00 when Rey decided to leave for home. She sent a text to her roommates to see if either were still at school and could take her home. Kaydel responded back quickly to say she was not at school, but would be there in 20 minutes to come pick her up.

She put all her books in her bag and walked to the front of the school. 

Rey felt somebody bump into her while she was walking across the grounds.

“Sorry, Miss Johnson.”

Ben walked past her, giving her only a quick glance. As if his tongue hadn’t just been in her mouth hours earlier. 

Maybe because of all the students that were still on campus, cramming in study time for finals the week before. 

She’d have to ask him about that later when they were alone. 

Kaydel was in the parking lot with the car running and the heat on. 

“Thank you so much for getting me,” Rey opened the door and sat down. 

“You’re welcome,” she turned down the music. “Do you have everything?”

“Yep.”

Kaydel motioned to the passenger door. “You dropped something on the ground, right by your door.”

Rey looked around her feet. A little piece of paper must have fallen out of her bag. 

She opened it, then crumpled it up before Kaydel could see what was written and the number that was on it. 

_7:00, New Years Eve?_

She smiled the rest of the way home. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The students were finishing the final, with only a few actually saying good-bye as they handed him their papers.

Rey was taking more time than he thought she would. 

Sarah seemed, well, pissed off that he only said good-bye and good luck to her. Connor handed in his final and skipped out. Ben couldn’t help but glimpse at his work. He hadn’t seen that the last page also had a back, just like the others. That saved him from grading a page at least. 

By five minutes before the end, there were only four students left. Rey was one of them.

And she was the only student there until the last minute. 

“Rey, time’s up.”

She finished looking over her test and walked over to them, holding up the note he’d slipped into her coat. 

“No.”

Ben’s heart sank. Of course she would say that, after he told her repeatedly how inappropriate it would be. Or maybe he should have asked her to her face, or left it alone period. 

She leaned closer. “Saturday?”

He stood up and got a few inches. “This Saturday?”

She nodded eagerly. “Outside of here.”

“What are you in the mood for?”

She scrunched up her nose in the most adorable fashion. “Right now?”

Ben chuckled. “No, for Saturday.”

“How am I supposed to know what I’ll be in the mood for three days from now?”

“Is there anything you’ve been wanting to try, or you’ve been missing? Barbecue, seafood, sushi, Mexican…do any of those sound good?”

“Are there any Italian restaurants nearby?”

“Nearby or far from school?”

“Far, but not too far.”

Ben nodded in understanding. “There are plenty that serve actual Italian food and not just spaghetti and pizza. Did you want me to find it?”

“You know more than I do.”

He pulled out his phone. “Put your number in and I’ll text you a few places that I think will be good. I’ll let you have the final say.”

Rey took his phone and put her number in. 

When she left the room, she saw a few messages. Unkar had only responded to let her have the night off to study for a final she didn’t have (she just needed a break). One was from Finn and another was from Kaydel. Then there was the one she was waiting for. 

Unknown  
_9:43 a.m: Hey you_

Rey smiled and saved the name under Ben Solo, since nobody was going to be going through her contact lists. 

Ben kept his promise and sent her a few links that night. She smiled at the messages she got. 

Ben Solo  
_6:05 p.m: All up to you. I’m up for anything._

Rey Johnson  
_6:06 p.m: There is one thing I wanted to do though…_

Ben Solo  
_6:08 p.m: Anything you want_

Rey Johnson  
_6:10 p.m: Hot chocolate? It’s cold out and it’s the perfect season for it._

Ben Solo  
_6:12 p.m: Of course. It’s all for you. Anything else you want to do Saturday or New Years Eve?_

Rey Johnson  
_6:24 p.m: There are lots of activities I’ve never done or that I want to do, but Saturday might not be the day for it._

Ben Solo  
_6:25 p.m: For example?_

Rey Johnson  
_6: 28 p.m: Any activity involving snow like sledding or skiing. I would like to drive around and see Christmas light one evening. Kaydel, Rose, and I only go around the area to see them._

Ben Solo  
_6:30 p.m: We can do that sometime._

Rey Johnson  
_6:32 p.m: Really?_

Ben Solo  
_6:33 p.m: Of course. I know some places we can go to_

Rey Johnson  
_6:36 p.m: I would love that! Well I’m going to order some food. Suggestions?_

Ben Solo  
_6:37 p.m: Yes. Why order when you can make food?_

Rey Johnson  
_6:39 p.m: Because I need to get groceries._

Ben Solo  
_6:41 p.m: I meant you can come here to eat. I don’t want you going hungry if you can’t decide on what to order._

Rey Johnson  
_6:42 p.m: I would find something!_

Ben Solo  
_6:43 p.m: They overcharge for delivery fees. Up to you though. Don’t want you starving but I also don’t want you uncomfortable._

Rey thought about it for a little bit. She wasn’t ever uncomfortable around Ben unless she thought she was overstepping boundaries. But he did extend the invitation so that had to mean he was comfortable with her around.

Rey Johnson  
_6:48 p.m: Delivery fees are high. Are you sure it’s ok that I come?_

Ben Solo  
_6:49 p.m: I’m good with it if you are. You can watch a movie here too while I grade a few tests. I’ll come get you._

Rey Johnson  
_6:51 p.m: I’m actually excited about this. What time?_

Ben Solo  
_6:53 p.m: How about 7:30?_

Rey Johnson  
_6:54 p.m: Ok : ). Just text when you’re here_

Rey laid out half of her closet on her bed. Would he get the wrong impression if she dressed up to eat dinner at his place and watch a movie by herself on his couch? Should she be casual so that she wasn’t uncomfortable for hours?

He sent a message when he was on his way. Rey finally decided to keep her jeans on but changed into a comfortable sweater. She gathered up slippers, floss, and a toothbrush and put them into a bag. She wasn’t keen on having breath that smelled like whatever Ben was going to make (no matter how delicious it would be).

Her phone vibrated for several seconds before she noticed it was a phone call.

“Ben?” She answered.

“What apartment are you?”

“Do you want to get in trouble with Lando?”

“Half the students are already gone. There’s nobody in the hallways, so what apartment are you?”

Rey gave him the number and heard the knock less than a minute later.

“How did you get here so fast?” She asked him as she opened the door. His hood was still up (probably so nobody would see him).

He shrugged. “You can say I wanted to see you or you can say that I didn’t want to get caught. I’ll let you choose. Are you ready?”

Rey grabbed her purse and the bag. “Lead on.”

The drive back to his place was quiet, with Ben refusing to let her know how she did on the final (he’d glazed over it). He played music at a minimal level.

“Is this where you live?” Rey glanced up at the beautiful townhouse Ben parked in front of.

“It is.”

“It’s a big place for one person.”

“Three bedrooms. Only one guest room is furnished. I had to do it once Uncle Lando came by for a movie night and got too drunk to leave.”

“I don’t know him well, but I think I can actually imagine that happening in my head,” Rey admitted. “So what were we planning on making?”

“ _I_ was planning on just making lemon chicken with some rice. You’ve been doing finals all week, you need a break.”

“I was supposed to work tonight, I told Unkar I had one more final tomorrow,” Rey covered her eyes. “I can’t believe I lied like that just so I could relax tonight.”

Ben took her hands in his, squeezed them gently, and let go. “I would have done the same thing.”

“You would?”

“Of course. I lied to myself that I would wait until Saturday and now we can see how that went,” he showed her his living room. “Make yourself comfortable. I’m going to start making the food if you want to watch a movie. I’ll put the heat up on the stove so it doesn’t take longer than half an hour.”

He showed her how to use the remotes and went to work on food. She smiled at his childlike selection of movies (“I was drunk one night!” he’d said when she asked) and picked Beauty and the Beast. 

Rey switched between watching the movie and watching Ben cook. She could see he wasn’t used to having anyone over. His fridge and pantry were half full, he had only two pots and pans, and the kitchen was spotless. 

The movie was good. She was immersed in it for the first half hour before she could hear Ben come up. 

“Food’s done,” he leaned over her from behind the couch. “Enjoying the movie?”

She looked up. “The picture is so clear. Thank you so much for letting me do this while you do all the cooking.”

He looked down at her. “You’re my guest.”

Rey looked into his eyes before he leaned closer. 

The food went cold and the movie was forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays to my Reylo Family


	22. Love Shack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm alive

“Rey.” 

“Ben?”

He pulled back, hair sticking to his face and sweat coming down from both sides of his face. “I thought you were hungry.”

Rey tried to catch her breath. It started out clumsy on the couch before they decided to move to the carpet because there was more space, then to the chair where she could sit comfortably on his lap without her legs cramping. 

Ben’s eyes were dark. “You don’t seem too hungry for food right now.”

“I was,” Rey assured him. “But then you had to come over and look at me.”

“I’ve looked at you many times over this semester. I don’t remember you pulling me down on top of you.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t the same.”

“Oh, it wasn’t?”

“Have you ever had a student put you in that position? Why the hell would I ever do that in the middle of class?”

He didn’t say anything.

“What is it?” She asked. 

“Did you think about it?” he inquired in a low voice

“About what?”

“Never mind,” he gave her a small smile. He started to slide her off of him so he could stand up. “Are you hungry?”

Rey knew exactly what Ben had been asking her about. She just wasn’t about to admit anything to him. 

He put the food on plates (it had only been out for an hour) and set the table. Rey stood around, no words being exchanged between them. Did she do something to upset him? Did he think he upset her?

“I did,” she whispered. 

“Hm?” Ben turned around. 

“I did fantasize,” she admitted to him. “More than I’ll admit to you right now.”

“Oh?” Ben smirked. “Is there anything else you want share?”

Ben looked interested. “You did?”

Rey hung her head. “Yes.”

She saw his feet stop in front of hers. He put a finger under her chin so she could look at him. 

“Don’t be embarrassed by it,” he told her gently. They stared at each other for another moment before he turned around. “I hope you’re still hungry.”

Rey gave him a smile. “Absolutely.”

The food was great but there was something different in the air. She spent some time wondering if Ben was feeling uncomfortable. He certainly wasn’t doing so half an hour ago. He smiled at her once over dinner. 

“Ben?”

“Hm?”

She smiled. “I work all day Saturdays.”

He put his knife and fork down and gave her a smile. “I forgot about that. Would you be too tired to do anything after?”

Rey glanced down at his lips. “Not for everything.”

Ben laughed, the sound causing Rey to feel warm. “I wasn’t referring to that, but I guess we can add it. I was thinking more about a little place that’s still open after 9.”

“What little place?”

He only gave her a knowing smile. 

“Oh! Are you sure you want to go there after what happened last time?”

“Are you planning to have a repeat of that night? Because I was going to come get you, so repeating it would make it very difficult for you.”

Ben got up to clear off the table, and Rey stood up to help him. “No! I’m just surprised you want to come. I mean, you could come earlier if you want.”

Ben already had their dishes in his hands as he walked to the sink. “Earlier? I thought you had to stay there until 9. I don’t want to get you into any trouble.”

“You’ve been saying that all semester,” Rey reminded him, knowing he was talking about her work. “Besides, what could Unkar do? He’s the reason I’ll be out of work soon. No, I was just saying that it gets very quiet during the last hour.”

Ben stopped putting the dishes into the dishwasher and straightened up. “So you’re saying that hardly anyone is around by 8?”

“Sometimes earlier.” 

“Huh,” was his response before putting dishes away. He put them all in and started the dishwasher before looking at her. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?”

It had been a mere two minutes since she suggested the idea and the suspense was already killing her.

They finished the movie Ben had so rudely interrupted earlier (not that Rey minded). He looked over at her when he noticed her covering her mouth. “Tired?”

“No,” she answered, but her eyes said differently. 

“I should get you home then,” he gave her shoulders a light squeeze before he went to go get his keys. “I’ll get your coat.”

“Thanks Ben,” she muttered sleepily. 

He grabbed her coat and helped her put it on.

“Saturday is so far away,” Rey complained in the car. “It’s Wednesday!”

“Are you saying we should do something together before then?” He asked, his eyes staying on the road. 

“Not necessarily. I mean, you do seem to have quite the movie selection though…” she slumped in her seat. She was starting to look desperate and it would only cause him to call their New Years Eve date off.

But it didn’t.

Ben was in the same boat as she was. She worked on Thursday evening and slept in on Friday, enjoying the peace and quiet while she could.

Ben Solo  
_11:50 a.m: Hey_

Rey rolled her eyes. Of course that was all he led with.

Rey Johnson  
_11:58 p.m: Hey_

Ben Solo  
_12:01 p.m: Kanatas is hiring, if you’re interested._

Rey Johnson  
_12:03 p.m: For what positions?_

Ben Solo  
_12:04 p.m: Host. She’d start you off easy._

Rey Johnson  
_12:06 p.m: I’m not done until the end of January though._

Ben Solo  
_12:07 p.m: I know. I told Maz that._

“Goddamn it Ben,” Rey knew he meant well, but now she would let Maz down if she didn’t apply for the position. 

Ben Solo  
_12:09 p.m: Don’t hate me for it. She’d understand if you wanted to work somewhere else. I just wanted to help you out._

_She smiled at that._

_Rey Johnson:  
_12:12 p.m: I know you did, don’t worry. It would be foolish not to, right? Maz seems like a good person.__

_Ben Solo  
_12:14 p.m: She is. Who else would put up with the Solos for as long as she has?__

_Rey Johnson  
_12: 15 p.m: Thank you for helping me Ben.__

_Ben Solo  
_12: 17 p.m: Lunch?__

_Rey Johnson  
_12:18 p.m: What about it??__

_Ben Solo  
_12: 20: Do. You. Want. To. Get. Lunch?__

_Rey Johnson  
_12: 21 p.m: You could have said that in the first place. Give me half an hour.__

He gave her 45 minutes. She threw some clothes on, combed her hair, and brushed her teeth. The lip gloss certainly wasn’t because she was going to see him. 

“I picked some food up on the way over. Hope you don’t mind, but I won’t be able to cook. I want to finish grading everything.” 

“This early? Grades aren’t due until the 30th.” 

“I know the popular opinion among general masses believe I’m a grinch, but I really do want to enjoy the holidays like everyone else. I just won’t be ice skating or singing Christmas carols to my neighbors.” 

_Rey bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing at the image of Ben singing Christmas carols on the streets. Ice skating was out. He’d fall on his ass the first round they took. Not that she would be any better. She’d never skated before in her life._

“If you’re not hungry, we can eat later. You can watch movies or do whatever you’d like while I’m working. It won’t be distracting.” 

_Well there are some things I want to do that would be distracting…_

Rey mentally slapped herself. 

It was undeniably not what he had in mind. He sat at the table while she settled on the couch. They could see each other from where they were, but he couldn’t see the television, so it went smoothly. Ben was able to mark several papers in the time she watched Mary Poppins (a movie he claimed his mother had left there when Rey asked him about it). 

“There’s another one coming out, if it isn’t already,” he told her when he got up to get a drink from the fridge. 

“Coming out? Is this a series?” 

“I believe the books are. This is just a sequel to the one that came out in the 1960’s.” 

“Maybe I should ask Rose and Kaydel if they want to see it when they come back.” 

Ben stared at her. 

“Did I say something?” She asked him. Then an idea popped into her head. "Is this strange to you?” 

“I’m sorry if I seemed off the other night. It should feel strange, but I find that I enjoy having you here.” 

Rey smiled. “I enjoy being here.” 

They ate lunch when she felt hungry. She watched another movie afterwards and found herself opening the cupboards to look for a snack. 

“I’m sorry,” Rey apologized when she realized what she was doing. 

“You don’t need to ask. Eat anything you like. In fact, you’re welcome to bring some food home with you too.” 

She blushed. “I couldn’t do that.” 

He arched an eyebrow. “Those cookies you’re eyeing tell another story.” 

That was the last exchange they had until her second movie was done. The next thing Rey knew, Ben was gently shaking her awake. 

“You fell asleep,” he told her. 

“What time is it?” She yawned. 

“Almost 7.” 

Rey’s eyes shot open. “You’re joking.” 

“Not at all. You lay down with a pillow and blanket during the second movie. I looked back at you a few minutes later, and you were fast asleep. I had enough time to make dinner while you were asleep. If you’re up for it.” 

Rey sat up, trying not to imagine how she looked right now. At this point, she was going to fall asleep one night and not wake up until the following morning. Oh how comfortable his bed must be during the winter. She started imagining what it would be like to wake up cuddled next to Ben in the mornings. His hair tousled, his arm around her… 

“Rey?” 

She looked up at him. “Hm. Yes?” 

“Are you hungry?” 

“I’m feeling good. I don’t mind if you want to eat though.” 

Ben shrugged. “I can wait.” 

And he did. They ate an hour later and he lay down on the couch with her. She nuzzled closer into him while they talked (she didn’t think she could do another movie right then). Rey had to force herself to pull away when it got late. 

“Will you be sick of me by tomorrow?” She asked him as they stood. 

He shrugged. “I think you’ll be the one who’s sick of me.” 

“I’m not, so I think we’re safe,” she followed him to his car. She didn’t think it was possible to be sick of Ben Solo. 

They spent the next day texting when Rey could (which she could for most of the day), dodging any questions related to her final grade. They left deeper discussion for an in-person conversation. Ben sent her pictures after he cleaned his kitchen and living room and she would send him pictures of an empty store when a customer left. She even sent him a screenshot of her resume so he could give her suggestions on format and wording. It made Rey’s shift at work go by much more quickly. 

She told him she was hungry, because the sandwich hadn’t quite filled her up. Ben didn’t respond after that. 

The bell ring as the door opened. Rey looked up to see a very familiar someone holding up a heavy bag. 

“I brought some food. You said you were hungry, but you couldn’t leave.” 

“Ben!” 

“Sorry I disappeared, but I thought this would be a good surprise.” 

“The best,” Rey took the bag from him and looked inside. Just looking at the Chinese food make her stomach growl. “And you brought me a soda! Come, join me.” 

“I’ve already eaten, but I can keep you company. If you would like.” 

“Of course I would,” she sat at the desk and started eating. 

Ben grabbed a book from the shelves and sat on the floor behind her while he read. Rey went over her budget for next month and brushed up her resume, while throwing a mint in her mouth when he wasn’t looking. Would he care if she smelled like she’d just eaten? They sat quietly for nearly an hour, before Ben put the book away. It was “too dull,” as he explained. 

“It’s dead now. I can see why Unkar is closing this place,” Ben looked around. 

“It’s 10 minutes before closing.” 

“It’s been like this for the past hour.” 

“I have an idea.” 

Ben looked at her. A coy smile, biting her lips, a look in her eyes… 

“What, if I may ask, is this idea?” 

Rey looked to the door. Unkar never came around during her shift, but he would come after close to count any money. 

“To hell with it,” she flipped the sign on the door and locked it. “Now it’s closed.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

“I know, I know. You’re a Solo and you need things spelled for you because that’s how your family is. Even though I don’t know your family so I can only say what you’re like.” 

“Ok?” 

“I hope I’m not overstepping,” Rey took his hand, walking back (she knew this store pretty well). 

“We’re still going out, right?” 

“Of course, it’s just until the place officially closes.” 

“And Unkar?” 

“In the time I’ve worked here, he never comes during my shift and he never comes without letting me know first.” 

_Rey opened the door behind her._

“Is that a closet?” 

“It is.” 

Ben followed her into the room. “Did you want me to reach something in here? Some of those shelves are high.” 

“Are- are you serious?” 

_He shrugged. “I’m taller than you so it would make sense you’d need me to help you.”_

_Rey rolled her eyes. God help her. “I’m not short Ben, at least to the general population. I can reach the highest shelf with a chair and the rest on my feet.”_

“So, um…” 

_“Oh my god,” she slid her right hand around his neck and tugged him down._

His lips tasted like cherry and she thanked whoever was listening that she’d bought a strawberry tasting chapstick. They moved in sync until she heard something fall to the ground. She pulled back and looked. 

“Shit!” She exclaimed. 

“What are those?” he looked down. 

“Just records of this months purchases.” 

“That dumbass does the accounting here too?” 

“No, _I_ keep track of what was sold when I’m here, and he keeps track of what is bought when he’s here.” 

“Well you won’t need to worry about that soon, will you?” he leaned in closer until Rey was against the wall. “Let him be the one to clean it up and you can say it just fell over.” 

“You’re awful.” 

Their noses touched. “Yes, I am,” he whispered as he kissed her. Rey couldn’t even be embarrassed this time about the sounds coming out of her. Hands in hair, bodies pressed against each other, lips moving in rhythm. 

Where had this been since she started college? 

She knew Ben was enjoying himself, that much she recognized. He must have seen the look of confusion on her face when he pulled away. 

“I thought we made plans.” 

Rey made a whining noise as he let her go. “I like this too.” 

“I know, but I think you’ll like going out too. Why don’t you finish everything, and I’ll be right out?” 

“Putting my resume away will take two seconds.” 

He hesitated. “I know, but I need a moment. Trust me.” 

Not wanting to ask him why (she could take a guess), Rey left him in there while she put everything away and wasted time making sure the shelves were organized. He came out five minutes later. 

“Is everything all right?” she asked him. 

“Yes. Shall we?” 

Rey watched him as they walked out. She was very much looking forward to New Years Eve this year. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay! My brain has been fried after work. :D


	23. Authors note

Hey all,

This is going on hiatus. A few of my clients have passed away and a friend took his own life so I’m going to take a break. I can’t say much about my job at a firm but it involves helping others so when they pass, it feels like I didn’t help enough even though I couldn’t have done anything. 

I’m not sure I like the writing so I’ll try to come back when I can. 

I’ll still read other fics I’ve subscribed to (they cheer me up). 

My husband is being great with me so that helps.

Love you all.

**Author's Note:**

> For those curious, I originally had Rey put her name. It has been changed. (Rey of sunshine, hence sunny. Get it?) slow start! I hope this wasn’t awful. Rey and “Kylo” will have more communication, I swear. Mistakes are all mine. I was hoping the font would be different for the column but I'm new to this and can't figure it out yet. 
> 
> What do you think so far? This is just for fun. My writing will improve but I just wanted to get this out. 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as ishipalot. If you know how to make a moodboard, I could really use the help :)
> 
> xoxo


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